Fantastic Four vs. Starsky and Hutch...

"In a Starsky and Hutch world, the Silver Surfer wouldn't have stood a chance..."
But alas!
Tis not to be, so I will say that I thoroughly enjoyed this one more than the first, which was apparently unmemorable. I saw it was PG rated and realized it would be swarming with kids, but they were pretty well behaved and engrossed in the flick.
Normally a B+ type movie, but the fact that I actually really enjoyed it bumps it up to an A-.
So eat it!!!
I loved the space sequences and fast pace of it all, and them trying to find time to get married on top of it all...
"Am I the only one that sees the irony in the gay cast member marrying the hottest chick on the planet?!?!?"
Go see it people, it was good, except the shameless cameo by Stan Lee being thrown out of the wedding after throwing his name around more than a few times. OK, we get it, you made comics and shit...
Starsky and Hutch would've saved the day in their own special way.
Brute force.
And the planet still might have been destroyed in the process!!! Between the dark fro and the golden mane, that shiny little freak on a boogie board woulda been filled full of hot lead, and a heaping helping of cutting edge police brutality:physically and emotionally...
I am alone tonight people, and feeling kinda low. I haven't been blogging much lately, but have been making a few videos on my youtube page, which you will be able to find to your right.
"He is a complete retard too..."
Hey-y-y-y, I even play the drums on one!!!
Exactly.

Wow, it's almost as if they know you want to have a threesome with them, regardless of your sex, or even your inability to embrace the more sensual side of life. But don't worry...
"They will embrace that side, and several others, including deep on ze inside..."
Ouch!!!
Like a stool pigeon on a rotisserie...

Hostelities in My Nether Regions...

I saw Hostel last night, but was busy doing nothing, so I didn't post it last night. Sue me.
It was ok, I give it a B. The brunette who cuts the guys weener off in the end is pretty sweet too, and kinda petite. Thankfully it wasn't as much tits and ass as the other movie was. Good special effects, I just wish they would have spent more time in the rooms, doing what they do best.
Oh well.
"It was better than Pirates 3..."
So yeah, I've been busy, and I've got two weeks of schooling I have to go to soon. It's gonna be tough to hang around on the net maybe, my brain might swell, and I will need to rest that said weary head...

I read the local sheriff's department's jail roster, with accompanying mug shots, on a daily basis. I was wondering just what the heck is wrong with this lady's face! Has she been arab drifting with it? Is this road rash, roseatia, or the worst frickin' acne I ever did seen?!?!?!
A word to the wise:
"Don't blow homeless guys."
Dood!!!
Forgive them Father...

Spectaculate and Manisculate...

Sorry, my moods have been too dark of late to share with the likes of all ye...
"And he ain't just whistlin' Dixie either!!!"

But I will be back soon, to tell you of movies seen, and Fall Out Boy concerts, and whatever else I've been doing in the meantime...
So you can spectaculate and manisculate all you want on the particulars of my doom and gloom.

You will be none the better for it...

B-Day Shoutout to Mah Pizzle Drippin's!!!

Someone is turning eleven tomorrow. This is almost like advertisement to the ladies. I'm ugly as hell, but I make cute little rugrats. But I digress...
She already had a skate party today, with cake, presents, and friends. Now two of them are here for the night...

I wish I had an outfit like this, and an industrial size jar of Vaseline, so I can be all slimy and slick as I come all jerkily out of the hallway. It's either this or...

"He comes out looking like Ricky Skaggs?!?"

Run for your lives!!!

I'd rather face the Pale Man myself. At least he won't bore you with his bluegrass nasal wheezings. Kidding!!! I know some of you may be a big fan of his. Ok, one of you...

So I don't know what tomorrow brings birthday-wise, but I'm sure it involves me working hard to make it come to fruition.

"While I'm here..."

Yes...

I saw Pirates 3. It was extremely long, and there tweren't any decent swordplay, if any, until the end. The end of a 2 hour and 48 minute snoozefest I tell you!!!

It wasn't bad, but it was far from the first installment, I give it a C+ only due to good special effects. Johnny Depp wasn't even likeable in this, he did nothing throughout to redeem himself. And Orlando pouted and preened like the dandy he is.

"Chick's still pretty hawt..."

Even has a hearbeat!!!

Nothing could save this lump of poo. You wanna talk about near death experiences?!?!?!?!?

I'm counting this as one of my more recent ones...

So happy birthday to my personal favorite person in the whole wide world!!!

I love you sweety, and I know, I know...

I gotta go to the mall and get those Healies before school is out so you can show them off. I'm such a square...

"You're such a good daddy..."

Hey, my parents never bought me those parachute pants I wanted so desperately!!!

Such is life.

Blog B-Day Graveh Love!!!

Woops, I forgot that the 13th was this blog's very first birthday...
"How could you, I mean really!"
Yes, indeed.
Well, I apologize for that folks, but I plan on making this a regular tradition, never announcing the anniversary until I've actually remembered it, which isn't hard for me to do by the way... ramble ramble...
So wherever you are, take a moment out to get down on your knees and thank the lord for TIG OL BITTIES!!!
"Wheee, this is fun!!!"
Would someone please get this goofy bastard off my back...?
It's your monkey...
Damn it, I hate when he's right...

Red Hawt Graveh Love!!!

Yes, Graveh with his trusty guitar. He's all prettied up too...
"He doesn't look so much like a hairy beast anymore."

The OGRE is dead!!!

Alot of hair went down the sink, and I went through two razors getting all the fuzz on the underside of my neck. Then came the hair dye...

So, if you look to the links on the right, there is some Red Hawt Video Graveh Love with your name written all over it. My way of giving back to the world as we know it. Try not to get any on your lapel, if you're careful...

Chizz-Nizzed!!!

I resaw 28 Weeks Later last night, but kept falling asleep, even with the bag of Reese's Pieces and a humongous Cherry Coke. I just couldn't get into it, my mind has been elsewhere of lates. And ever since I saw Pan's Labyrinth, everything else pales in comparison!!! Who won best movie of the year again...?
That is probably one of the best movies I have seen in a dog's age, seriously. A rare A+ in my book: everything you'd want in a movie and a few things you'd never have even imagined. I will own this soon.

Here's my Ms. Garrison tee I got for $5 at Spencer's, what a steal!!! I am also going to dye my hair black again today, the name of the color was blue/black on the box and had an Oriental lady on the box. So I'm guessing it will go good with my Chinese eyes...

I also started a more private, unfindable blog. It is unfindable by the likes of any of you...

Trust me, you wouldn't wanna read it anyway...

...Click... BAM!

I looked up names of a few of my friends, dead or alive, on the net. Every little link that came up took me nowhere near what I wanted. Just alot of things to try to take my mind off of the task at hand, but none working at all, it seemed. It just saddens me that it is so easy to forget all the things in the world that pain us so much just by the click of a mousebutton. I'm afraid it doesn't work that easy for me...

I went to sleep as soon as I got home from work today and woke up around 8:30. Now I am getting ready to go back to sleep, and it's a little after ten now.

I think I zigged when I shoulda zagged...

Or french fryed when I shoulda pizza-ed...

Anybody else out there feeling me?

Russell, this Watermelon in Easterhay is for you buddeh...

P.S. I just got a sweet webcam.

Weiner vs. Winner: It's All the RAGE...

So I guess I better throw out a quick review before someone gets their panties in a bunch.
Har-dee-har-har!!!
"Does anyone even read it anymore...?"
Well, I lost my counter in the blogger move, it seems, but have now installed a new one. I like the new look of this, I even have kickass links to kickass places!!!
So 28 Weeks Later was pretty sweet too, I give it an A-. It did alot better in my mind than Resident Evil 2 did, it built upon without nearly as much cheese involved, including the opening sequence where this guy fucks over his wife to get away from the raging throng of the infected...
OUCH!!!
"Yeah ladies, it makes you wanna rethink how often you're giving up the goods to your old man."
I don't wanna give alot up but you gotta know how it ends by now...
Mainland baby!!!


An acquaintance on a forum did up this likeness of me: Quite fetching indeed!!! I am flattered to the fullest, and I mean that literally...

Here's my reply picture of him getting it on with a homeless man with the false promise that a free meal will follow. The poor bum thinks that hotdog will be all his when it is all said and done...

But NO!!!

"Twas not to be this fortnight..."

You know it's gonna get crushed and torn before the fun even starts. And the only thing he's gonna be swallowin' is a bittersweet load of Uncle Paulie's Miracle Salve.

Patent pending...

To Suck or Not To Suck...?

This better not suck. The trailers have all looked good, even the local critic hated it, so it must be kickass!!! Of course this one will be more polished than the indie runaway hit it sequels that I just happen to own on DVD. The original was great, and the main character, whatshisface, has a budding career now, possibly as a Batman foe.

28 Days Later was fresh, and crisp. It semi helped breathe new life and interest into a dead franchise: The living dead, or flesh eating ghouls. Whichever you prefer. I'm gonna go take a shower now...

This better not suck...

(Back later with a review.)

Still Illin'...

I've been burnin' up lately, ill since last Friday pretty much. I am now on some kind of hydrocodone syrup that's kicking my ass now, but I have to go back to work tomorrow...
And on top of that, I've decided to see how long I can go without shaving or cutting my hair.
The Messiah...?

"Hardly..."
But I did get this sweet baby picture sent to me today. Of course I did have to alter it a little to suit the mood. I've scanned quite a few pictures these days I've been off. Lots of stuff to play with...
Yet now sleep overtakes me.
Woozy...

A Match Made in Heaven...

Gene pulled no punches, Gene held the rousing rabble at bay, Gene got answers to difficult queries...
After conquering radio and television, he set his sights on The Tonight show, then leap frogged his way into the job that would set him apart from the rest...
"And would mold TV gameshows for decades to come!!!"
Witty and decadent, randy and hip, that's what Mr. Rayburn was all about!
Rolling with the punches. And giving a few back...

As you can see, there were many an infamous episode, whether it be a "nipple slip" of the tongue, or coming up with fake contestant names like Harry and Balls, to be pitted against one another. The liquor would flow, panties would fly, and the good times would never end...
Or so they thought.

We all know Gene got alot of tail backstage, but he could knit a mean sock as well. Rumored to be the original all purpose spy/gameshow host prototype before guys like Chuck Barris and Jim Perry, of Card Sharks, were ever brought into the fold. His feats of bravery and loyalty to the flag will never be fully known, but it has been said that he could decapitate a man at a hundred yards with the flick of his question card...

And that his long skinny microphone was actually a high tech anal truth probing doohickey of the most devious sort. This of course is classified information...

"You're on a need to know basis here people!!!"

If you knew, you'd be dead already.

Rest in peace, Gene, I know it's not your birthday, or the anniversary of your death, but you're still missed buddy. I grew up on that show, it is part of what made me all that I am. The boozing... the womanizing... that kickass guitar laden theme running through my brain...

"The incessant urge to..."

BLANK.

Shades of Graveh...

Whether sporting a tux or that "fresh outta the grave" look, he is always on the go!
"Look at him g-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!!!"
Dopplegangbangin' it...
However it turns out, there's always a little more Graveh left in the tank. It's almost a given, and something many have come to depend on.
"Dare I say leading a charmed life...?"
Pshh! Hardly.
But the Graveh do lead an interestingly bizarre life; a feast or famine to the finest and fullest extent. Arm and arm, yet neck and neck, and toe to toe, I'm racing destiny to the finish line.
"I refuse to be a plaything of the gods any longer!!!"
He shouts...
He fumes and festers...
Unabated and never sated, he has firmly yet so eloquently stated: I am dedicated to be medicated, and once mated, to be inundated with the thing for which I've so long waited. To be rated as one of the fated, and to be highly elevated...

Parallels in the Black...

I saw Spiderman 3 last night. It was very good, but my heart wasn't into it for some reason. It wasn't the kids blabbing away all around me with no regards to the movie whatsoever, nor the fact that I'm getting a little flu-ish. But I still give it an A, the story left you hungering for the battle, and he doesnt don the black suit until the last hour or so and Venom doesn't appear until there is only about a half hour left.
But they apparently have signed to do three more pictures so we can expect more dazzling effects and brilliant storylines to come...
MAXIMUM CARNAGE!!!

And such is my existence as well. I'm guessing I won't be sated in life until it is over it seems. Things are going downhill at an alarmingly fast and brutal rate for me now. Like ol' Pete, I've been strutting around like a peacock, with my head in the clouds...
"Or did you mean up your butt?"
That's enough out of you for today!
He's right, you know...
Where were you guys when I needed you?!?!? I wonder sometimes if it is not me who is sabotaging my well being. I am a severely complicated person, to all but myself.
In spite of this, I persevere and trudge on, dragging my feet where I may.
"Usually at an electronics department somewhere..."
I always seem to come away empty handed. Yet another parallel...
All she...
I want but it only stops the numbness for a little while, then you get into a pattern...
All she wants is...
What do I have to do, where do I have to go, and how the fuck do I even find it?
"Is everybody else faking it too?!?!?"
More!!!
But does it really help at all? Misery has a strange flavor, and the sting of all that can wrong is intoxicating. I must've always had a thing for that feeling in the pit of your stomach.
I can't explain how I feel: the paradox of me that wants you to love me and leave me the fuck alone!!!
My arms are open, inviting... outstretched...
Impending DOOM!!!
"Come take us..."
Away. Get on your bikes and ride!!!

A Lovestory of Capitol Proportions...

"Coming soon..."
A tale of the love shared between two men: one stiff as stone, the other stoned stiff. What would come of this taudry affair, only time would tell. Or until he got back onto the bus. Because he didn't live in Little Rock, he was just a couple hours north. That damn statue was nailed to the floor , and was too cumbersome to escape with into the drizzly afternoon anyhoo.
There will be more to come...
I promise you this.

Boobs and Bombs...

That's right kiddies, it's movie time again...
"Today's pick was a doozy too!!!"
NEXT.
I ended up seeing it alone, as my kids were wont to see the latest teen flick, Invisible. As I was originally still a little raw from Ghost Rider, I entered into this a little uneasily at first. But it pretty much kicks off with a bang, and doesn't let up until the end. Why couldn't Ghost Rider have an awesome plot as well...
"Hmmm..."
A- is the grade today.
It was faintly reminiscent of Memento, yet not as confusing. The special effects and shizzle were top notch, I'd say, and quite generously ladled on, as if by...
The HAND of GRAVEH hisself!!!
To go into detail and break it down to you would be to give the plot away, and since I liked it, I ain't iguana do that. Go see it for yourselves, I'm predicting a slam dunk of the senses, a field goal celebration of WTF, and a virtual cornicopia of kickassedness...
I will give you the general storyline and tidbits:
About the only thing I can say about the whole shi-bang is that Nik is gifted with an ability to see a short distance into the future, and the Men in Black want him to help them save Los Angeles from a nuclear explosion, even though I can't recall, or think they even mentioned, why these guys were even blowin' shit up in the first place. The best part I thought was when he was using his powers to elude casino security often by the hair of his chinny chin chin.
Ginger Julianne Moore is unfortunately in this, but she isn't freckling up the movie like I'd hoped she wouldn't. However, Jessica Biel is a boner inducer through and through heeyah.
And of course...
The black guy gets it near the end of the movie...
You don't have to be clairvoyant to know that was coming...

Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa...

When I look back upon my life, it's always with a sense of shame,
I've always been the one to blame...
For everything I long to do, no matter when or where or who,
Has one thing in common too...
At school they taught me how to be, so pure in thought and word and deed,
They didn't quite succeed...
For everything I long to do, no matter when or where or who,
Has one thing in common too...
Father forgive me, I tried not to do it!
Turned over a new leaf, then tore right through it,
Whatever you taught me, I didn't believe it...
Father you fought me, 'cause I didn't care,
And I still don't understand...
So I look back upon my life, forever with a sense of shame,
I've always been the one to blame...
For everything I long to do, no matter when or where or who,
Has one thing in common too...
Everything I've ever done,
Everything I ever do,
Every place I've ever been,
Everywhere I'm going to...
It's a sin...

Confiteor Deo omnipotenti vobis fratres quia peccavi nimis cogitatione, verbo, opereet omissione. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa...

Capitol Woes and Bus-time Follies...

Yesterday I got up at 4 am to get ready for a class trip with my daughter to Little Rock...
I got up long enough to reset my alarm for 4:45 am, then get up and reset it a last time for 5:20 am. I had been up the night before pretty late erasing and trying to put new music on the mp3 player, to no avail. I had all the time in the world it seemed, but then I had none and had barely any of my deliciously good music on there to enjoy. So after a last minute schmoke up I was ready to go. I had Doritos, Reese's Pieces, pop tarts, Quizno's and drink for lunch, and a few other things to get the munchness started out right. I ended up sleeping most of the way there while it stormed outside, and kids went apeshit inside.
I did, however, get a kid in trouble. After a painfully long stop at the Clarksville McDonald's, we were nearly there, and I started making the siren noise while throwing it off to the side, thus confusing and pissing off the bus driver. Next thing you know, everybody in the front is searching for the mystery cop tailing us. Eyes are darting back and forth, and all are suspect at this point. Except the chaperones, namely me, as I also glare menacingly back at the students. As it calms, I see we are near the zoo. I drop another one on them and a treacher jumps up and whirls on the students.
"Who is doing that?!?!?!"
Silence...
Some kid was playing a game and she thought this might be th culprit, so she made him turn it off. He also had to sit in the front on the way back, but that will come into play later in the story...
So we get less than an hour to ogle the inhabitants of this managerie, and most of the damn things are taking a piss or something, as they were not there. I'm also now leading a rag-tag team consisting of me, my daughter, her friend Ashton, and a terrible twosome in Fantasia and Michelle.
They really weren't bad in the end, just needed someone to firmly explain what up with them. The main problem was that my kid and her friend had issues with them, don't ask me what. They couldn't explain it to me either, so I told them that there would be no switching. We'd go as is and that was that. The only thing that bothered me was when one made mention of her father being dead in a car accident, without any emotion at all. I also had a little chat with them about their language, especially when they thought they were out of earshot. Or the fact that I can read lips.
Unfortunately, odds are they will both be pregnant sometime in their teens, and I'd put money on that too. Hope not, but yeah, probably...
So we end up eating lunch on the bus while they fix a really loud buzzer problem. So I got a 6" sub with a side of migraine. And the buzzer never got truly fixed, it went off from time to time. Then off to the Capitol building...
It was hailing when we pulled into the parking lot, but we ran inside to escape the bus. It was nice, but the tour was boring and that building isn't all that big really. I took pictures the whole time so I will later post a few. I tried to get some interesting ones, but you will have to be the judge of that for me. So blah blah, we leave, eat dinner at the same fucking McDonald's, and head home. We actually got there 30 minutes early, at 7:30 pm. I had tried to sleep again but the boy from earlier kept messing with me until I gave up. His breath was so bad he could knock a buzzard off a shitwagon, and I told him this too!!!
It was too late to see a movie when I returned, and I had plans elsewhere anyhoo. I took my kids to see Disturbia today, but saw Blades of Glory again myself. Still just as funny as the first time. Grindhouse has such weird showing times that I was unable to catch it. Oh well, maybe later...
Tomorrow is my mother's birthday. All should take a moment of silence and bow their heads in her honor.
I love you Mom, and happy birthday, I hope you got another 61 in you!!! Just do me a favor and outlive me, that's all I ask. I can't bear to be without you.
Anybody else out there love their mamas? Let them know how you feel!
There will be more reminiscence when the pictures get developed. I'm too burnt out to remember anything else I did at the moment. And I wanna hear some more Pet Shop Boys...

Dead Reckonings...

Neglectful, ain't I? At the moment I am unable to look back to see just how long tis been...
I've done a few things since then, probably nothing worth mentioning since it obviously wasn't worth remembering in my brain. I even saw The Reaping, but didn't feel inspired to thrill you with my riveting review.
"We gave it a B...
MINUS!!!

Yes, Dead Graveh in all his gloreh. I must say I am a master with make up. And who else does a better cross in blood on the forehead thingie...

Ahh yes. Two heads are better than one. But three heads now...

"That sounds like a Police reunion to me!!!"

You bet it is, and I'm living proof as I slouch here in my chair, ticket in greasy, Hot Cheeto powder covered hand.

Alot of things I'm looking forward to, I reckon, there just isn't much happening around these parts now, if ya dig...

I'm going to Little Rock to see the Capitol and the zoo with my daughter and her school from 6 am to 8 pm. I will be chaperoning kids. And they better be good or I will chaperone my foot up their patooties.

Not really.

I'm still kinda pissed that they wouldn't let me drive my own car, said I'd have to pay for all the stuff if I did, like tickets. I'm saving 23 bucks ,plus gas money and snacks, by riding the bus, but I won't be without an mp3 player. And I will probably finish the last two books in the Chronicles of Narnia.

I reckon I'll be dead by the time the bus pulls into the final stop...

Dekkadence!!!

Graveh throughout the years in scrapbook form, with a Where's Waldo twist! So many things to find: bloody crosses, Harry Potter, XMAS stockings, cooling fan, Vulcan hand signals, Robert Smith (of the Cure) lipstick, comic book superheroes, and a Steal Ur Face symbol...
You win nothing of course, but will feel better for trying and get to see the Graveh through the decades, in all his decadence...
I rented Black XMAS and Children of Men, but my wife wants to watch one of the new nonrelease ones. Go figure. Fucking Blood Diamonds and Leo. It better not suck balls. I havent seen anything of his since Catch Me If You Can, and that piece of raw sewage, The Beach.
Hope you enjoyed this mindless filler of a post, but tomorrow I ain't gonna be as busy as I is today...

You Smell Like a Winner, Jimmy!!!

There is no way this doesn't make top movie of the weekend. It is that good, people. Feel good and wacky, it was everything Ferrell wasn't in that stupid Ricky Bobby movie. And Jon Heder once again kicks ass as a young, golden maned orphan/prodigy iceskater. He kind of looked like a young Tommy Shaw at times...
Nick Swardson play an obsessed fan of Heder, and has some of the best quotes in the movie. Too bad he's not in it but a few scenes. Great supporting cast, too many people to mention!
A is the score! Yes, it was gay. Yes, it was retarded at times. Yes, Will Ferrell has to show off his horrendous physique more than I like. But geez, it was a feel good movie with lots of chuckles in it. People stopped talking when it started, everyone forgot about who was kicking their seat, or that someone was pissed that they'd just gotten kicked by them, or who was jibber jabbering too loudly. Loads of laughter, and an engrossed audience at a movie with a lighthearted message, put out in a snazzy way that kids of all ages can enjoy, that's the best way I can describe it.
By the way, Heder is Mormon. I hadn't known this before, but it makes sense. I haven't seen him in anything too naughty, and I like that. He also doesn't just play Napolean Dynamite characters, but most are good natured and usually a little naive of the wicked ways of the world. He's good at it, so deal. No one else seems to be having a problem with him, his movies do quite well in fact. I always feel I need to defend him, like I have to with other likes and dislikes. Like Sandler, or Rob Schneider, people that most are quick to slam but have no excuse for why they are so gosh darn popular.
Ok, I admit, Rob Schneider is stretching it a bit. But if you've seen European Gigolo you'd be high fivin' me like a mofo right now.
Damn, it's 2:17 am, do you know where your speed skates are?
"You're gonna need 'em to get to Sleepy's house!!!"
SLEEP DIRT...

Giving Up the Goat: No Meat Fridays!!!

Can't get any on Friday because your old lady is Catholic and has decided you must do without as she is, for our Lord and Saviour...?
Well, do what any reasonable man would when looking at a pitched tent a few minutes after 12 early early Friday...
Set the clock back twenty minutes or so.
It works too, I'm sated, she's still within the boundaries of her religion, and Lil Beavis is fast asleep yet again! The only thing I feel bad now about is lying and saying I wasn't coming back here again afterwards. But there may be others out there in a similar predicament!
"That's the longest it's ever taken you to make a sammich, boah!!!"
Ok, ok, I'll give up the goat for now, but tomorrow we shall talk of safaris...

The Pearly Gates of Heck!!!

Um... so far on vacation: Cleaned up my computer room. Masturbate like a spidermonkey. Kidding, but I did watch Turistas last night...
"Like the segway there?"
It was pretty good. Too bad I didn't see it at the theaters, but I just knew it was about extreme organ "donation."
I will never be a donor!!!
They only have a small time frame with which to work with your organs. This means they will keep your body alive as long as they can, possibly even during the operation. Fuck that. And don't even try to tell me that it is not true. I don't want to hear it. I'm not planning on taking them with me to the Pearly Gates of Hell, but the mind is still uncharted territory as far as I'm concerned. No one's last moments should be like that.
"Thus we three have united on this particular front. That which is GRAVEH hath spoken."
Turistas was fantastic movie. I give it an A. Fuck, that movie had me squirming!!! And so many dark ladies to enjoy...
This picture is what I've been doodling on for the past few days. Trippy shit...

Sandler Reigns Supreme...

I saw this with my daughter last night, the other two kids went to see the new Ninja Turtles movie instead. It's a good thing too, because they would've been hem-hawwing all the way through it, which was a hair over two hours. Although a few chuckles are in there, Sandler's posse is nowhere to be found and it turns out to be very serious fare indeed...

But the Sandman held his own quite nicely, as did the rest of the cast. Liv Tyler could just stand there with those huge ass lips and that would be enough. Jada Pinkett/Smith makes me wanna dig down deep when she wears her hair long like that too. Donald Sutherland, on the other hand, doesn't do it for me at all. I keep flashing back to Animal House where he was a teacher banging that dood's chick and there was a scene where he reaches up in the cabinet and you can see his ass and a hint of his old, gross balls!!! Yuck, dood!

A- is the score peoples naw. It is slow going, but builds nicely. Hope it made some money, but I'm rarin' to go for some Sandler schtick soon too. Chuck and Larry...

Next weekend is Blades of Glory and who knows what else. And I'm hoping to blog daily something, hell anything.

Stay tuned...

Two Shakes and a Pecker Hoot...

VACATION!!!
All this upcoming week too. I can't wait to not get up at 5:30 am every day and to take my morning dump without having to hurry the process along any. We saw The Hills Have Eyes 2 last night. It really wasn't that good but the kills were nice. Or when people fell to their deaths...
"AAAAUUUUUUUURRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!"
SPLAT!!!
Unfortunately, that's what this movie did. I didn't care much for it and gave it a C because, although it was gory, the characters were lame as fudge and the actual mutants were just plain gay. They looked like rejected ideas from Wrong Turn, or Toxic Avenger suits that had gone horribly wrong. The trailer for this had given me hope, but I was wrong. I love how the first thing a mutated hillbilly wants to do when they "git" you is cornhole the bejesus out of you!!!
"It's jes' wro-o-o-o-o-o-ng!!!"

Soon the hound of hell will be upon us. That's right, I said hound. Singular. Were there more already, we'd not even be having this conversation in the first place.
So, as you can see, I'm gonna be playing alot of Resident Evil 4 while I'm on vacation, and maybe doing a little work on the house and yard if it is nice out. Otherwise my dance card is empty. Maybe a trip to Best Buy in there, or maybe go see the new Sandler flick. I definitely wanna get my workouts done in the daytime and work on a little heat desensitization. Go out and fry a few good times to get those sweat glands tweeked for the coming summer blast. It really does work, and speeds up your metabolism too. Once you get that thing going, it's all downhill. So many people don't realize this...
"A shame, tis..."
I bet at least half the guys on Viagra wouldn't even need it if they'd do a push up or two!!! Cardio is the bomb, folks, and I haven't had an ass cramp slow my groove down in a long time. Not happy with your life? Take up a slow jog on a daily basis and get back to me, you won't be disappointed. Now I know what you wanna know next. Why are the the other half taking Viagra?
They're probably all porn stars, or aspiring. The downside to this is losing vision and I'd wager in the end, your pecker won't be worth a hoot. Or two shakes...
"My way's better, methinks..."
I'm going to some casino in Seneca, Mo in a little while. Time to roll a few and pray for heavy thundershowers...

Collage Fromage Homage...

Another medley of pictures lurking in the void. Uncle Jimbo surfaces again to take control of the nether regions using only his nether regions. Ronbone and Bobo can only watch in eager titillation.
"And anticipation..."
Of what is to come when the transformation and the coronation are complete!!! The mark of JIMBO will be upon us all by then.
"Let the Baptism of Jism begin!!!"
Yet there is another who could stop this. Would he not come forth and claim his more rightful and benevolent place among the heavens? He is of the blood of Bobo, turtlekin, and yet to be revealed in this storyline.
But soon the gears will begin to turn, setting off the mechanism for which will bring in a new era, one of wonderful tragedy and gleeful melancholy. The sound of the bones of the unworthy crunching underfoot will be sweet music to behold. A darkness will fall as to dampen even the most abundantly fueled flame.
"The Battle of Brothers has begun!!!"

Trippin' with Russ and Paco!!!

I went home sick today. Yes, the old Graveh's tummy was hurting him some so he called in his chips, packed it all up, and rode the wagontrain back out to the homestead a little early today.
"8:30 to be exact..."
I came back here and went through some more old pictures and found one of Russell, and one of Paco and I as well.
Good times!!!
The first is of Russell sitting in my parent's house out in the country. He still had hair, so this is at least around 1991. In the regular picture you can see that he is baked out of his gourd and ravenous with hunger. I still miss you buddeh!!! Keith told me he had dream about you recently: That a crowd of people were at a mysterious Jerry-Bear show and no one could see him but one person, who was also the only one standing. Letting us know you're with Jerry now. I can dig on that!

The other is Paco, somewhere in 1995. He's been accused, and even hoped, of being dead. Twice now even!!! Nice mullet, Grav'ster. I have no idea what I was thinking, and offer no excuses. Let the picture stand for what its worth...
Racial harmony!!!

Feeling the Bleu: Enjoy the View...

Bleu Graveh...
I am in the midst of cleaning out my closet and came upon a bag of pictures...
"Sidetracked again..."
I'm scanning quite a few of them and will use as stock footage in the future whenever I just don't have time to whip up a shitty looking Windows paint jobbie!
Woopety DOO!!!
I would tell you about Dead Silence but it was kind of retarded, a new millenium's Darkness Falls. Instead of looking at her, it's screaming you have to worry about. She'll get your tongue if you do. Something about silencing those who silenced her, and a bunch of other far fetched shizzle. I gave it a C-, and I think that is pretty generous. The special effects and creepiness kept it out of D range.
"And so we come to the next choice of topping to be ladled on, lovingly, to be perused by your visual palate..."

A happier time for the old Graveh? To become the Illusionist again and just... make us both disappear. Start over. Be all that I'd planned on being without the time lost. But I guess the downside would have to be something like I'd still have all the memories that drove me to this fantasy voyage in the first place.
I guess I'm just down or something. I'm feeling the Bleu more than the black and white right now.
"Can ya feel me, Clyde, can ya... feel me...?
The world is without flavor, the fever has subsided. I am anxious, yet do not know why, because I hunger for nothing. I feel unquenchable, but I have no thirst. Worse than feeling too much, I feel void of all emotion right now. The evils I could accomplish right now, the plagues I could unleash...
The fires to blaze...
And burn!
Cleanse it all by peeling away the brittle, crumbly layers of self absorption and refusal to face the things that go bump in the night, like the charred pages of a scorched book. I once wanted and had love for all things.
What is more maddening: the realization, or the wayward path I took to get to this precipice from which I now hang, one handed from? And why do I speak of it as if it means nothing to me?
I don't even feel anger over it anymore, it is more akin to throwing one's arms in the air as if in silent pleading. And looking helplessly skyward.
Ironic when it feels like I'm plummeting the other direction...
"Will I ever touch down again, let alone hit the target?"
Will I even care when I get there...?
Like I've said before, I'm wont to see this thing thru until the big show. I like fire, and how the flames howl and lick at the night. But opportunity may present itself with an unyielding enticement at a moment's notice.
"Succumb..."
I can't seem to find the right lie,
I can't seem to find the right lie,
Insanity's horse,
Adorns the sky,
Can't seem to find the right lie...

Maybe it's with the remote, under the couch...

Chilleh Billeh Say RELAX!!!

"Yessss..."
The IDOL one.
I at one time had planned on recreating that on my own Senior picture. As I was an avid pothead back then, I didn't end up having the money to do it right, so I had my friend's dad take them, at a nice and reasonable price. To this day the guy still knows exactly who I am when I call. Uncanny!
So the reason why I called ye brethren here today is to discuss what is wrong with me lately. I thought it might be the Creatine I was taking after my workouts, but it wasn't. Thank Gawd for that, I'm getting some nice bulkiness now. I then believed it might possibly be that I was working out too hard, thinking the Creatine would, falsely, make me push past my limit and just plain weaken me to the core. Once again, big fat NO. Then today I was at work and turned my head to the side and suddenly felt extremely disoriented. The tornado behind your eyes feeling is never fun. I used to have it all the time, because I smoked like a freight train and was sick alot. I had a piercing headache after that and was kind of moody and silent with everyone around me. Now I'm stricken with the sniffles. This can mean only one thing:
The damn guinea pig gave me some kind of head/sinus/cold/thingie!!!
OK, maybe it wasn't her, but I had to stay home last Friday with my son, similarly afflicted with what I have now a little. I guess the fitness and vitamins helped but in the end, deadly tobacco won out once again. I don't smoke very much but like to have them on the road or back here when on the net. It's just who I am. But I'm gonna have to stop now because I don't want to be bedridden for Spring Break coming up after this next week.

" A four headed Billeh monster, oh my gawwwd it's comin' right for us!!!"
These make great wallpapers, by the way. Tonight we are going to see Dead Silence. Shit better be good too, or there will be hell to pay. Meaning I will harumpf alot and move around all fidgety like, pissing off others in a chain reaction that will end only in tragedy for all ensnared within this web of general disdain for the film and its patronage. I will also dump out an entire one pound bag of M&M's on the floor from near the back of the theater for two reasons:
One, because it really pisses people off and yet they never seem to know who actually did it after it happens. Two, because I just... like... the noise. Should there ever be any more reason that that?
Afterwards, I will hopefully be back here to watch a bunch of DVDs I rented ealier this week and tell you all what up with the movie in postageness. Until then, you're just going to have to fucking chill...