Saturday, July 21, 2007

Chuck and Larry: The Poop on this Scoop!!!

Went to see,
Chuck and Larry.
Twas the sheez,
Lacked of cheese,
I give it an A.
Loved it, everbody was fab-tac-ulous. Nick Swardson is the bomb as the raving gay butterfly, and overall I just had a good time watching it. Can't really remember all the details but damn, Jessica Biel is fine. Sandler looked like he was in pretty good shape too, must be working out something fierce. He actually looked in better shape than Dante. So anyway...
I think I have a bad case of something because my stomach is doing somersaults in my gut area, and I'm either shitting or letting out huge farts that seem to never end. I'm sure you care to hear this, but I'm starting to wonder if it isn't something a little more serious than your average, run of the mill stomach virus. I hope its not some kind of eColi problem, because it ain't seeming to go away, and it's been three days. And my tummy really fucking hurts!!!
Sorry to use such strong language but now you see how desperate the situation is becoming. I'm also kinda dizzy at times, and anytime I eat, I'm subjected to the pains it causes until it finishes it's journey from my mouth to the bowl...
I'm also an idiot: I just got done eating some pickled jalapeno that was humongous and extremely spicy...
What else is new with me? Ummm, I was making videos, but am now stumped, and often critical in thinking back to earlier ones. Like I'm just wasting my time here.
I'm also working like a dog. I was supposed to work today but they cancelled due to some internal problem they were having. Too bad, because I need the money, and am trying to put some back on the side, so I can do some stuff.
I passed the class I was taking, by the way, I knew I did. But a few people didn't pass that I thought would, apparently more than a few failed it. Guess that makes me a freaking genius since I didn't study at all, or tab any pages, or highlight a bunch of crap needlessly, and ate while they were teaching, and showed up late a few times...
Go see the movie, you won't be disappointed. I will be here laying on the floor, writhing in agony, clutching my stomach. And looking up at the gods pleadingly...
What's next, more kidney stones?!?!?!?!?!?

Friday, July 13, 2007

Flesh Graveh McJones...

Well, not much has happened, at least that I can speak of here on this blog. There is another, but good luck finding it, it is nothing like this one. But it definitely delves much deeper...
"Onward to the next subject..."

This is Jeremiah. I met him through my wife's friend at work who was a nurse there. He is her son, but he is in a coma right now and not expected to live. It is a very sad tale, and I could've played a hand in making it an alternate reality instead. But these are just private musings on something I have no power over to alter in any way...
Everytime I saw him he was either on the upswing, or down of it. Never in between. I really did like him, but he was doing too much KOOKOO juice to be around without thinking he was gonna end up having police involved somehow. He was a fragile soul and when he'd have his shit together, he was nothing like that picture.
For some reason or another, he was getting a prescription for methodone, possibly for a neck or back injury in the past. I used to buy my weed from him, and occasionally counseled him on things he was bothered by, and what to do to change these things. He was often very depressed and enslaved by the medication fed to him by people who did not care what they were doing.
I started AA and he was intrigued at my own personal transformation, although more physical than mental.
"But that is something entirely disputable somewhere else more appropriate..."
Yes, keep to the subject...
As I've never felt comfortable sponsoring anyone, since I'm not perfectly mentally balanced by any means, I had often given him advice, and offered to take him to some meetings. He never went, but I heard he had been thinking about hooking up with me after he got out of jail this time. And that makes me sad that he didn't. It is a shame, and he has two small children who will probably grow up without a father, barring a miracle as he is on some kind of assisted breathing device now.
I had thought about him too, recently, and wondered if he'd straightened his shit out. Someone said they had gotten a divorce, he and Amanda, his wife.
So in summation, I will say he was an oddball to be sure, but if you knew how to handle him, he was actually an alright guy. Soon, although I hope and pray not, he will be returning to the earth. Another man's mental anguish will subside, to replaced by another.
"And another. And another..."
Et cetera...
With the exception of marijuana (as it is not a "drug"), I believe true drugs, including carelessly prescribed ones, have nothing in store for you but alot of bad times and eventually an early grave. I have no answers to any of life's questions and no cure all soul fixers, I am just a wayward onlooker, held captive by the travesties surrounding me.
Those fucking earthly clamors. They drown out my peaceful harmonious existence. Bad enough that I am a slave to the flesh...

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Just a quick hi, since it is very early in the morning and I haven't went to bed yet. I stayed up doing some work on ye olde blog site here...
"We likeses it, don't we?"
A reflection of its creator.
I am a simple man, and ask for very little, except possibly your undying loyalty, and whatever bits of chocolate you may have upon your person. I am also easy to please, this meaning I'd really love to hear some feedback from y'all heeyah...
"We likeses it, don't we?"
Even from the haters.
Most of the blogs I find here on blogger are either gay political wannabe's who worship Michael Moore work like it's the Bible, or they are just plain too gosh darn boring to bother with. I will admit that I came here after reading the complete blog of Kevin Underwood, the Oklahoma Blogging Kid Cannibal, which ended up being kinda pathetically lame in itself.
If I still had all my Masters of the Universe action figures today, I would dedicate a blog and many score of video to their mighty escapades. I saw the Transformers Movie this weekend so that's what brought this crazy, half moon babbling about. I never was a big fan of cars, or ones that turned into anything else. The movie was ok, but a little dizzifying in its effects and fast paced, wild angled shots.
Muthafucka gave me Taco Neck before all was said and done. I give it a C+, would've been more if they wouldn't have spent so much time trying to get the Even Stevens kid laid, and got down to some asskicknicityness!!!
John Turturro was pretty sweet as a weirdo FBI agent eerily reminiscent of Jeffrey Combs character from The Frighteners.
So back to Masters of the Universe. I hear they are actually planning a new movie, and I sure hope to hell it is an adult version, because I wanna see some serious shit go down. When they did the original, Dolph Lundgren did all he could, but special effects were just completely unable to capture what I like to call WTF, for the sake of movie magic. And adding some balls to make it rule. Also, their best bet to direct and possibly write this is someone who played with those badass toys well up into their early adult life...
Cough, cough.
Yeah, me. Well at least someone my age, because I was their target consumer when they started, and bought every little thing they put out with my hard earned lawn mowing money. He Man was the coolest, and he didn't even have THE STACHE.
He didn't need it. But he had one deep inside though...
We all got a little in us when the need calls.
Andy Dick?
Ok, well maybe not Andy Dick.
Damn, it's near 7am...

Friday, July 06, 2007

Fuzzless Bacon and the Sacrificial Lamb...

Wow hey, look at the Stingmeister go!!! That's alot of air for someone to jam to, ya know? I will treasure this night for the rest of my life...
"A dream dance, a shared romance..."
(They opened with it!!!)
I can't believe I found pics and video of it the next freakin' day!!!

I started out from home, going to pick up my rental car. It was supposed to be a Stratus again, but dammit, I ended up with an Avenger or something like that. So I drive to my friend's in Springfield to get a toke up or two, then head out to I-44. I got a call from Jay saying he was just a little farther down the road than me. I never caught him, as he was speeding, and I didn't wanna get pulled over, and possibly detained...
When I get there, the exit before mine claims that it's the exit I'm searching for. But I pass it on by. Already the sick feeling in my tummy is beginning, with good reason as I can see my exit is thoroughly backed up. It is closed when I get there, and I'm detoured into a part of town where I am painfully aware that I am now a minority...
"A hated one at that!!!"
Damn you, Mapquest!!!

I found my way in, and marveled at the awe that is Scottrade Center. It is huge, and there's a bar or two in there, among other things. Apparently the St. Louis Blues play there...
I also stopped at a few tee shirt stands, and got this one:
So I enjoyed the show, shared a few email addys with a few new friends, and headed back home, where I got terribly lost, and somehow found my way farther down the road on I-44 luckily. I hauled ass when I could, as the other Police were out in full force, snagging speeders and swervers left and right.
"My bunghole was puckered a time or two."
I hung out with my Buddeh Keithy until it was well into daylight hours, then took my dad to breakfast. Then I headed on home to finish out the rest of my week's vacation.
And toketh some more...
It has been a tough week of vacation. I hit a kid last week on a bicycle with my car and finished off a difficult class for work, among many other stressful things. I will go into these a little more in detail later, I just wanted to get this out there, before it fades from my memory.
Especially the accident with the kid. It was quite nerve wracking, and I am still unable to find out his condition, Hell I just hope he wasn't hurt too bad, if at all...
What a Police Themed vacation!!! Both kinds. The ones that make you squeal with glee, and the ones that just make you squeal.
And I don't ever wanna hit another kid, I almost didn't even go to the concert because of it. I felt really bad for awhile, the whole damned weekend, because some kid decided to dart across the street right in front of me. He's lucky I didn't kill him.
"Hell, you're lucky it wasn't your fault!!!"
That I am, that I am...
Still, if that little turd wouldn't have done what he did, I wouldn't nearly have had a coronary while I was surrounded by the fuzz.
Now when I even see a kid, I get all nervous-like and paranoid another will come flying out of nowhere. I'm pretty sure you are only allowed one hit kid in your lifetime. After that, they start with the whole pattern thing. What if you're like me though?
"Really fucking unlucky at times..."
Check out my videos I added to the right side of the blog, they are kickass, and you get to see just what the Graveh does in his spare time...
Besides toke, and pummel kids with his car!

Monday, July 02, 2007

Don't Thand Tho Clothed to Me!!!

I had planned an in depth look into the life and times of the Idol one, but since I'm pressed for time, I will just say my goodbyes, and head my way on out the door, merrily humming the melody to De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da. I will be seeing them later tonight in St Louis, and I can't wait. They didn't have the right car at the rental place, so I will be driving an Avenger instead of a Stratus. They claim they aren't made anymore. Too bad, I loved the shit outta them!!!
Tho, here we go then, I'm off to thee the withard!!!
Thankth guyth, I'll thee ya later...
More to come on this, when I return, hopefully with some kickass pictures to share. No horror stories tho...