Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Whatever, Now Suck It Up...

So I blew off the Subway deal. I'm just too stressed to mess with it. I do still wish death upon that horrible cow who pissed/ripped me off. In the end, what is the point anyway?!?!?
"Things happening."
On the cusp?
Always hoping. Somewhere, sometime, someday I have to do more than plot and scheme your impending dooms. I'm tired of being bi polar.
I want to love all of you instead of wanting to rip your throats out with my bare teeth.
And please hurry up and pass the whole medicinal marijuana crap so I can enjoy life in peace.
I feel like when I don't have some sort of head change then I'm loathing every minute of everyone else's miserable existence.
"Phooey on all of ye!!!"
Kidding. I'm not that full of hate. Sometimes, not always.
Do you not think I want to skip through flowers and sleep lazily in the grass while the sun bathes me in its warmth?
OK, not anything that lame, but I'd be happy with some sort of ooomphf, some sort of gusto.
By the way, movies seen lately: Our Idiot Brother, disappointing girly crap - C-.
Bucky Larson, had funny parts but lame as well - C+.
Final Destination 5, not bad and ended up a prequel nicely. Too bad they got the formula wrong for staying alive. Didn't they see the other films?
Oh yeah, twas a prequel and they didn't have a Delorean...
Solid B.
Transformers 3, not bad but missing Megan Fox, WTF?!?!?
B as well.
Now back to my life...
"Oh joy..."
Zzzzzzzzzzzz, here we go again.
Tried the new Ben & Jerry's Schwetty Balls. Had chocolate covered rum balls in it, so gross. I'd rather be teabagged by Ron Jeremy in July... in the Sahara no less!!!
That's about it for now. I need a new pc, I've been using my kid's laptop and I hate it. I have a pc but it's near dead. I need my command central, I need my magic porn box.
Now look at my post picture and feel the love.

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Blacked Out Forest...

So I flipped out on a chick that worked at Subway today...
Let me, uhhhh... set the scenerio.
I had a rough day at work. I had been forced to sit through a two hour thangie where they tought us to deal with stress. Breathing exercises, all that jazz...
Some stuff I'd actually been taught back in the 70's in elementary school, flexing individual muscles one at a time and then releasing, starting with your feet and working all the way up to your brainpan.
Sure, it's all good for short term release.
Yes, even your butt.
Stuff from 1967, it even had the date at the bottom, lol. Forty four years old, if you can believe that. I'm even starting to get grey hair, how can even I expect to be taken seriously?!?!?
"Don't even think I'm even coming close to coming near the end."
Coming? Butts? Bottoms, even ENDS?!?!?
Yeah, I know. Ignore them, and they will eventually go away I tell myself. They even did, for awhile, if you can be bothered to backcheck my schnizz...
So, after a day of eating shit at work, as usual...
I go to a local Subway, to ease the pain of existence... with a footlong.
I finally decide to deviate from the norm and order the $5 footlong of the month, a turkey breast and black forest ham on wheat. I do so love wheat bread...
"He deviates further and orders bacon on top of it all."
So bold, so... decadent.
I had actually made smalltalk, and succeeded, and had won over the heart of the chick making my delicious sammich...
As she began beginning a new sammich for the next guy, she had planned toasting his as she added the scrumptuous toppings to mine, a Jabba the Hutt type girly girl waddled out in search of I-dunno-what-the-fuck began pulling on her sammich making gloves ever so slowwwwwwly...
I told her what I wanted: Everything, no pickles, no olives.
Yes, I'm violently allergic to pickles, thanks mom for giving me Roladin. That, and painful stomach cramps I never told you about in the middle of the night.
I tell her that, yes, I want all the sauces. Mayo, Ranch, Chipotle, hot mustard, and vinegar and oil. She replies assholishly that I must really like my sauces.
I can feel the chip on her shoulder. She hated me before this cat and sammich game began.
Then I handed her my debit card...
"I will not continue tonight."
I actually blacked out during the whole shi-bangle...
To be fucking continued...