Saturday, November 28, 2009


No feeling. No feeling. No feeling for anybody else, except for myself. My beautiful selfish...
Your daddy's gone away, be back another day. See his picture hanging on the walllllllll...
I think it takes a special breed to...
Not give a fuck. Soon I will be one of those. I want to do things like jumping out of a plane. The only problem will be whether or not I will pull the ripcord.
Although I always saw myself dying by fire, or electricity. Or an electrical fire...
I'm indestructible, or I'm the Terminator.
Come with me if you want to live.
Gawd save the Queen.
Potential H bomb.

Monday, November 23, 2009

When a Plan Comes Together...

Yeah, he could use some serious eyebrow trimming action. I know this. He knows this.
I just got back from seeing Couples Retreat. Of course everyone ends up in danger of splitting, but in the end they all find what it was that they'd lost: each other.
Another message to listen to, to be wary of things...
Ehhhh. Real life isn't like this. It is bitter, and vengeful. It is spiteful , it is...
Just bullshit. Everything that we are fed, it is just some bogus fantasy where we tell ourselves that the whole point of being isn't just to end up in misery. Stuck. I go to work and I see everyone pairing up. It amazes me that people get mad when you talk to the person they're messing around with there. I always tell them if they have a problem, I can take it up with their wife instead. I don't care anymore as far as all that is concerned.
I don't ever want to play that wierd game, be part of all that. I'm not even sure what I'm trying to say. Now I don't even want to talk about any of it.
I still feel deep waves of who knows what the fuck but now it doesn't seem to pitch me as far down, or maybe I'm just numb and used to it. When I can forget it isn't so bad. It is just the times that I'm forced to remember...
So Couple's Retreat was decent. I had a few chuckles, and overall it wasn't too bad. I give it a B.
I posted on the Chiefs before, and had planned on going somewhere to watch the game. By the time I got everyone ready, they were losing. We went anyway, and miraculously they pulled it out. A win in overtime is still a win, and against the Superbowl Chumps no less.
Sorry Big Ben. Sleepytime, she comes...
That made me feel better. My team is on a two game win streak.
So one more day of work and it's turkey time. I know I keep saying it, but it is time to get back to where I was. Forget all the crap, focus. Focus. Focus.
No distractions.
No one fucking up my plan.

Wait, what plan...?
Where's Hannibal when you need him?
Instead I get Mr. Peepers.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Sparkle Suck...

I think I understand the true meaning of it all, but it doesn't make anything easier. Or take the sting out of it...
Runaway trains usually tend to run out of track at some point, or hit something hard and unyielding. Then it is time to sift through the wreckage. Any survivors...?

Nothing is left now but silent screams. The licking of the wounds would be the next logical step, though logic has had little to do with the mess up to this point.
I saw New Moon. It sucked as bad as Twilight. I had to go home and shower off the GAY when it was over. Sparkly vampires, indeed...
Now, onto other things: erm... ahhh... ummm...
Hopefully Kansas City will not get donkey punched by Pittsburg today. They were up a touchdown, but are losing by 3 now. If they pull off the upset, I will do several things I need to do with more enthusiasm. This is the promise I now make to myself.
I wish there was a happy button. I would never take my finger off of it.
But then again, if I did that it might not feel so special. I guess shit has to suck part of the time.
Go figure...

Friday, November 20, 2009

I'm almost done mourning, I'm almost done hardening my heart one last time. It is a fucking cat and mouse game, isn't it?
You want, others want, and then everybody wants. I'm torn between being self deluded and being semi right. Who knows which is which in this crazy, mixed up world...?
All I know is I've fallen farther than I've ever fallen before. If I come out of this alive I will be less than I was if that makes sense.
The only way us to conform, or die fighting it all. Nothing changes, when you sweep out the cobwebs, it begins anew. Blah blah blah.
I'm tired of talking, I want action. Blah blah blah, who cares right?

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Glub, Glub, Glub...

I had alot of trippy shit to say on my blog, then got baked and spaced out looking for a picture to accompany it.
I am home alone tomorrow. What shall we do?
"XBOX 360, RE5 perhaps...?"
A lil hund'rd proof?
Something better. I'm about to be off to a jr. high football game, which is going to be lame as fuck. Not as bad as watching two chicks play pool, but still.
As far as in personal life, I'm numb. But this weed is pretty stiff stuff, because it sure brings back the flavor at times. More like a boyish innocence occasionally makes its way to the surface, bobs a few times, then goes back under for a bit.
Or living, perhaps...?
What were the sounds of a drowning man again?
You tell me, I don't want to remember.
Switch on the globe. Darken the room and put some trippy lights on it.
I don't want to look at myself anymore. I want distraction.
I will have it...