Would Mike Tyson Have Made a Great Fat Albert Character, Or What...?!?

Lispses, and lipses. Juicy mouthedness, for good measure...
(Sorry, listening to Mike Tyson on Stern, on Youtube, like the boss I is)
Wow, I had a picture of Colin Hay set up for today's post, then I remembered I'd saved a picture of mein friend. He is definitely not having the time of his life right now. Sadly, there was a time, back in the day, where I'd told him to come down here and live with me. We were both pre-married at the time. He should've listened to me. Who knows? It might have turned out worse.
I haven't drank a drop since New Year's Eve, he hasn't stopped drinking since, until he ended up in the pokey. Now I know why his old lady went back to her old name, and why she didn't seem keen to let me know what up. His cousin told me he was in jail, then I looked him up. Domestic, hmmm...
He looks like he got the worst of it all. Poor guy, he's like my brother. The last time I talked to him, he seemed about ready to get his shit together.
Guess I'll find out all in good time, but he never should've hooked up with a chick that's in her late 50's. She's got 20 years experience more than you, of fucking overs and such. He also quit his job on the same Eve, so he was pretty much living off of her. Some serious shit went down, to be sure, I just don't have a clue what it is/was. Maybe he wanted her to dye her bush...
So gross. Never liked her. Garshhhh, hope she never reads this, by the way.
She always was all up in our phone business. Anyhoo...
Sorry, buddy. Hope you get squared away.

Watched the new Star Trek. I liked it, I just had to let the original go. Things were changed up, and some things were switched up. I can accept the new everything, it's just a whole new beast.
Too bad it knocked Iron Man 3 off its lofty perch. It's all about timing.
A-. New Spock still weirds me out. He has a little Paul Stanley going on with those lips.
He also runs like a girl. Surprise...
Will there be a third? Can we still swing it all around so's we can chill with the dolphins in the fourth?
They also carry the same cool camp vibe as the original.
I miss Montalban's Khan, though, and where's those badass little sand slugs they put in Chekov's ear that made him scream like a bitch?!?
Less than the origina, I'd say, but still pretty nice. See it, fools.
Ok, then. I have kinda petered out a bit on posting, but I'm going to find more time to bore the shit out of no one in particular.
Last month I was a posting beast.
RAWR.
Time for some Children's Hospital and iPhone Scrabble, or whatever the fuck they call it.
Peace, nerds.

Smurf It Up, Fuzzball...

Ugh. Got time for a bitch fit?
Just kidding. I'm not going to waste anyone's time with that noise. Besides, it could go on for days.
WTF is wrong with everybody? It seems the world gets crueler and meaner every time I step foot all up in it.
Right now it is as if I'm surrounded by extreme dick wheels on a 24/7 basis. I just wanna chill. I just wanna...
I am sooooooooooooooooooo dragging my heels on actually working out.
I'm actually keeping a pretty lean looking body, it just needs to get the dormant muscles in there pumped back up. I just have no energy, and you all keep sucking my very soul out of me.
Please stop.
I guess it is all just a thing that gets better over time, gradually. I'm just an impatient son of a bitch. I likes it all now.
All or none.
Saw Iron Man 3 the other day. It was wayyyyy better than the others. I can't wait for Thor 2 and Captain America 2. So many awesome movies to come out semi soon. Kick Ass 2, le sigh...
I have had such a hard time lately enjoying anything, or feeling that excitement for something not yet obtainable, but soon will be. I will say I did laugh my balls off a few times watching some Howard Stern interviews from Youtube on my bigscreen. It's good to know I can still laugh, I wasn't sure if I could there for awhile unless it involved someone else's misfortune.
I wish I had interesting stuff to talk about. I feel bad for anyone who actually might...
Ehhhh, who am I kidding?
LOLZ!!!
Wahh blah blahhhh with a woopsy diddle doodly-ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Sometimes, of late, I will actually feel somewhat like my old self and zing it up on the internet google box machine. I'm like, "Damn, I'm superwitty and fly tonight. What up with me?"
Then some asshole will swoop in and try to cut my legs out from underneath me. They never do, of course, but it still waylays momentum.
The meetings are also getting superweird. People are so hateful, yet the most devoted sheeple when called upon to speak. Alot of people I have no idea who the fuck they even are, and a few of them are trying to grapple with the wrong hombre.
Do not try to get crazy with esai.
Don't you know I'm loco?!?

Derpa Durr...

I had to give someone the old heave ho on Facebook yesterday. She was actually my second cousin or something like that. No biggie, as her posts consisted of her with a mohawk, or other white trashy whatever.
I mentioned something about Halloween H2O sucking, and she freaked out on me.
I gave her some whatfer, then blocked her.
End of story. Weird, though...
Anyhoo, just sitting around watching stuff online. Just finished a big, healthy bowl of black eyed peas, peppered up with a few splashes of Tapatio. I'm really losing the flabby patches, now hoping the skin cinches up as quickly as possible.
Guess my Dad went into the hospital today for his blood pressure. He's not being admitted, so that must mean good. I hope he's ok, I'm thinking about shooting on up there for the day tomorrow, not sure yet.
That would suck more than anything. I always hate thinking about losing anyone/everyone I love. I'd so much rather go before. Loss. Couldn't deal with it. I am the worst at it/with it.
Anyway...
The weather is shitty, we actually had snow. It didn't stick, of course, but geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez.
The end is nigh, the end is nigh!!!
Is it? Who knows?
Sometimes, I would openly welcome it, selfishly.
I'm probably not really even near that brave.
For all any of us know, I might be be grovelling on the floor, all snot bubbles and shit.
I sooooooo wish I were rich as fuck. I don't want to burn through it, or anything. I just want to be that weird, reclusive guy that likes shit he ordered online delivered discreetly, and promptly.
Fuck Seth McFarlane, with his lame ass IMAX BS.
I would love to have some state of the art recording studio with any and all instruments you could ever want to learn and play. I can already bang around on some drums, strum a little geetar, and fiddle around on some keyboards. I would love making music even if no one in the world ever wanted to hear it. I bet it would be pretty dang sweeet, though. Back up, chief...
I guess I may be seeing Iron Man 3 this weekend, maybe, depending on how my Dad is. Wondering if it'll be as boring as the other two...
Hurry up, Captain America and Thor. I need those sequels, preferably sans Downey Jr.
Nor Sammy J.
Later taters...

Gibb It Alls You Gots...

Hey peeps...
Getting in one last post before the month ends. I'm also about to get a serious wake and bake going on up in heeyah. I just cleaned my heavily clogged pipe, and wow.
Great balls of goo-ness!!!
Ok, now that I've cleared my own pipes out, so to speak, I will get right down... to it.
So I'm sitting here off from work for the day. Feeling kind of melancholy, I go to my old Facebook page. I saw that Vampire Wars is no longer around. How sad...
And to see that those in the world who once you interacted with are gone, or moved on to bigger and better things...
I saw an old girlfriend who I'd dated back in '93-'94 has either gotten engaged or married. I'm not all sad and wishing anything, trust me. She had gotten ahold of me back in '10, hoping to bring me back to the fold(s)...
She would send me naughty pics, and then started sending me videos of herself playing with her cooter.
She also talked about how she'd never forgotten about me, and that she'd searched for me for years, even waited at my old work at finishing time to try to catch me. Whether that's true or not really doesn't matter. I felt nothing for her at the time. Then I met someone else shortly after online...
A tragically mistimed catastrophe, twas.
I have seemed to have alot of those through time. Why? Is it due to pussyfooting around?
I...
Have this sort of mistrust of people, I guess. Like: What would/could you possibly be doing with me, if not to make me love you and give my all to you so you can shred me into tiny confetti pieces and blow them off of your open palm into the nothing, the void, the...
Someone has pissed on my kindling, and it refuses to spark.
Sometimes I just want it all to be rainbows and shit, just like the rest of you, and skipping, and feeling the pull of wanting to know what's around the next corner...
Sometimes I just want death.
Sometimes I just want riches, and baubles, and could care less if there were anyone there to share it with...
Sometimes, though, I rap meekly on the glass, hoping to catch someone's, or anyone's, eye, or interest...
Maybe I give up too soon, or do not rap loudly enough. Maybe I'm thinking it would be nice if someone said, "Hey, Ronnie's outside, and it's rainy and stormy as fuck out there!!!"
But such is my paranoia. Even if I saw you clearly mouth these wordly words, I'd swear up and down you never did. Who knows, maybe you verbalized your hopes that I'd be carried away by a swift current and dashed against some hard, and preferably pointy, surface.
Does a scar really help the healing, or does it just numb that area to further and future prodding?
At the mo-mo I can no longer feel the loving embrace, nor want of this.
There is no thrill for the hunt, nor salivations for the tender sweetness of the kill, nor the bloated gloat of the blissfully ignorant...
Only the gut wrench of the ever tightening noose I've so willingly slipped into.
Hey, where you going? Crosshairs back over on me, please...
Anyhoo, enough of that.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flF5aU1iZFo
I wonder what is worse: the fall, or the splat, or the eventual crawl out of the mud?
Or to have never bothered to take the leap?

Do animals know heartache and loss?
Anger and ire?
Burning desire?

Guess what, folks. That's right, the cleft in my chin is back. I was noticing it today whilst taking my kid to school. I just need to get my lazy bootay back in the gym. I have a seven day pass to World Gym, so ehhhh, we'll see. I do like being skinny again, it is just really hard to be all energetic and shit. I will continue the running, once I start it of course, but I'd like to take up a little boxing, especially the training. Not sure if that is something that'd conflict with trying to bulk up or not. We'll see.
Shampooed my carpets all day yesterday. Looks super awesome, I just love laying on it and sniffing deeply. You could eat off it, but I'd be like, "WTF are you doing eating off of my floor, I just spent all day cleaning that shit, you fucking moron?!?"
I mean, wouldn't you?
Ok, well that was enough wah wahhhhhhing for now.
Hoping to have a new desktop semi soon so's I can start doing way cooler shit up in the internet google box machine. I'm so out of touch online nowadays.
Gotta go. Nothing witty to end with.
Later, turd burglers...

Hi Y'all...

 Bet you can't guess what I've been watching with the commentaries on?
The original, the one, the only...
Well, actually the digitally remastered ones with added stuff. I've already pretty well finished that up, but I'm debating on whether or not I want to watch the three Star Wars movies untouched or not, sans commentary this time. I do love Star Wars so much. I can't imagine any guy anywhere near my age not loving it.
There is one guy married to a chick I work with that tried to pretend he knew his shit.
Truth is, he didn't even actually know when Empire came out in the theater. I, however, remember the day we stood in line to get our tickets for the next weekend. It shaped my future self, along with a few other good ones we won't get into right now. But the day my mom took us to see Star Wars in '77 was a game changer. We also saw the re release, heck I've seen it every time it has come out on the big screen.
Of course Empire Strikes Back will forever be the greatest of them all. I do believe from the end of the '70's through the 80's were the best time to grow up so far, bar none.
Things weren't yet overcluttered with CG thingstuffs and digital video, things being shot with 3D not only in mind, but clouding every otherwise sound decision...
I also heard they are delaying further 3D versions of whats they gotses so far. Boo to that. It is because they are seriously focusing all they got on Episode 7.
I can live with that, but I need to see 4-6 superbaked and coming at me at some point.
And the new ones must be not so geared to the kiddies, please. Empire was the perfect blend of it all. I was watching Return of the Jedi last night, and the scene in Jabba's court with the dancing and singing was cringe worthy. Empire. though, does it right. Enough on that, though we all know I'll return soon enough to the scene of the so called...

Crizznizz.
So her Cindi and I are. I know, my eyes look sooooooooooo baggy. I also seem to scream out "chemo patient stoned out of his gourd", but I assure you: no chemo here.
Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, good sir.
Also, Dr. Evil be poking his peepers out from the betwixts of my hoodie's zipper, and my kid duck facing it for the camera...
Not much else going on, other than getting ready to veg out in front of the big screen. Things are much better today in the today of today. I feel very good, on the cusp of complete recovery of my mojo, my stamina, my get-up-and-go-go-juiciness.
I'm good. Looking way better than this picture, by the way. Anyhoo, I is donesies for the night.
I'm going to continue my inane chatter here on a more frequent basis, for no in particular I'm guessing...

For Those About to Toke, We Salute You...

Hey now...
Just got back from watching Identity Theft again. Still funny. You just can't help but love Jason Bateman.
I know I can't. I wanted to see Oblivion, but probably tomorrow now.
It's all good. I'm a bit semi under the weather, with a touch of Labyrinth Ear, so I'll probably be seeing a doctor soon. It feels like a tornado behind my eyes whenever I turn my head in any direction too quickly.
You'd think it'd be trippy, but it taint...
Anyhoo, not much going on. I worked at a few places, had a few verbal scrapes. Well, none of the blood shed was meins...
I also still go hang out at meetings, but I'm just not seeming to fit into the IT CROWD. Like I wanna...
A bunch of people white knuckling it all the time crying out for GAWD, faking it. I also don't see how someone can screw up their life, let alone stay drunkish, on beer.
Beer tastes like pee. Guess it makes sense since most of them are dickheads. I think deep down most of them aren't mentally capable of really getting it. They think it's some kind of social event where you kiss the ass of the elders for their approving nods. Mostly weak minded truth stretchers, the stories they tell aren't even worth the lie. I think if I'd ever whacked anyone on the streets, I wouldn't divulge that information to a bunch of people who couldn't keep their mouths shut to save their lives. I rarely talk in there. No one needs to know my shit, and I really don't have much to say other than that I'm pretty much ok. So back off...
I guess they got the last of the Boston idiots. I'm glad he's alive so they can torture every last bit of info out of him. Hopefully it will involve stuff going in his wizened pee hole...
I was bothered by the chanting of U.S.A. by the throngs of onlookers, and many waving flags. It felt like they were trying to recreate the whole 9/11 thangie, something new to focus on and run into the ground.
I did love how liberal halfwits were eager to blame right wing conservative Christians, then had to eat their words...
Which none of the ones I know personally haven't done yet, and I doubt they ever will.
Fuck them anyway. Conspiracy theories and all...
Wow, I forgot it is now 4/20. Time to hit that bizzong. Peace out...

My Preciousssss..... (So Far.)(A Draft)

A draft from the past...



I posted a shorter version of this in an earlier post, not sure if I will delete it or not so here is a full minute's work so far...

"We likeses itssssss...."

Yesssssssss...

I put in a toilet this weekend all by my lonesome, and today some dood put in a new sink and all the underbelly stuff. It was being held together by rust, and calcium deposits. The important thing is...

"It's done!!!"

You guys said a mouthful, now shut up and check out the video I've been working on so far. It's a little on the trippy side...

Shakin' All Over...

Haven't we all nearly done a Vince Taylor?
I have; sans fame, fortune, and poontang...
In the midst of a four day weekend, I am. I seem to have tweaked my back again a little, however. I would very much like to fix this regular problem. It's been sore for awhile now, but this morning I reached down to pick something up off the floor and felt it nearly give out.
Yeeeeeooowwwwccccchhhhhhhhhh!!!
Went to visit some chick we knew way back in the way back. She is dying from cancer, most likely within a few days. I was never a fan due to her loudness and general sluttiness. She also liked to see others' lives around her as miserable as hers was. She eventually cleaned up, and found Jesus Christ Monkeyballs...
I guess I can let it all slide, I felt somewhat bad when I saw how she had deteriorated. She couldn't even move her body other than her head, she was also already deaf in one ear. Sad, I know. I'd rather die at home, not at some depressing place that's like a transit station for those who are ready to give up the goat.
Or do that skydiving thang, and possibly forget to open the chute...
Ehhhhhh, just weirdness. Not sure how to feel about it all, so I mask my uneasiness with vaudeville.
I have been superlucky to never really ever lose anyone I actually care about and love. I also don't really dole out said love to just every Tom, Dick, and Hairy Pair of Testicles.
It makes you wonder the point of it all. In the end, isn't it all just sadness and parting? Seeing it all rot away to nothing? Loss?

LEATHER AND CHAINS...
GOD DAMNED VAIN!!!
NEVER SEE HIS LIKES AGAIN...

It's enough to give a fella the shimmies, and possibly even the shakes.
All over even...