Monday, October 28, 2013

Vroom Vroooooooom...

I'm on vacation this week. Yay for me!!!
However, I do seem to be waxing wistfully this morning. I feel like a guy hitching his way into the next heart, so I can ravage, pillage, and then toss it all to the side of the road as I speed off in your sweeet new ride.
That's right, I'm a baller of the worst kind...
 What's that, you say? Having trouble staying awake on your long venture out into the big bad world?
I will keep you on more than just your toes, young ladyfriend. Hell, you may even come out of this with shell shock...
Let alone the heebie jeebies from the kind of shit I shall put you through. Blah blah suck it.
In the end I will flash my Jim Morrison-esque smizzle dizzle, and all will be well once again. Well, once you scrape yourself off the pavement.
Actually, none of this is true. I will graciously receive said ride, muster up enough small talk to not make it all completely awks, and then will slink out when I reach as far as you will let me get.
All that stuff we see in the movies, so fucking silly. Yeah, June Carter nursed old Johnny back to health, and staved off Lucifer's advances...
What a load of malarkey. Everyone in this world is out for themselves. Starter project, my ass. Fixer uppers...
Got something?
Well, you better believe someone wants it, and not just to use/share it with you. They want to take it away, and probably give it to some other douchebag. Fuck you, world.
Ok, so in other news: my beloved CHIEFS are 8-0. They beat the Cleveland Browns, barely, yesterday. I do so hope they can go to, and win, the Superbowl. I need this. I deserve this.
The Missouri Tigers found a way to lose in double overtime this weekend, ending their undefeated run. I saw they slid from #5 to #9. Could've been worse, but at least they're doing wayyyyyyy better than last year.
The St. Louis Cardinals are also tied up in the World Series. Hope they win, they're always the tits in my book.
What else? The Walking Dead is almost halfway through their opening run of 8. Lots of thangs going on, hoping it'll all get clearer soon. Too much drama, not enough smashing. Please tell me it's not going to be like that if it ever comes?
I want to bash and smash my way through, not have to get all feely with a chick that'll probably get wasted before I even get to hit it and make her hate my guts...
Ugh, not in a good mood today, but do I ever post when it's not all gloom and doom?
I just don't care to get to know any of you anymore. You interrupt my shit, and cause me to have to recalibrate my shit.
I want a coma, or maybe even just a blow to the back of the head to put a nigga down once and for all.
I want to be loved and left alone.
I want you to touch me, but only my private naughty jungle of love, then get the fuck out.
I want you to make me a sandwich, but I don't want you to make it the way you make it. I want you to make it with your feet whilst on fire and juggling machetes.
I want you to succeed at failing and fail at succeeding.
I want to know what I want, though I have no fucking clue as to what it might even be...
Is it bigger than a breadbox?
In the end nothing I feel was mentioned in this post. Everything I have attempted to convey, however feebly, has gone awry. It is now officially a bust. Maybe someday I'll be somewhat witty again, occasionally even downright almost funny. But that day is not today. I doubt tomorrow will be much different.
Someone give me money, loads of it.
And a really fast car for the big getaway...

Friday, October 25, 2013


Hey diddle diddle, folkie folks.
Just thought I'd touch base with y'alls about some stuff that's been done going on round these here parts.
Actually, I just thought it'd be nice to post happy for once. I've had a nice day today, and thus begins a week away from work, one that will be spent getting the toke on, and maybe hooking the Gamecube up to the bigscreen TV. And not changing clothes for a whole week...
Kidding as I love to shower too much for that kind of shenanigans. Anyhoo...
I need to sse how/where I can score a butt ton of blu-rays to devour all by my lonesome. Commentaries, yay!!!
Wish I had some high quality tranquilizers for the week, though. Maybe some Darvocets like they gave me when I had strep way back when.
Ugh, I should be spending all this free time working out, but hey, at least I'm getting pretty thin. I just need to beef it up again in places and finish burning up the last of the fat. I look damn fine at the mo-mo.
Well dang. I gotst to go fetch mein childling from his work.
Could've been a longer post, but are you gonna do?
Fire me?

Thursday, October 24, 2013


 As I begin this posting, I laugh at the fact that So Alive is playing on my youtube faves. Didn't actually plan that is all I'm saying folks...
So we saw You're Next tonight. Wow, I was extremely pleasantly surprised. It wasn't without minor quibbles, but I really liked it. I will only quickly run through them: The blender scene was very out of place. If you're going to get all experimental with the kills, then don't just do the one. The other kills were more brutal, less pizzazz. Also, turn around sometimes, people. Everytime nearly, is all I'm saying...
I'm giving this one a high B+.
Anyhoo, onto different topics. Look at Han, for instance. WTF, brah?!?
Strange day at work, people doing weird shit, blah blah blah. Traffic making me want to exit my car and enter someone in a not very chill way. Even Facebook is getting all awks with me.
Call the exterminator, I've got ants in the pants...
Vacation next week. I want to get superbaked and skeet skeet skeet all over this bliggity blog whilst alone, not wasting all my brain farts in the elsewheres. Maybe I'm just ready to get away from all you people. I'm tired of hearing your breaths, and breathing in your noxious aromas. Do people not smell themselves?
I do so hate literally crossing paths with people. I hold my breath, and you have to do it for a few seconds or so because it always lingers. Salami, like a bad sammich.
I do not smell like this. I use several thangs, not to cover up, but to enhance, yeahhhh.........
Seriously, though. My scent is not to overpower you, to cause the eyes to water, but to bring you in deeper. I want you to chase it, as if to almost salivate.
Unless you're a dood, then my flavor is strictly FUCK OFF...
Change the channel now, please. What's this?
Dr. Phil says, "You need to get control of your life!!!"
Boredom. No Judge Judy?
Wonder what will happen when we die?
Will we be free to wonder in the past, or doomed to see the rotted fruits of our labours strewn about, worm laden and hole ridden? Yuckeh...
A coma?
Fitting that the song that comes on now is a Depeche Mode song.
Fantabulous mix, by the way.
Wish I had more entertaining things to type at you, but this is about as good as it gets. I try to just let it flow, but I think the pipes are clogged up. Cobwebs?
I wonder.

Friday, October 18, 2013

Kai-JU, Mother Brother...

I watched a Russell Simmons thang that was on Netflix last night. The subtitles were on, and I was too lazed/glazed to fix it. It ended up being pretty funny. They let you know when it was time to laugh, along with letting you know just how darn funny twas...
I liked it, but mostly for the impressions. His Chinese is hilarious. Speaking of not which, I'm watching some special features stuff from Pacific Rim. It amazes me that the hot Asian chick speaks so well in the movie, but on these documentaries she is a constant FAIL. Like it matters, I'd be all over that. Who cares if she sounds like Ms. Swan?
Damn, now I wish I'd put a picture of her so it won't seem so cryptic. Anyhoo, boredom, but at least I'm off work on another Friday. Like I said earlier, I'm watching all the crap from Pacific Rimjerb, and getting superbaked doing thusly. So, in about two hours I will get myself to a meeting, and blah blah bippity blah. More coffee, basically...
Kaiju? Are there other movies and thangies out there? I liked the movie immensely, I found myself chuckling evilly from time to time, but mostly rooting for the monsters. I guess I'll have to get read up later on the whole subject. Urrrgghhhhhh, I no longer feel into this post. WTF?!?
I'm all antsy in the pantsy right now. I do realize I could be at work instead, so I'm thankful for that. I just wish I was privy to something, anythang...
All from the comfort of mein own chillastic couch.
Trying to get a motherfucking scholarship up in this bitch.
Coming muy pronto:
Me melting slowly into the sofa as Del Toro commentates his latest masterpiece...
And thinking of some Long John Silver's.

Friday, October 11, 2013

Spark and Wildfires...

On the way home from somewhere, I was pondering...
As I often do.
Some deep relationship with everyone in the universe kind of stuff, as well as on the more personal level.
Deep, twas. but I'm too lazy to hammer that all out now.
Sparks turning into wildfires, and how the cold dampness of harsh reality comes in to snuff the flame before it can...
You know how it all turns out, or is meant to, right?
Anyhoo, boredom and gloom and doom.
Not working today, and a half day yesterday, due to government shutdown. Planning on watching something on blu-ray after I get back from something in a bit, not sure what. I'm currently listening to Bob Saget blurt out some cray cray.
Walking Dead this weekend. Can't wait. This, and the Chiefs making K.C. proud...
Loving my Sundays for awhile. Hell, with the Missouri Tigers doing well, and the St. Louis Cardinals kicking ass, my whole damned weekend is blissful.
See? I'm easily pleased. Get with the picture, folks.

Friday, October 04, 2013


Can anyone here in the void guess what music video this is from? The only hint is that it starts with bells.
Wonder if, as I scroll down through my life hopefully many years in the thither, I will even remember what it was exactly myself. I will probably be all like, "Who the fuck are those people, and where is my pudding?!?"
So I will never tell...
Anyhoo, not doing anything tonight. I was planning to go see a movie, but ehhhh.............
Mmmmm, some frozen Reese's Pieces do sound good, though. Me wantses. Must eatses.
We needses...
Kind of hungry now. I had Subway earlier when I got home. Admittedly, it was a foot long, but that was like at 5. It is now 10:30pm, so suck it.
Say cheese, baby.
So I'm waiting to get paid, hopefully the government will get their shit together. WTF?!?
Not sure, but we may be getting a settlement from them anyhoo, so if it is true, then it'd take a bit of the sting out of it. A few thousand or three would be nice, but no need to hold back.
Let it rain, bitches.
Ha, I forgot I was blogging for a bit. Went outside with the dog, smoked a cigarette, all that.
Now I'm all out of steam. I hear music, and stupidity abounding. I would like to snack out on something special, and then conk out. Doesn't look like that's going to happen...