Sunday, January 01, 2012

Happy New Year...

I can see it. I can totally see it:
A new life that doesn't involve bullshit. I just need to not be afraid of it. I wikll do this now. I will do this now. It's not like I want to find someone new, that may, or may not, come later. I do not care anymore. I've had brushes with greatness: Lori, I'd have been lucky as shit to almost have you. As it is, I will have nothing. I guess that is fine, the way behind me is strewn with the corpses of all that i've lost and left behind.
The way ahead is hopefully not like that. I'm already emotionally not available, this just makes it worse, or better.
I want to be free to make my own mistakes, not clean up after someone else's.
Below is someone else who has crossed paths with the dreaded beast.
This would be totally worth it, if it ends the tale that was never meant to be told.
I wanted to be left alone, and now I want to be left alone.
Leave me alone. You only lie to me. You only lie. Everyone only lies to me.
"And lies..."
Once I have attained beauty again, I will not be stoppable. OK, maybe sometimes to myself, but that is it. Other than what I think, the rest of you can just go straight away and fuck off.
Grow a beard and shut it all off. I will win.
Oh, yes...
"He surely will."
Today, the other guy wins. He punches, or gets out. He's tired of punching, he's ready to get out...