Chuck and Larry: The Poop on this Scoop!!!

Went to see,
Chuck and Larry.
Twas the sheez,
Lacked of cheese,
Yesterday,
I give it an A.
Loved it, everbody was fab-tac-ulous. Nick Swardson is the bomb as the raving gay butterfly, and overall I just had a good time watching it. Can't really remember all the details but damn, Jessica Biel is fine. Sandler looked like he was in pretty good shape too, must be working out something fierce. He actually looked in better shape than Dante. So anyway...
I think I have a bad case of something because my stomach is doing somersaults in my gut area, and I'm either shitting or letting out huge farts that seem to never end. I'm sure you care to hear this, but I'm starting to wonder if it isn't something a little more serious than your average, run of the mill stomach virus. I hope its not some kind of eColi problem, because it ain't seeming to go away, and it's been three days. And my tummy really fucking hurts!!!
Sorry to use such strong language but now you see how desperate the situation is becoming. I'm also kinda dizzy at times, and anytime I eat, I'm subjected to the pains it causes until it finishes it's journey from my mouth to the bowl...
I'm also an idiot: I just got done eating some pickled jalapeno that was humongous and extremely spicy...
What else is new with me? Ummm, I was making videos, but am now stumped, and often critical in thinking back to earlier ones. Like I'm just wasting my time here.
I'm also working like a dog. I was supposed to work today but they cancelled due to some internal problem they were having. Too bad, because I need the money, and am trying to put some back on the side, so I can do some stuff.
I passed the class I was taking, by the way, I knew I did. But a few people didn't pass that I thought would, apparently more than a few failed it. Guess that makes me a freaking genius since I didn't study at all, or tab any pages, or highlight a bunch of crap needlessly, and ate while they were teaching, and showed up late a few times...
HA!!!
Go see the movie, you won't be disappointed. I will be here laying on the floor, writhing in agony, clutching my stomach. And looking up at the gods pleadingly...
What's next, more kidney stones?!?!?!?!?!?

Flesh Graveh McJones...

Well, not much has happened, at least that I can speak of here on this blog. There is another, but good luck finding it, it is nothing like this one. But it definitely delves much deeper...
"Onward to the next subject..."

This is Jeremiah. I met him through my wife's friend at work who was a nurse there. He is her son, but he is in a coma right now and not expected to live. It is a very sad tale, and I could've played a hand in making it an alternate reality instead. But these are just private musings on something I have no power over to alter in any way...
Everytime I saw him he was either on the upswing, or down of it. Never in between. I really did like him, but he was doing too much KOOKOO juice to be around without thinking he was gonna end up having police involved somehow. He was a fragile soul and when he'd have his shit together, he was nothing like that picture.
THAT IS WHAT DRUGS DO TO YOU, PEOPLE.
For some reason or another, he was getting a prescription for methodone, possibly for a neck or back injury in the past. I used to buy my weed from him, and occasionally counseled him on things he was bothered by, and what to do to change these things. He was often very depressed and enslaved by the medication fed to him by people who did not care what they were doing.
I started AA and he was intrigued at my own personal transformation, although more physical than mental.
"But that is something entirely disputable somewhere else more appropriate..."
Yes, keep to the subject...
As I've never felt comfortable sponsoring anyone, since I'm not perfectly mentally balanced by any means, I had often given him advice, and offered to take him to some meetings. He never went, but I heard he had been thinking about hooking up with me after he got out of jail this time. And that makes me sad that he didn't. It is a shame, and he has two small children who will probably grow up without a father, barring a miracle as he is on some kind of assisted breathing device now.
I had thought about him too, recently, and wondered if he'd straightened his shit out. Someone said they had gotten a divorce, he and Amanda, his wife.
So in summation, I will say he was an oddball to be sure, but if you knew how to handle him, he was actually an alright guy. Soon, although I hope and pray not, he will be returning to the earth. Another man's mental anguish will subside, to replaced by another.
"And another. And another..."
Et cetera...
With the exception of marijuana (as it is not a "drug"), I believe true drugs, including carelessly prescribed ones, have nothing in store for you but alot of bad times and eventually an early grave. I have no answers to any of life's questions and no cure all soul fixers, I am just a wayward onlooker, held captive by the travesties surrounding me.
Those fucking earthly clamors. They drown out my peaceful harmonious existence. Bad enough that I am a slave to the flesh...

Just a quick hi, since it is very early in the morning and I haven't went to bed yet. I stayed up doing some work on ye olde blog site here...
"We likeses it, don't we?"
A reflection of its creator.
I am a simple man, and ask for very little, except possibly your undying loyalty, and whatever bits of chocolate you may have upon your person. I am also easy to please, this meaning I'd really love to hear some feedback from y'all heeyah...
"We likeses it, don't we?"
Even from the haters.
Most of the blogs I find here on blogger are either gay political wannabe's who worship Michael Moore work like it's the Bible, or they are just plain too gosh darn boring to bother with. I will admit that I came here after reading the complete blog of Kevin Underwood, the Oklahoma Blogging Kid Cannibal, which ended up being kinda pathetically lame in itself.
If I still had all my Masters of the Universe action figures today, I would dedicate a blog and many score of video to their mighty escapades. I saw the Transformers Movie this weekend so that's what brought this crazy, half moon babbling about. I never was a big fan of cars, or ones that turned into anything else. The movie was ok, but a little dizzifying in its effects and fast paced, wild angled shots.
Muthafucka gave me Taco Neck before all was said and done. I give it a C+, would've been more if they wouldn't have spent so much time trying to get the Even Stevens kid laid, and got down to some asskicknicityness!!!
John Turturro was pretty sweet as a weirdo FBI agent eerily reminiscent of Jeffrey Combs character from The Frighteners.
So back to Masters of the Universe. I hear they are actually planning a new movie, and I sure hope to hell it is an adult version, because I wanna see some serious shit go down. When they did the original, Dolph Lundgren did all he could, but special effects were just completely unable to capture what I like to call WTF, for the sake of movie magic. And adding some balls to make it rule. Also, their best bet to direct and possibly write this is someone who played with those badass toys well up into their early adult life...
"ahem..."
Cough, cough.
Yeah, me. Well at least someone my age, because I was their target consumer when they started, and bought every little thing they put out with my hard earned lawn mowing money. He Man was the coolest, and he didn't even have THE STACHE.
He didn't need it. But he had one deep inside though...
We all got a little in us when the need calls.
"Well..."
Andy Dick?
Ok, well maybe not Andy Dick.
Damn, it's near 7am...

Fuzzless Bacon and the Sacrificial Lamb...

Wow hey, look at the Stingmeister go!!! That's alot of air for someone to jam to, ya know? I will treasure this night for the rest of my life...
"A dream dance, a shared romance..."
SYNCHRONICITY!!!
(They opened with it!!!)
I can't believe I found pics and video of it the next freakin' day!!!

I started out from home, going to pick up my rental car. It was supposed to be a Stratus again, but dammit, I ended up with an Avenger or something like that. So I drive to my friend's in Springfield to get a toke up or two, then head out to I-44. I got a call from Jay saying he was just a little farther down the road than me. I never caught him, as he was speeding, and I didn't wanna get pulled over, and possibly detained...
When I get there, the exit before mine claims that it's the exit I'm searching for. But I pass it on by. Already the sick feeling in my tummy is beginning, with good reason as I can see my exit is thoroughly backed up. It is closed when I get there, and I'm detoured into a part of town where I am painfully aware that I am now a minority...
"A hated one at that!!!"
Damn you, Mapquest!!!

I found my way in, and marveled at the awe that is Scottrade Center. It is huge, and there's a bar or two in there, among other things. Apparently the St. Louis Blues play there...
I also stopped at a few tee shirt stands, and got this one:

So I enjoyed the show, shared a few email addys with a few new friends, and headed back home, where I got terribly lost, and somehow found my way farther down the road on I-44 luckily. I hauled ass when I could, as the other Police were out in full force, snagging speeders and swervers left and right.

"My bunghole was puckered a time or two."

I hung out with my Buddeh Keithy until it was well into daylight hours, then took my dad to breakfast. Then I headed on home to finish out the rest of my week's vacation.

And toketh some more...

It has been a tough week of vacation. I hit a kid last week on a bicycle with my car and finished off a difficult class for work, among many other stressful things. I will go into these a little more in detail later, I just wanted to get this out there, before it fades from my memory.

Especially the accident with the kid. It was quite nerve wracking, and I am still unable to find out his condition, Hell I just hope he wasn't hurt too bad, if at all...

What a Police Themed vacation!!! Both kinds. The ones that make you squeal with glee, and the ones that just make you squeal.

And I don't ever wanna hit another kid, I almost didn't even go to the concert because of it. I felt really bad for awhile, the whole damned weekend, because some kid decided to dart across the street right in front of me. He's lucky I didn't kill him.

"Hell, you're lucky it wasn't your fault!!!"

That I am, that I am...

Still, if that little turd wouldn't have done what he did, I wouldn't nearly have had a coronary while I was surrounded by the fuzz.

Now when I even see a kid, I get all nervous-like and paranoid another will come flying out of nowhere. I'm pretty sure you are only allowed one hit kid in your lifetime. After that, they start with the whole pattern thing. What if you're like me though?

"Really fucking unlucky at times..."

Check out my videos I added to the right side of the blog, they are kickass, and you get to see just what the Graveh does in his spare time...

Besides toke, and pummel kids with his car!

Don't Thand Tho Clothed to Me!!!

I had planned an in depth look into the life and times of the Idol one, but since I'm pressed for time, I will just say my goodbyes, and head my way on out the door, merrily humming the melody to De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da. I will be seeing them later tonight in St Louis, and I can't wait. They didn't have the right car at the rental place, so I will be driving an Avenger instead of a Stratus. They claim they aren't made anymore. Too bad, I loved the shit outta them!!!

Tho, here we go then, I'm off to thee the withard!!!

Thankth guyth, I'll thee ya later...

More to come on this, when I return, hopefully with some kickass pictures to share. No horror stories tho...

Please!!!

CuSACKery in Room 1408...

I saw 1408 Friday night, and it was pretty good, I give it a B+. Lots of scary stuff flying at you most of the way through it. Could have been better if they hadn't flubbed the ending. Were they both stuck in the room at the end? The room apparently had the power to warp time as well as space, so if so, something like that would be entirely possible. My daughter doesn't seem to agree with me on this one...
Samuel L. Jackson was the Hotel manager, trying to talk the overcurious writer from staying in the room, even for but one hour...
I kept waiting for him to lose his temper and say, "Who put these muthfuckin' evil spirits in this muthafuckin' hotel room?!?!?!"
They also could have expounded more upon the denizens past of the room, since they went into more detail on people who we never saw in spirit form, and others that were never explained. It could've been better planned, and would've made it an instant classic...

I woke up without internet today, and called SBC to see what up. They connected me to some douchebag in India, who eventually passed me on to someone stateside who couldn't help me either. I made a video, which will be to your right in links, and is called Lay Lady Lay. I think I did a pretty good job on it. I just wish I'd had more time, before the net came back on. Hope the guy from SBC who comes on Monday isn't guilty of netsackery!!!
I'll show him all about that sort of thing, using his nutsack. And two bricks. And some earplugs...
Go see 1408, it's worth it for the scares and chilling creepiness. I will sit here and pray my net stays on...
Also, watch my video, and comment. Rate it too, I hate when people don't rate videos. If it sucks, it sucks. Honesty can be brutal. But it's better than delusion!!!

Fantastic Four vs. Starsky and Hutch...

"In a Starsky and Hutch world, the Silver Surfer wouldn't have stood a chance..."
But alas!
Tis not to be, so I will say that I thoroughly enjoyed this one more than the first, which was apparently unmemorable. I saw it was PG rated and realized it would be swarming with kids, but they were pretty well behaved and engrossed in the flick.
Normally a B+ type movie, but the fact that I actually really enjoyed it bumps it up to an A-.
So eat it!!!
I loved the space sequences and fast pace of it all, and them trying to find time to get married on top of it all...
"Am I the only one that sees the irony in the gay cast member marrying the hottest chick on the planet?!?!?"
Go see it people, it was good, except the shameless cameo by Stan Lee being thrown out of the wedding after throwing his name around more than a few times. OK, we get it, you made comics and shit...
Starsky and Hutch would've saved the day in their own special way.
Brute force.
And the planet still might have been destroyed in the process!!! Between the dark fro and the golden mane, that shiny little freak on a boogie board woulda been filled full of hot lead, and a heaping helping of cutting edge police brutality:physically and emotionally...
I am alone tonight people, and feeling kinda low. I haven't been blogging much lately, but have been making a few videos on my youtube page, which you will be able to find to your right.
"He is a complete retard too..."
Hey-y-y-y, I even play the drums on one!!!
Exactly.

Wow, it's almost as if they know you want to have a threesome with them, regardless of your sex, or even your inability to embrace the more sensual side of life. But don't worry...
"They will embrace that side, and several others, including deep on ze inside..."
Ouch!!!
Like a stool pigeon on a rotisserie...

Hostelities in My Nether Regions...

I saw Hostel last night, but was busy doing nothing, so I didn't post it last night. Sue me.
It was ok, I give it a B. The brunette who cuts the guys weener off in the end is pretty sweet too, and kinda petite. Thankfully it wasn't as much tits and ass as the other movie was. Good special effects, I just wish they would have spent more time in the rooms, doing what they do best.
Oh well.
"It was better than Pirates 3..."
So yeah, I've been busy, and I've got two weeks of schooling I have to go to soon. It's gonna be tough to hang around on the net maybe, my brain might swell, and I will need to rest that said weary head...

I read the local sheriff's department's jail roster, with accompanying mug shots, on a daily basis. I was wondering just what the heck is wrong with this lady's face! Has she been arab drifting with it? Is this road rash, roseatia, or the worst frickin' acne I ever did seen?!?!?!
A word to the wise:
"Don't blow homeless guys."
Dood!!!
Forgive them Father...

Spectaculate and Manisculate...

Sorry, my moods have been too dark of late to share with the likes of all ye...
"And he ain't just whistlin' Dixie either!!!"

But I will be back soon, to tell you of movies seen, and Fall Out Boy concerts, and whatever else I've been doing in the meantime...
So you can spectaculate and manisculate all you want on the particulars of my doom and gloom.

You will be none the better for it...

B-Day Shoutout to Mah Pizzle Drippin's!!!

Someone is turning eleven tomorrow. This is almost like advertisement to the ladies. I'm ugly as hell, but I make cute little rugrats. But I digress...
She already had a skate party today, with cake, presents, and friends. Now two of them are here for the night...

I wish I had an outfit like this, and an industrial size jar of Vaseline, so I can be all slimy and slick as I come all jerkily out of the hallway. It's either this or...

"He comes out looking like Ricky Skaggs?!?"

Run for your lives!!!

I'd rather face the Pale Man myself. At least he won't bore you with his bluegrass nasal wheezings. Kidding!!! I know some of you may be a big fan of his. Ok, one of you...

So I don't know what tomorrow brings birthday-wise, but I'm sure it involves me working hard to make it come to fruition.

"While I'm here..."

Yes...

I saw Pirates 3. It was extremely long, and there tweren't any decent swordplay, if any, until the end. The end of a 2 hour and 48 minute snoozefest I tell you!!!

It wasn't bad, but it was far from the first installment, I give it a C+ only due to good special effects. Johnny Depp wasn't even likeable in this, he did nothing throughout to redeem himself. And Orlando pouted and preened like the dandy he is.

"Chick's still pretty hawt..."

Even has a hearbeat!!!

Nothing could save this lump of poo. You wanna talk about near death experiences?!?!?!?!?

I'm counting this as one of my more recent ones...

So happy birthday to my personal favorite person in the whole wide world!!!

I love you sweety, and I know, I know...

I gotta go to the mall and get those Healies before school is out so you can show them off. I'm such a square...

"You're such a good daddy..."

Hey, my parents never bought me those parachute pants I wanted so desperately!!!

Such is life.

Blog B-Day Graveh Love!!!

Woops, I forgot that the 13th was this blog's very first birthday...
"How could you, I mean really!"
Yes, indeed.
Well, I apologize for that folks, but I plan on making this a regular tradition, never announcing the anniversary until I've actually remembered it, which isn't hard for me to do by the way... ramble ramble...
So wherever you are, take a moment out to get down on your knees and thank the lord for TIG OL BITTIES!!!
"Wheee, this is fun!!!"
Would someone please get this goofy bastard off my back...?
It's your monkey...
Damn it, I hate when he's right...

Red Hawt Graveh Love!!!

Yes, Graveh with his trusty guitar. He's all prettied up too...
"He doesn't look so much like a hairy beast anymore."

The OGRE is dead!!!

Alot of hair went down the sink, and I went through two razors getting all the fuzz on the underside of my neck. Then came the hair dye...

So, if you look to the links on the right, there is some Red Hawt Video Graveh Love with your name written all over it. My way of giving back to the world as we know it. Try not to get any on your lapel, if you're careful...

Chizz-Nizzed!!!

I resaw 28 Weeks Later last night, but kept falling asleep, even with the bag of Reese's Pieces and a humongous Cherry Coke. I just couldn't get into it, my mind has been elsewhere of lates. And ever since I saw Pan's Labyrinth, everything else pales in comparison!!! Who won best movie of the year again...?
That is probably one of the best movies I have seen in a dog's age, seriously. A rare A+ in my book: everything you'd want in a movie and a few things you'd never have even imagined. I will own this soon.

Here's my Ms. Garrison tee I got for $5 at Spencer's, what a steal!!! I am also going to dye my hair black again today, the name of the color was blue/black on the box and had an Oriental lady on the box. So I'm guessing it will go good with my Chinese eyes...

I also started a more private, unfindable blog. It is unfindable by the likes of any of you...

Trust me, you wouldn't wanna read it anyway...

...Click... BAM!

I looked up names of a few of my friends, dead or alive, on the net. Every little link that came up took me nowhere near what I wanted. Just alot of things to try to take my mind off of the task at hand, but none working at all, it seemed. It just saddens me that it is so easy to forget all the things in the world that pain us so much just by the click of a mousebutton. I'm afraid it doesn't work that easy for me...

I went to sleep as soon as I got home from work today and woke up around 8:30. Now I am getting ready to go back to sleep, and it's a little after ten now.

I think I zigged when I shoulda zagged...

Or french fryed when I shoulda pizza-ed...

Anybody else out there feeling me?

Russell, this Watermelon in Easterhay is for you buddeh...

P.S. I just got a sweet webcam.

Weiner vs. Winner: It's All the RAGE...

So I guess I better throw out a quick review before someone gets their panties in a bunch.
Har-dee-har-har!!!
"Does anyone even read it anymore...?"
Well, I lost my counter in the blogger move, it seems, but have now installed a new one. I like the new look of this, I even have kickass links to kickass places!!!
So 28 Weeks Later was pretty sweet too, I give it an A-. It did alot better in my mind than Resident Evil 2 did, it built upon without nearly as much cheese involved, including the opening sequence where this guy fucks over his wife to get away from the raging throng of the infected...
OUCH!!!
"Yeah ladies, it makes you wanna rethink how often you're giving up the goods to your old man."
I don't wanna give alot up but you gotta know how it ends by now...
Mainland baby!!!


An acquaintance on a forum did up this likeness of me: Quite fetching indeed!!! I am flattered to the fullest, and I mean that literally...

Here's my reply picture of him getting it on with a homeless man with the false promise that a free meal will follow. The poor bum thinks that hotdog will be all his when it is all said and done...

But NO!!!

"Twas not to be this fortnight..."

You know it's gonna get crushed and torn before the fun even starts. And the only thing he's gonna be swallowin' is a bittersweet load of Uncle Paulie's Miracle Salve.

Patent pending...

To Suck or Not To Suck...?

This better not suck. The trailers have all looked good, even the local critic hated it, so it must be kickass!!! Of course this one will be more polished than the indie runaway hit it sequels that I just happen to own on DVD. The original was great, and the main character, whatshisface, has a budding career now, possibly as a Batman foe.

28 Days Later was fresh, and crisp. It semi helped breathe new life and interest into a dead franchise: The living dead, or flesh eating ghouls. Whichever you prefer. I'm gonna go take a shower now...

This better not suck...

(Back later with a review.)

Still Illin'...

I've been burnin' up lately, ill since last Friday pretty much. I am now on some kind of hydrocodone syrup that's kicking my ass now, but I have to go back to work tomorrow...
And on top of that, I've decided to see how long I can go without shaving or cutting my hair.
The Messiah...?

"Hardly..."
But I did get this sweet baby picture sent to me today. Of course I did have to alter it a little to suit the mood. I've scanned quite a few pictures these days I've been off. Lots of stuff to play with...
Yet now sleep overtakes me.
Woozy...

A Match Made in Heaven...

Gene pulled no punches, Gene held the rousing rabble at bay, Gene got answers to difficult queries...
After conquering radio and television, he set his sights on The Tonight show, then leap frogged his way into the job that would set him apart from the rest...
"And would mold TV gameshows for decades to come!!!"
Witty and decadent, randy and hip, that's what Mr. Rayburn was all about!
Rolling with the punches. And giving a few back...

As you can see, there were many an infamous episode, whether it be a "nipple slip" of the tongue, or coming up with fake contestant names like Harry and Balls, to be pitted against one another. The liquor would flow, panties would fly, and the good times would never end...
Or so they thought.

We all know Gene got alot of tail backstage, but he could knit a mean sock as well. Rumored to be the original all purpose spy/gameshow host prototype before guys like Chuck Barris and Jim Perry, of Card Sharks, were ever brought into the fold. His feats of bravery and loyalty to the flag will never be fully known, but it has been said that he could decapitate a man at a hundred yards with the flick of his question card...

And that his long skinny microphone was actually a high tech anal truth probing doohickey of the most devious sort. This of course is classified information...

"You're on a need to know basis here people!!!"

If you knew, you'd be dead already.

Rest in peace, Gene, I know it's not your birthday, or the anniversary of your death, but you're still missed buddy. I grew up on that show, it is part of what made me all that I am. The boozing... the womanizing... that kickass guitar laden theme running through my brain...

"The incessant urge to..."

BLANK.

Shades of Graveh...

Whether sporting a tux or that "fresh outta the grave" look, he is always on the go!
"Look at him g-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!!!"
Dopplegangbangin' it...
However it turns out, there's always a little more Graveh left in the tank. It's almost a given, and something many have come to depend on.
"Dare I say leading a charmed life...?"
Pshh! Hardly.
But the Graveh do lead an interestingly bizarre life; a feast or famine to the finest and fullest extent. Arm and arm, yet neck and neck, and toe to toe, I'm racing destiny to the finish line.
"I refuse to be a plaything of the gods any longer!!!"
He shouts...
He fumes and festers...
Unabated and never sated, he has firmly yet so eloquently stated: I am dedicated to be medicated, and once mated, to be inundated with the thing for which I've so long waited. To be rated as one of the fated, and to be highly elevated...

Parallels in the Black...

I saw Spiderman 3 last night. It was very good, but my heart wasn't into it for some reason. It wasn't the kids blabbing away all around me with no regards to the movie whatsoever, nor the fact that I'm getting a little flu-ish. But I still give it an A, the story left you hungering for the battle, and he doesnt don the black suit until the last hour or so and Venom doesn't appear until there is only about a half hour left.
But they apparently have signed to do three more pictures so we can expect more dazzling effects and brilliant storylines to come...
MAXIMUM CARNAGE!!!

And such is my existence as well. I'm guessing I won't be sated in life until it is over it seems. Things are going downhill at an alarmingly fast and brutal rate for me now. Like ol' Pete, I've been strutting around like a peacock, with my head in the clouds...
"Or did you mean up your butt?"
That's enough out of you for today!
He's right, you know...
Where were you guys when I needed you?!?!? I wonder sometimes if it is not me who is sabotaging my well being. I am a severely complicated person, to all but myself.
In spite of this, I persevere and trudge on, dragging my feet where I may.
"Usually at an electronics department somewhere..."
I always seem to come away empty handed. Yet another parallel...
All she...
I want but it only stops the numbness for a little while, then you get into a pattern...
All she wants is...
What do I have to do, where do I have to go, and how the fuck do I even find it?
"Is everybody else faking it too?!?!?"
More!!!
But does it really help at all? Misery has a strange flavor, and the sting of all that can wrong is intoxicating. I must've always had a thing for that feeling in the pit of your stomach.
I can't explain how I feel: the paradox of me that wants you to love me and leave me the fuck alone!!!
My arms are open, inviting... outstretched...
Impending DOOM!!!
"Come take us..."
Away. Get on your bikes and ride!!!

A Lovestory of Capitol Proportions...

"Coming soon..."
A tale of the love shared between two men: one stiff as stone, the other stoned stiff. What would come of this taudry affair, only time would tell. Or until he got back onto the bus. Because he didn't live in Little Rock, he was just a couple hours north. That damn statue was nailed to the floor , and was too cumbersome to escape with into the drizzly afternoon anyhoo.
There will be more to come...
I promise you this.

Boobs and Bombs...

That's right kiddies, it's movie time again...
"Today's pick was a doozy too!!!"
NEXT.
I ended up seeing it alone, as my kids were wont to see the latest teen flick, Invisible. As I was originally still a little raw from Ghost Rider, I entered into this a little uneasily at first. But it pretty much kicks off with a bang, and doesn't let up until the end. Why couldn't Ghost Rider have an awesome plot as well...
"Hmmm..."
A- is the grade today.
It was faintly reminiscent of Memento, yet not as confusing. The special effects and shizzle were top notch, I'd say, and quite generously ladled on, as if by...
The HAND of GRAVEH hisself!!!
To go into detail and break it down to you would be to give the plot away, and since I liked it, I ain't iguana do that. Go see it for yourselves, I'm predicting a slam dunk of the senses, a field goal celebration of WTF, and a virtual cornicopia of kickassedness...
I will give you the general storyline and tidbits:
About the only thing I can say about the whole shi-bang is that Nik is gifted with an ability to see a short distance into the future, and the Men in Black want him to help them save Los Angeles from a nuclear explosion, even though I can't recall, or think they even mentioned, why these guys were even blowin' shit up in the first place. The best part I thought was when he was using his powers to elude casino security often by the hair of his chinny chin chin.
Ginger Julianne Moore is unfortunately in this, but she isn't freckling up the movie like I'd hoped she wouldn't. However, Jessica Biel is a boner inducer through and through heeyah.
And of course...
The black guy gets it near the end of the movie...
You don't have to be clairvoyant to know that was coming...

Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa...

When I look back upon my life, it's always with a sense of shame,
I've always been the one to blame...
For everything I long to do, no matter when or where or who,
Has one thing in common too...
At school they taught me how to be, so pure in thought and word and deed,
They didn't quite succeed...
For everything I long to do, no matter when or where or who,
Has one thing in common too...
Father forgive me, I tried not to do it!
Turned over a new leaf, then tore right through it,
Whatever you taught me, I didn't believe it...
Father you fought me, 'cause I didn't care,
And I still don't understand...
So I look back upon my life, forever with a sense of shame,
I've always been the one to blame...
For everything I long to do, no matter when or where or who,
Has one thing in common too...
Everything I've ever done,
Everything I ever do,
Every place I've ever been,
Everywhere I'm going to...
It's a sin...

Confiteor Deo omnipotenti vobis fratres quia peccavi nimis cogitatione, verbo, opereet omissione. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa...

Capitol Woes and Bus-time Follies...

Yesterday I got up at 4 am to get ready for a class trip with my daughter to Little Rock...
I got up long enough to reset my alarm for 4:45 am, then get up and reset it a last time for 5:20 am. I had been up the night before pretty late erasing and trying to put new music on the mp3 player, to no avail. I had all the time in the world it seemed, but then I had none and had barely any of my deliciously good music on there to enjoy. So after a last minute schmoke up I was ready to go. I had Doritos, Reese's Pieces, pop tarts, Quizno's and drink for lunch, and a few other things to get the munchness started out right. I ended up sleeping most of the way there while it stormed outside, and kids went apeshit inside.
I did, however, get a kid in trouble. After a painfully long stop at the Clarksville McDonald's, we were nearly there, and I started making the siren noise while throwing it off to the side, thus confusing and pissing off the bus driver. Next thing you know, everybody in the front is searching for the mystery cop tailing us. Eyes are darting back and forth, and all are suspect at this point. Except the chaperones, namely me, as I also glare menacingly back at the students. As it calms, I see we are near the zoo. I drop another one on them and a treacher jumps up and whirls on the students.
"Who is doing that?!?!?!"
Silence...
Some kid was playing a game and she thought this might be th culprit, so she made him turn it off. He also had to sit in the front on the way back, but that will come into play later in the story...
So we get less than an hour to ogle the inhabitants of this managerie, and most of the damn things are taking a piss or something, as they were not there. I'm also now leading a rag-tag team consisting of me, my daughter, her friend Ashton, and a terrible twosome in Fantasia and Michelle.
They really weren't bad in the end, just needed someone to firmly explain what up with them. The main problem was that my kid and her friend had issues with them, don't ask me what. They couldn't explain it to me either, so I told them that there would be no switching. We'd go as is and that was that. The only thing that bothered me was when one made mention of her father being dead in a car accident, without any emotion at all. I also had a little chat with them about their language, especially when they thought they were out of earshot. Or the fact that I can read lips.
Unfortunately, odds are they will both be pregnant sometime in their teens, and I'd put money on that too. Hope not, but yeah, probably...
So we end up eating lunch on the bus while they fix a really loud buzzer problem. So I got a 6" sub with a side of migraine. And the buzzer never got truly fixed, it went off from time to time. Then off to the Capitol building...
It was hailing when we pulled into the parking lot, but we ran inside to escape the bus. It was nice, but the tour was boring and that building isn't all that big really. I took pictures the whole time so I will later post a few. I tried to get some interesting ones, but you will have to be the judge of that for me. So blah blah, we leave, eat dinner at the same fucking McDonald's, and head home. We actually got there 30 minutes early, at 7:30 pm. I had tried to sleep again but the boy from earlier kept messing with me until I gave up. His breath was so bad he could knock a buzzard off a shitwagon, and I told him this too!!!
It was too late to see a movie when I returned, and I had plans elsewhere anyhoo. I took my kids to see Disturbia today, but saw Blades of Glory again myself. Still just as funny as the first time. Grindhouse has such weird showing times that I was unable to catch it. Oh well, maybe later...
Tomorrow is my mother's birthday. All should take a moment of silence and bow their heads in her honor.
I love you Mom, and happy birthday, I hope you got another 61 in you!!! Just do me a favor and outlive me, that's all I ask. I can't bear to be without you.
Anybody else out there love their mamas? Let them know how you feel!
There will be more reminiscence when the pictures get developed. I'm too burnt out to remember anything else I did at the moment. And I wanna hear some more Pet Shop Boys...

Dead Reckonings...

Neglectful, ain't I? At the moment I am unable to look back to see just how long tis been...
I've done a few things since then, probably nothing worth mentioning since it obviously wasn't worth remembering in my brain. I even saw The Reaping, but didn't feel inspired to thrill you with my riveting review.
"We gave it a B...
MINUS!!!

Yes, Dead Graveh in all his gloreh. I must say I am a master with make up. And who else does a better cross in blood on the forehead thingie...

Ahh yes. Two heads are better than one. But three heads now...

"That sounds like a Police reunion to me!!!"

You bet it is, and I'm living proof as I slouch here in my chair, ticket in greasy, Hot Cheeto powder covered hand.

Alot of things I'm looking forward to, I reckon, there just isn't much happening around these parts now, if ya dig...

I'm going to Little Rock to see the Capitol and the zoo with my daughter and her school from 6 am to 8 pm. I will be chaperoning kids. And they better be good or I will chaperone my foot up their patooties.

Not really.

I'm still kinda pissed that they wouldn't let me drive my own car, said I'd have to pay for all the stuff if I did, like tickets. I'm saving 23 bucks ,plus gas money and snacks, by riding the bus, but I won't be without an mp3 player. And I will probably finish the last two books in the Chronicles of Narnia.

I reckon I'll be dead by the time the bus pulls into the final stop...

Dekkadence!!!

Graveh throughout the years in scrapbook form, with a Where's Waldo twist! So many things to find: bloody crosses, Harry Potter, XMAS stockings, cooling fan, Vulcan hand signals, Robert Smith (of the Cure) lipstick, comic book superheroes, and a Steal Ur Face symbol...
You win nothing of course, but will feel better for trying and get to see the Graveh through the decades, in all his decadence...
I rented Black XMAS and Children of Men, but my wife wants to watch one of the new nonrelease ones. Go figure. Fucking Blood Diamonds and Leo. It better not suck balls. I havent seen anything of his since Catch Me If You Can, and that piece of raw sewage, The Beach.
Hope you enjoyed this mindless filler of a post, but tomorrow I ain't gonna be as busy as I is today...

You Smell Like a Winner, Jimmy!!!

There is no way this doesn't make top movie of the weekend. It is that good, people. Feel good and wacky, it was everything Ferrell wasn't in that stupid Ricky Bobby movie. And Jon Heder once again kicks ass as a young, golden maned orphan/prodigy iceskater. He kind of looked like a young Tommy Shaw at times...
Nick Swardson play an obsessed fan of Heder, and has some of the best quotes in the movie. Too bad he's not in it but a few scenes. Great supporting cast, too many people to mention!
A is the score! Yes, it was gay. Yes, it was retarded at times. Yes, Will Ferrell has to show off his horrendous physique more than I like. But geez, it was a feel good movie with lots of chuckles in it. People stopped talking when it started, everyone forgot about who was kicking their seat, or that someone was pissed that they'd just gotten kicked by them, or who was jibber jabbering too loudly. Loads of laughter, and an engrossed audience at a movie with a lighthearted message, put out in a snazzy way that kids of all ages can enjoy, that's the best way I can describe it.
By the way, Heder is Mormon. I hadn't known this before, but it makes sense. I haven't seen him in anything too naughty, and I like that. He also doesn't just play Napolean Dynamite characters, but most are good natured and usually a little naive of the wicked ways of the world. He's good at it, so deal. No one else seems to be having a problem with him, his movies do quite well in fact. I always feel I need to defend him, like I have to with other likes and dislikes. Like Sandler, or Rob Schneider, people that most are quick to slam but have no excuse for why they are so gosh darn popular.
Ok, I admit, Rob Schneider is stretching it a bit. But if you've seen European Gigolo you'd be high fivin' me like a mofo right now.
Damn, it's 2:17 am, do you know where your speed skates are?
"You're gonna need 'em to get to Sleepy's house!!!"
SLEEP DIRT...