Poof...

No feeling. No feeling. No feeling for anybody else, except for myself. My beautiful selfish...

Your daddy's gone away, be back another day. See his picture hanging on the walllllllll...

I think it takes a special breed to...

Not give a fuck. Soon I will be one of those. I want to do things like jumping out of a plane. The only problem will be whether or not I will pull the ripcord.

Although I always saw myself dying by fire, or electricity. Or an electrical fire...

I'm indestructible, or I'm the Terminator.

Come with me if you want to live.

Gawd save the Queen.

Potential H bomb.

When a Plan Comes Together...

Yeah, he could use some serious eyebrow trimming action. I know this. He knows this.
I just got back from seeing Couples Retreat. Of course everyone ends up in danger of splitting, but in the end they all find what it was that they'd lost: each other.
Barf.
Another message to listen to, to be wary of things...
Ehhhh. Real life isn't like this. It is bitter, and vengeful. It is spiteful , it is...
Just bullshit. Everything that we are fed, it is just some bogus fantasy where we tell ourselves that the whole point of being isn't just to end up in misery. Stuck. I go to work and I see everyone pairing up. It amazes me that people get mad when you talk to the person they're messing around with there. I always tell them if they have a problem, I can take it up with their wife instead. I don't care anymore as far as all that is concerned.
I don't ever want to play that wierd game, be part of all that. I'm not even sure what I'm trying to say. Now I don't even want to talk about any of it.
I still feel deep waves of who knows what the fuck but now it doesn't seem to pitch me as far down, or maybe I'm just numb and used to it. When I can forget it isn't so bad. It is just the times that I'm forced to remember...
So Couple's Retreat was decent. I had a few chuckles, and overall it wasn't too bad. I give it a B.
I posted on the Chiefs before, and had planned on going somewhere to watch the game. By the time I got everyone ready, they were losing. We went anyway, and miraculously they pulled it out. A win in overtime is still a win, and against the Superbowl Chumps no less.
Sorry Big Ben. Sleepytime, she comes...
That made me feel better. My team is on a two game win streak.
So one more day of work and it's turkey time. I know I keep saying it, but it is time to get back to where I was. Forget all the crap, focus. Focus. Focus.
No distractions.
No one fucking up my plan.

Wait, what plan...?
Where's Hannibal when you need him?
Instead I get Mr. Peepers.

Sparkle Suck...

I think I understand the true meaning of it all, but it doesn't make anything easier. Or take the sting out of it...

Runaway trains usually tend to run out of track at some point, or hit something hard and unyielding. Then it is time to sift through the wreckage. Any survivors...?

Nothing is left now but silent screams. The licking of the wounds would be the next logical step, though logic has had little to do with the mess up to this point.

I saw New Moon. It sucked as bad as Twilight. I had to go home and shower off the GAY when it was over. Sparkly vampires, indeed...

F+.

Now, onto other things: erm... ahhh... ummm...

Hopefully Kansas City will not get donkey punched by Pittsburg today. They were up a touchdown, but are losing by 3 now. If they pull off the upset, I will do several things I need to do with more enthusiasm. This is the promise I now make to myself.

I wish there was a happy button. I would never take my finger off of it.

But then again, if I did that it might not feel so special. I guess shit has to suck part of the time.

Go figure...

I'm almost done mourning, I'm almost done hardening my heart one last time. It is a fucking cat and mouse game, isn't it?
You want, others want, and then everybody wants. I'm torn between being self deluded and being semi right. Who knows which is which in this crazy, mixed up world...?
All I know is I've fallen farther than I've ever fallen before. If I come out of this alive I will be less than I was if that makes sense.
The only way us to conform, or die fighting it all. Nothing changes, when you sweep out the cobwebs, it begins anew. Blah blah blah.
I'm tired of talking, I want action. Blah blah blah, who cares right?

Glub, Glub, Glub...

I had alot of trippy shit to say on my blog, then got baked and spaced out looking for a picture to accompany it.
I am home alone tomorrow. What shall we do?
"XBOX 360, RE5 perhaps...?"
A lil hund'rd proof?
Something better. I'm about to be off to a jr. high football game, which is going to be lame as fuck. Not as bad as watching two chicks play pool, but still.
As far as in personal life, I'm numb. But this weed is pretty stiff stuff, because it sure brings back the flavor at times. More like a boyish innocence occasionally makes its way to the surface, bobs a few times, then goes back under for a bit.
"Drowning?"
Or living, perhaps...?
What were the sounds of a drowning man again?
You tell me, I don't want to remember.
Switch on the globe. Darken the room and put some trippy lights on it.
I don't want to look at myself anymore. I want distraction.
I will have it...

E.B.D.'s...

Hi everybody!!!
What's happening, how ya livin'?
The stickiest of the icky here. Or is that the ickiest of the sticky?
I'm the 311 man. I'm your nasty plaything, here I am...
I'm the b-side, better than the a-side. Flip me over and give me a spin...

So what have I been doing of lates? Other than late nights with Bea Arthur and the American Gladiators? Waking up to the sounds of mein own screams? Going to sleep to the sounds of mein own screams?
Right now I'm watching Bob Ueker on Letterman, and laughing my balls off.
Shaking off the dust, buffing out the rust..
Fixing to go for bust. If I must...
Ha!
Tonight will be flautas, an they are mighty fine. I often get them at Mexican restaurants, but like all of their food, much better made at home than by some sweaty illegal who hasn't yet grasped the concept of handwashing and its connection to explosively bloody diarrhea...

To Be Pegged...

What else has he done? Voicework as the Joker on a cartoon. Oh, how far we have fallen.
He hasn't aged well, as hasn't Carrie Fisher. Who knows, I'm... uhhh... I will admit I've masturbated to her in the 80's in that golden bikini, choking the living shit out of Jabba.
Who hasn't?
Sad that he never got any other kind of work. Harry Potter will see the same. The only one who ever broke out was Harrison Ford.
Leave me alone. I'm on a mission to see if there is a horseshoe buried wat up deep in his ayass...
Surrogates earlier tonight. I give it a strong B+. Him being in it dropped it down a notch. The story broght it back up to where it is now. Deal with it.
"Controlling, she says..."
I call bullshit.
Yet what good does it do in the end?
Exactly. Amazingly, right now the only voice in my head is my own. Who is there in the end? Ask yourself that in regards to your own life.
How righteous are your morals?
I would love to hear what someone who read this through from the beginning interprets this.
I bet they would totally misinterpret this.
This is a pining.
This is remorse.
The end of pity, of mourning.
"A rebirth?"
Hardly.
Unless I stop breathing, it is PUNCH OR GET OUT until I die. Headache/heartache is something that seems to be a concurrent them in my life. I guess I'm deadset on not giving up.
"She said you're trouble."
The Devil.
What us the most fucked up

Unentangled...

I am the craziest person I know. I will erase this tomorrow or whenever. Right now I can't even see straight. I'm so fucked up right now, if I left this unedited you'd have no idea, as wouldn.t I, as wouldn't I, as wouldn't I...
Fuck the Joker, I am the New World Madman. I await further instruction...
Punch or get out...

And They're Off!!!

Well, the first game of the season is in the books, and it seems my beloved Chiefs were not on the winning end of it all.

At all.

Not true, and I'm sure all the football guys will fail to notice that KC hung in there until about three minutes left in the game. The stats and final score are a bit misleading. The commentators and the referees were pretty much against us, and it was thinly veiled at times. I will say we held our own for most of the game, and didn't look bad at all. After next week with Oakland, we will easily be 1-1. We could've used this win, but worse things could've happened.

Cassell better be worth 65 million.

And he better be zinging footballs like a madman next week. We need an air game, they ran alot at first. Open the field up a bit first. Then lob one off to the side and let Larry Johnson do what he does best.

And no, I'm not talking about spitting on chicks at the local nightclub.

Fuck Ray Lewis, and that Flacco guy, too. Whoever was calling the game had nothing but gushy, gooey things to say about those guys. I thought KC had a better defense at times than the Ravens. That safety should've counted, and maybe they would've went for two on that first touchdown. That crap changed completely how the game turned out.

I do believe KC has a really good chance at turning out pretty darn good, espicially after hanging in there with Baltimore like they did.

Hope Haley stays on their butts. Hope Cassell takes command. Hope, hope, hope.

One of my favorite movies of all time. I really think this needs a reboot. I read all the Destroyer books way back when, and they need, need, need, a reworking. Unfortunately, Fred Ward was the perfect man for the jerb. Remo was the perfect man for the jerb, he just didn't give a fuck. I love this movie, I loved the books. Why can't they make this happen?

No Picture to Share...

Monetize. Just what the fuck does that mean?
And just how much is a human life worth? I'm trying to sort through this shit myself.
I will feel again when our lips touch,
I will feel again, I promise,
I will feel again when it doesn't mean much,
I will feel again when there are things I miss.
I will feel again when my life isn't so chaotic,
I will feel again when it doesn't hurt to feel,
My face feels a tick,
My face feels as if not real,
at times,
My fucking life,
It makes me sick.
I'm good , though, dood. Dood. Dood.
Dood.
I love how when you are at your lowest point everyone up and leaves you. You are worthless. Ha, am I?
I want to scream, I want to hit things. No one seems to be on my side. This is the worst time of my life, but I will be ok. In the end I will be emotionless. I will be like the rest of you. I will(not) think of only myself. I will(not) be motivated by greed. I will(not) be true to the earning of a buck. (Not) (Not).
I saw the Time Traveller's Wife. It was really good. I cried like three times. I saw many parallels in my life, without the love he had. And I broke my finger. It really fucking hurts and I have no recollection of how I did it. I woke up today and my foot hurt, and they were superdirty. I took my kid to the doctor today and I noticed my feet. Looks like a dirty hippy who trampled through a field of shit.
Such is my life, so who cares, right?
I think I'm going crazy sometimes, or am I just feeling? I am so used to being alone, and not caring. I can't even cry anymore. When I don't care, we are all in big trouble. It is much more than just not shaving or cutting my hair. I shuffle my feet, I look at people, yet I don't match eyes.
Like a butterfly, I will open up, I will...
I will.
Then what?

Love, Love, Love...

Comedy. Sympathy. Tragedy. I am the phoenix reborn. Will I learn from history or am I dooooomed. Dooooooomed to repeat it? Man, this will either be a seriously hawt ass serial killer blog, or it will peter out. Peter out...
My heart constantly falls. Not like a dip, more like a plunge.
I want many things I cannot ever have. I'm good though. Reborn, like Captain America. The first weapon, the first weapon. I am going to start a blog, and no one here will partake of it.

Taint Gonna Happen...

Put the needle on the record when the drumbeat goes like this:
"Untz untz... untz untz untz!"
Techno?!?!?
I have moved out of my computer room, and now all my shizz is nestled snugly in the corner of my bedroom. It was nice watching TV on hulu with my pc, instead of being forced to see whatever is being thrown out there on DISH. I'm also getting shit squared away so I can start doing things with my webcam, maybe do a little vlogging. The lighting is way better in here anyway so...
I also have a little handheld cam, but you gotta have an assload of lighting for that, so it's pretty much an outside thang. Either way, now I can share the gloriousness of my ferret. However, I got rid of the guinea pig over the weekend. That piece of crap was a waste of space. All I did was feed and water it, then it would fill its cage with poo and peeness, I'd clean it, and the process would start again. I couldn't sneak around the house for shit either, anytime she knew I was around, or heard me crinkling anything, she'd start shrieking because she was always hungry.
Or I'd be fucking busy, and she'd bite the bars on the cage. That can be extremely distracting when you are trying to do yo thang...
"Not cool at all."
Taint a good thang...
So I'm not missing her in the least, and I told my kid that her friend better not try to give it back. All sales final, even though it was free. And, hey, I threw in a whole giant back of feed AND bedding. Out of my hands now...
We saw A Perfect Getaway yesterday, and it was pretty decent. Steve Zahn was awesome as always, but something about Milla just bugs me. I don't find her attractive. And I knew they were the bad guys all along, the mistake of reading the wiki synopses beforehand. They didn't spoil it, but they mentioned the mother of all twists. And they tried to make it look like everyone they met up with on the Hawaiian trails was the creepiest couple you could ever possibly not want to meet up with... on said trails. I give it a solid B, but it could've done alot more with what they had. Delusional, crack loving lovers stealing people's very lives, let alone their identities.
What else can I think of? Ummmm, on vacation this week, gonna do some stuff around the house. I'm getting my insurance check finally, and it's about $3200, and that is nice to have coming in. I'm turning my computer room into my daughter's new bedroom, and I gotta buy a new dresser and bed. A few other things. She can set up her guitar in there, and I'm not sure if they are going to move the drumset out or not. Jam out!!!
"Is this guy for realz?!?!?"
Boring.
Geez, whadya want, for me to be all bleak, and how much life sucks, and wah wah wahhhh?
When I get my money, I will also be making a cage for my ferret, probably behind me. She will not like this, as she has never been caged, but I have to do this. She likes to poop wherever, and I can't seem to get her house trained. She will use the litter box when I catch her getting ready, but otherwise she doesn't seem to care.
This blog seems to have degenerated into poo and pee, body parts and drugs, murder and mayhem. At least this entry, so on that note...
I will bid you adieu.

Yes, I Fucking DID...

So many people laying the Hassle on me. I don't care. You can't get blood out of a turnip...
Not sure, but I layed out alot of uhhhhhh................ catch phrases today.
"Even the sun shines on a dawg's ass sometimes..."
DEJA VU?!?!?
Wah wahhhhh.
"Feel like I've been kicked away from the table for farting..."
Move ovah, boah...
I work alot and rarely sleep. I've noticed alot more grey, and even more facial wrinkles added upon that. Not really caring, yet not feeling complacent about all that. Did it before, ain't no thang to do it all again. Will get to the gym very soon. It is when I am in that mode that I am the most dangerous. Right now I work with really old people, I could learn alot from them but they piss me off so...
"I hate to watch them eat..."
Chewing.
Ha, you fucking people, you believe in so many things, yet have no idea.
Funny people. The Sandman knows what the fuck I'm talking about. I will either go to see Phish, or I will miss out and do what finally needs to be done. I'm tired of lying, I'm tired of it all and not feeling anything emotionally. I'm tired of fucking everything...
I'm just plain tired. People want me to succeed. People want me to fail. In the end, I will not have anything I stoopidly want now. People still hang on my every word on a daily basis. It makes me sick. Live through your own self.
All the people I care about have forsaken me. No, wait, I have forsaken mein own self. I fucking warned you.
When I do this, I will be utterly alone. I will be utterly alone. Utterly alone. Repeat. Repeat. Just kidding...
Not that nutz, just a bit down. I've done this before, this time I will not ever fall in love with anyone. I will be happy to be alone, to lie to people for sex and affection.
Love is for suckers...

Mein, All Mein...

This will be short but sweet. No dilly dallying around. I saw Funny People this weekend, and it was very good, but mostly sad. Not very funny at all. I give it an A, the Sandman shows his chops here and even throws in some Billy Madison acting for good measure.
The Collector was good too, but left you kinda wondering what up. I'm sure there will be more to come, until we are tired of it.
East Bound and Down is a fantastic show, I'm getting episode 4 tonight, and only have the 5th to get after that, but I will definitely buy the dvd when it gets cheaper. Tomorrow is Observe and Report, and it will be mein...
Oh yessssss.
It will be mein.
I think I will say fuck it all to the rest, and devour this on a nightly basis. I hope it's got alot of extras I can dive into.

Letter Nate Than Bever...

Explosions, explosions. When will it all end? Dunno, but I'm hoping things turn out alright in the long run. Time to see where fortunes wind up heeyah. I'm sorry to be so cryptic, but it's better than not posting at all. Or is it? I did a video for Nik Kershaw's Wouldn't It Be Good extended version. Tis up at the top somewhere. He is awesome, and he actually answered back an email I sent him at one time. Whee for me.
Not much else. Getting ready for my oral conference to see whether I get suspended or not for three days. Looks like it, as the guy that's going to do it was an asshole over the phone. Woops, guess I can't be late for a very long time.
Oh wellz...
More later. Fun and joy... and joyness.

Who Doth He Think He is...?

Some douchebag commented on my last two posts...
"Who does he think he is?"
How do we know it's a he?
Don't care personally. Either someone who got butthurt over what I said about their beloved Michael Jackson, or someone I know playing anonymous jackass.
I saw Moon yesterday. Wonderfully bleak and all that. The guy from Choke was in it, so I knew it'd be a good one. I enjoyed it immensely, and give it a solid A.
I went to the lake for some swimming, but the lake levels were way too high. Of course the jackass let me pay to get in, when he knew I'd be back to collect my refund. The pool was full, too, so no swimming today. I came back, made bacon wrapped cheddar and jalapeno brats with kraut, and soon will be kicked back on the couch watching tv.
I didn't drink this weekend, but my friend did, and I bet he is miserable for it. I always feel better without the drink, but after awhile you try to slip a few back in and WHAMMO!!!
My kid wants to run and get slimmed up, so we are going to hit the gym together. Mondays they are closed, so we are going to start slow. Hit a trail and just sun it up maybe. Chit chat. I need to get back into that. Fuck the rest of you.
The rest of you are the kind that post comments like, "You FAIL @blogging."
The kind that let shit fester away inside of you. I will not be one of you. Who do you think you are?
Who?
Coming soon: back in shape, mentally and physically. Videos will be made, stuff will be done. I will find a focus.
Michael Jackson is STILL dead, by the way. Fuck him.

Knowing is Half the Battle...

So I avoided this when it came out at the theater, and this was when I was going at least 3 times a week. Well, yesterday I finally rented it. Alas, I was unable to watch but a smidgeon.
Today, I got to finish it. To make a long story short, it sucked and the only part worth watching was when the sun scorched the planet.
And incinerated his extremely receding hairline to smithereens.
F+.
Now I'm fresh out of the shower, a svelt 175ish and beads of juicy dewyness rolling down my back. And into the crack of my ass, ha!
There's no work tomorrow, and I'm wondering if any good movies are even coming out. I kind of wanted/needed some overtime, but these three days will actually be spent recovering instead of piling on the hurt. I haven't been smoking, or drinking, so my everything feels better already as well.
I can either take the good car and have to get up early, or not go anywhere and sleep really really really late. If I do that, I won't get what I need to do done, if you dig. Decisions, decisions...

Sometimes people ask me why I'm giggling uncontrollably in a corner. It is usually because of this picture. They, however, know nothing.
Fools.

Michael Jackson on a Spit...

I went to the doctor yesterday, after the hellacious five day weekend I had before that.
Bad kidney infection, and my stomach must've gotten involved, because I threw up blood constantly Sunday, which in turn reamed out my pipes from all the acid coming back up. I pretty much didn't eat for five days, and I won't mention what else I did.
"Liquid diet, perhaps?
Indeed.
I was given ciprofloxacin, a heavy antibiotic, to knock this shit out. I had thought it was either a pulled muscle that wouldn't unkink, or kidney stones again...
But I was all nervous and jittery from you know what, and constantly nauseous. So they gave me promethazine, which I'd thought was some kind of super acid reflux killer or something.
"No-o-o-o-o-o-o sir!"
The dreams I have had...
It says it can be a heavy sedative, or great for insomnia. It was also used as an antipsychotic in the past. The chick doctor gave me the highest dose pills you can get, 25mg. If I would've taken it how she said, I'd be dead. I only finally took 1/4 of a pill last night, and boy did it hit hard. At first, I felt just kind of woozy, then extremely drousy. I fell asleep for 5-10 minutes watching Teen Wolf, then woke up all funky and kinda messed up feeling. When sleep overtook me again, I had really screwed up dreams. end of the world fare, but very vivid, very...
"Surreal?"
Frighteningly.
The things I remember, and can divulge, is that I was staying in some big hotel with family and other people I've known in the past. I was outside somewhere, and I looked to the sky. I could see this wierd cloud formation going on, like the mother of all tornadoes was spawning. Then I saw the tendrils coming out of it, and how large it really was. I alerted the person I was with, and we left. I got back to the room, and told everyone I was hallucinating or something, because I had seen what I thought to be the end of it all. Or soon to be.
"Did they confirm your suspicions of visual kookooness on your part?"
Did they ask you what you'd been smoking, and if you had any to break out?
Someone turned on the TV to CNN, and I was flabbergasted. Many things: giant figures floating on air, strange beasts, and just plain craziness. Alot of things from the bible, and they weren't happy. And no one in the room seemed to be bothered by it. Almost like acceptance of what was about to hit. I don't remember much after that. And when I woke up this morning, I was still woozy. The feeling didn't go away until, I think, I shit it out. And I've taken a shit five times now since I woke up.
I just thought I'd share what I remember since I don't usually dream, or remember them.
There was more, but of a personal nature I just can't share.

So anyway, like I said, I was watching Teen Wolf, which is an amazing movie. So many things going on at the same time, and Michael J Fox can act like a mofo. What a rare A+ movie. I also watched Knocked Up again earlier in the evening. Still good.
I haven't seen any movies since whatever I mentioned last time-ish. Debating on the Transformers, but it is superlong and I ain't big into cars, other than driving them.
Erm, what else? I was watching Battlestar Gallactica and Buck Rogers before, but had to take a break. So I'm almost finished with Silver Spoons now. Great, happy little show.
"Remember when your sisters curled you hair underneath at the bottom so you could look like him?
Then the curling iron burn you received on your neck?
Ha, we also tried the Flock of Seagulls 'do on me as well. That bird was not a healthy one.
Oh yeah, Michael Jackson. He died. Oh wellz.
Big deal.
I will say it. Fuck that pedophile. It's ok to pass trauma like that on because A: Daddy did it to him first, and B: he's so-o-o-o-o-o-o talented it should just be overlooked. How much did he pay in that settlement again? You don't pay if you didn't do it. It's like O.J. going free from murder charges only to find him negligable in their deaths...
Moments of silence they give him.
Why couldn't we have gotten that when he was alive, like...
Not having to hear about his legal woes, or what his other crazy family members were doing, or his music. Ha!
Raised up on a pedestal, I guess. And alot of lonely, demented buffoons worshipping him as a god. Downright pissed if you say a harsh word...
"On a pedestal..."
Should've been put on a spit instead.
Waddya want, a wing or a thigh...?

What up, Mofeckle?

How yo dick hangin'?
Low I hope...
Dennis Chevante. The man. I can't wait until Observe and Report comes out. Trying to think what else I'm waiting for, but they, if they even exist, elude memory for now. Dang it.
When I'm done here, I'ma go looking online to find out. A+ movie all the way. The director is the same as Foot Fist Way, and Danny McBride even makes a "guesty".
I just made that word up. Yay for me!!!
I also happened to be digging through a $5 bin at Best Buy with no hope in sight, when I spied Silent Rage. I'm sure if I watched most Chuck Norris movies now, I'd cringe like I do when I see the A Team. Doesn't have the same effect. But this one is Chuck versus the guy that's pretty much like Mike Myers without the mask. Kung fu plus Sci Fi plus the Country equals what?
An A+ plus movie still. I highly recommend.
What else: Sunshine Cleaning. A+ as well. Great movie, the kind of which gets overlooked and underseen. Too bad, and Steve Zahn makes an appearance as a sleazy exboyfriend/cop/still current lover.
Nothing else. Shopping around, so to speak.
Saving my soul...
"He has one?"
I think he's being sarcastic.
I also just finished season one of Charles in Charge. I have finished up finally tonight, and only wish they had season two. Great show, I wonder why Chachi died out of stardom? I mean, he was still banging away at some high profile poonanner even after he fell. Mind boggling.
I need to remember how to properly search Hulu so I can find new things to watch.

Shun...

I am always being led to Candy Mountain, but no more. Strength. Unicorns. Pink and violet. I once again am free, and care no more. Free to be me, free to be.
Yay for me.
Working out, very hard, very...
Diligent in my feeding habits. I saw a movie tonight that I expected to suck: it was called Expired. This guy is one step away from being a serial killer. I could but I'd be more the vigilante. I could never kill anyone who didn't deserve it. My only reason is revenge, though it is not much better.
Justice?
Why not?
Shun the nonbeliever, shhhhunnnnnnnnnn-nah.

Snifferpibbitz...

Man. I is............................

Can you dig it?

Love take me down... to the street...

Geeeeeeeeez.

Well You Lie, You Lie Lie Lie...

Tell me why, tell me why. Why you had to lie? Either side of the extreme, it all makes no sense. Do I care?

No.

I have shed alot of things, yet feel all them very distinctly.

When I come out of this I will surely be heartless, not care. This is my purpose, or is it?

I hate normality, I hate everything.

Fix me?

Signed, Sealed, and Delivered?

So here we are again...
Pink nipples and all. A man on vacation. A cancer.
I'd laugh if I had it.
Instead, I get to linger on, and fall victim to lesser crimes.
Betrayel.
Why?
The wind howls, as do I. A tornado would be nice. Lifted up, carried.
Then dashed. Ragdoll action. I open my arms.
I've been dead for years and years.
This kinda thing would only finalize it.
I may kill this blog soon, or leave it here, not sure. It started harmlessly enough, then I had to make it suck...

Gacy Schmacy...

My day today consisted of many things I had not originally planned on. One of which was setting the microwave on fire at work. It no longer works...
"He broked it!!!"
Inconceivable.
Au contrere. I did that and more, all of which I will not expound upon, including the drunken antics of one overly thirstatious ferret...
I saw Milk the other day. It was ok, a strong B+ even with Sean Penn playing the same character as he did in I am Sam, just a notch gayer on the scale. Franco is good, but a bit too much grab ass for my tastes...
I also saw the Street Fighter movie, and it was lame. Shun. Shuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun.
What else...?
I'm seeing Shopaholic tonight, but I can't wait for The Watchmen to come out. That will be amazing. I pine for this...
"He pines..."
He doth.
So work, blah blah blah. Fuckers messing my shit up on a regular basis.
Cocktease.
I wonder if this blog will ever be of interest to someone in the far future. Will they wonder what the fuck this strange cowboy was all about?
Ok, the moment has passed. No more prideful wonderings.
It is bizarre to see how my blog has changed. Definitely not evolved but... devolved? Stripped down?
"Ha, minutely comic, perhaps..."
Tragically geh, possibly.
We are our own worst critics. We are the ones who hold ourselves back, from the unknown, from the...
Undead clowns. They want to suck the last bit of marrow from our funny bone, then use that jagged edge to pick lazily at their fangs.
I've been reading up on some things. There is usually some kind of cataclysmic event causing unknown oodles of trauma. Then a calm...
Then the giving up of all those things that hurt, caused pain. You shred them up, then toss them out the window. You abandon hope for awhile, then dig deeply into something.
You become interesting and not so numb anymore eventually. You find people begin flocking once again, wondering how... how... how...?
You then show that one fatal flaw, that event horizon which sends you careening off into the black.
"Swallowed."
Whole.
Why, you may ask?
This is what we do. We juggle, we make balloon animals, we let the children tear at us and well...
Fuck our shit up, for lack of better phrasing. We are always in search for treasure.
In this we are doomed.
In this we are doomed.

Doth it ring for moi?
Si, oui, and dah. It doth, yet doth not bring about randy late night fumblings as was earlier pined for.
Something good came out of it, I just need to "do yo thang".
"Methinks he doth procrastinate too much..."
Troo dat. He doth.
I originally started this blog after reading about Kevin Underwood, the retarded fuck who blogged and eventually killed a 12 year old girl. I was fascinated by the fact that this loser had a handful of years under his belt online, and you could semi see either his meltdown, or a ruse to get him some kind of mental unhealth back up.
So I started one too. It's been around for awhile, and occasionally gets neglected. I always come back to it. I had another that was wayyyy more private, but I had to kill it as it was too painful to continue it.
Someday, I hope to blog as some totally new, hip kat... bright and shiny... optimistic, wide eyed to the world once again.
"He doth dare to dream!"
Troo dat. He doth.
These are the voices, and thoughts, that hold me back, pin me down, and lay their steadfast custody upon my mouth to prevent my screams.
But nothing can hide the wild wideness of mein eyes. I fear it all, yet cannot stay where I am at, like being on the ledge of a burning building as the flames lick up my asscrack, and roast my taint until I...
"Plummet?"
Take the plunge.
Sploosh. The things I've seen seem to override the things that I have yet to see. I stifle, asphyxiate, black out, bring to screeching halt, burke, check, choke, choke back, clamp down, clam up, constipate, cork, cover up, crack down, curb, dry up*, extinguish, gag, hold it down, hush, hush up, kill*, muffle, muzzle, put the lid on, repress, shut up, silence, sit on*, smother, spike, squash, squelch, stagnate, stop, strangle, stultify, suffocate, suppress, torpedo, trammel...
"Someone's been using their online thesaurus."
Naughty, naughty...
So anyhoo...
I would love to fix my life, I would love to save the day, I would love to frolic like a hobbit in the shire. All that shizz. I will. I have to. I don't want this as it is now. I am not the person I once was, or would like to be remembered as. I tire of dreaming, wishing, planning, hoping, lying, procrastinating, committing acts of tomfoolery upon myself...
So yeah, it rang. I didn't hear alot of what I wanted to hear, but I heard enough. One thing. One thing. I hope it wasn't thrown out there as a halfhearted attempt at pity, or worse...
An empty promise like:
"When pigs fly, yeah, that's when I'll give you a call again..."
OUCH.
I just read up on addiction, and OCD stuff. Alot of that crap rang true, and you'd be surprised how little it has to do with the actual physical part of the jerb. A trauma, or neglect, as a child...
Not saying I was touched or anything, which I wasn't, just that sometimes kids don't understand the paradox that is life: some kid whining and pouting their asses off because they yearn for independence, your undead spouse expounding upon the shortcomings that your immediate presence brings, your boss handing you a letter reprimanding you for things of a paltry nature. Telling you that your behavior is detrimental to "the team", one of which you've been a part of almost half of your life. By someone who probably hasn't done a decent day of work ever in their life even.
This is what life is about. It's about who you know, how slick you are at making things happen at the expense of others, just... plain... bullshit.
How do you fix this, or "change" it as the Obama kids are saying these days, how do you turn it all around? Are you just supposed to numb yourself to it all?
I'm sure I'm not unique, but I wonder...
Am I the only one seeing how much it all sucks? Am I delusional?
In the end, it all burns, it is all engulfed.
"Flames..."
A baptism of sorts.
Ironic that the things that cleanse devour what has befallen. History is left to decompose, and the hardiest pieces crumble in the open like pages of an ancient tome, handled by the least skilled at the task...
In the end, everything and everyone dies. It is a race of the likes no one wants to be crowned victorious in. Trauma. New beginnings. Futility. Hope. Dismay.
Enlightenment...?

Don't Be Scared, Beware...

Just a quick reminder to anyone who forgot to do something to go, "Holy shit, thanks Graveh!"
Unless they were henceforth reminded AFTER the fact.
Then it's more like, "Uhhhh, what do I do now? Where you a few days ago?"
It never ends does it?
It is yet another dismal day, and I prepare myself for Max Payne...

And So You Shall...

Weehaw, it's Valentine's Day. That special day of the year where you honor your loved one with chocolates and treasures, cards and merriment for the whole fun filled day. Or something like that...
Where's the He Man Woman Haters Club when you need them?
I saw the reboot Friday the 13th movie last night. It had its moments, but overall wasn't anything new, and it missed some of the late 70s/early 80s nuances it once had. It is funny how they still try to kind of make the same teen fun movies, but fail miserably. Nothing compares, and all fall short. The soundtracks even kicked ass. I was thinking yesterday about how times have changed and lack what they did back in "the day".
In "the day" everyone talked about Kung Fu, and carried nunchukkas. When you turned on the radio, amazing new music was heard on a daily basis. Shit didn't cost you an arm and a leg, and the world had a sheen upon it, the likes of which most of you haven't seen. At least since, that's for damn sure...
Lestat hid away in his house, fearing any noises heralding a new dawning of a new age, something he couldn't comprehend, or fought against as wholeheartedly as he could muster. I think we do that, CHANGE. In the end it all goes to ruin. Our highest hopes locked away for all time, to be sifted through by no one. Abandon all hope.
Abandon all hope.


Poof. There is worse out there than just vanishing. In some video games, there are places that you can get stuck, where you can't get out, and you can't off yourself.
It's like that. Whoever put those there was one cruel bastard, and don't even try to tell me those are accidents. Everything is everything for a reason.
Or is it?

I'm not your GUY, Buddeh...

And here I thought I would post a shitload more on my blog, but what're you gonna do?

There was a gigantic fucking ice storm that knocked my weatherhead off the roof, leaving me without power for 8 days. Most people lost power, maybe for even a handful of days, but nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.................

Not this cowboy.

Bunch of bullshit, and everything seems to be building up to some cataclysmic climax in my life. Everybody, and everything, is all weird and shit. I've got a huge headache, the kind that just pounds nonstop. Need it to stop.

It's warming up now though. Thanks alot douchebag Mother Nature. She fucked me out of some money, and I intend to squeeze it out of her very bosom itself!!!

I'm gonna have to get an mp3 player, so I can work out again. And some gloves. Maybe tonight. Not sure, it's getting cold now that it's in the evening.

And I'm lazy as fuck, don't you know...

2009 Wants and Needs...

Not sure what it'll bring, but I'm hoping to get as much of it out of the way. This should've been last year, now I'm going to quit putting things off.
Then why does my stomach quease?
I'm going through the hardest thing I've ever gone through in my life. The guilt you get to feel, for just wanting something useless and futile to end. They can see it just the same, so why do they fight it, and threaten to take you down with them?
I'm holding tight to my resolution of not drinking, although last night, while sitting in the theater, I felt a wave of depression just HIT me. Everything was suddenly...
"Bleak?"
Hopeless.
Sinking. And the feeling that no matter what I do, I will fail. Miserably.
I feel like I want to cry, but strangely, only when I'm around others. Why does this not come when I am alone.
Don't get me wrong, I still feel the same. The tears just do not come to me.
I feel emotionally ravaged and numb.
So I also quit smoking, though I've had a couple. I will continue to fight it, and next week I will be back full force at the gym. I wanna be bigger and in better shape than I even was last time. I want to take my anger out on all that equipment. I don't want to be talked to, I want to be left alone to work out all the demons I've got squirrelled away in my head.
The problem will be making myself eat later. I plan on just being on some kind of autopilot routine with alot of the self care thang.
I want to live through the eyes of my kid. Show her that it all doesn't suck, though I'm still often skeptical myself. I want. I want. I want.
"He wants..."
He wants?
I need. So many things. I've decided though, if things aren't panning out the way I'd hoped, then I will still do my best. Or will go autopilot again until something, if it does again, snaps me out of this funk.
I said last time I'd not do it again. If I give up this time I am down for the count...
"One... Two... Three.."
Will he? Nahhh...
Should I take a standing eight count?
"Four... Five... Six..."
Seven... Eight... Nine...
Unfortunately we are stuck on a cliffhanger here. The answer won't be revealed until a later date. I'd like to stop back by here in 2010 and see if things were worse or better myself.
Won't you join me?

Merry F-ing XMAS...

Merry XMAS to you all. I have probably never posted this day ever but I is nizzow. I bought my kid a guitar, so far I haven't heard her playing it, my stepson is probably enjoying his XBOX games more. XMAS is a pain for me, I do alot of work, am thanked for none of it, then expected to ferry people around and fake smile all day. When my taxes come, it will be XMAS for me. Right now I'm broke, mentally wasted, and just bored and tired of it all.
I stink to high heaven too!
Click on the pic to get the gif image of it. Pretty trippy. Can't believe I can still tune a guitar, btw.
I have to drive to Missouri today, I dread it. But I want/need to see my parents. I don't care if I get anything, I just wanna eat and be fucking merry for once, lol.

The Agony of Deceit...

Before I go any further, click on these pics as they be sweeet gif images, especially the Hitler one.
So where was I? I saw The Boy in the Striped Pajamas last night, it was good. I give it an A. Maybe you have to be in the mood for this kind of thing...

This was a bleak film, but very short. I left wanting more, and wondering why there wasn't more detail to it. There definitely could have been more made out of it. Wonder what happened to the family after, did the mother hang herself in grief and shame? Did the father ever redeem himself, or just give in fully to the monster within him? What about that poor soldier sent off to the front line, did he make it out? Doubt that one...

So anyway, it's cold as fuck here and tomorrow I have to be at another plant to work over there, so I shan't be up too late tonight.

Awwwww, who am I kidding? I should wrap myself around a huge bottle of gin, and then wrap my car around a tree. I won't though.

Le sigh.

Holidays suck. I remember getting Castle Grayskull for XMAS one year, and they all gradually went down from there. Maybe life is about falling in love with things, only to leave them discarded, or watch them wither of their own accord. Which is the nobler deed?

I'm now starting to understand how fucked up it all is. Easier too, when you realize how many things you still have around you from ten years... fifteen years... twenty years or more...?

Things rot, things disintegrate, things... lose luster.

It all blurs, it all... turns too like Anne Rice's belief that vampires turn to madness when the times change around them. Even Lestat went through it. Too bad they ruined it with Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt in the starring roles. Once again, another example of life's bullshit.

I ramble, and I feel all marmly. Robble robble.

I actually have shit to do tonight, but I feel crappy due to this shitty weather putting my sinuses on lockdown. My kid is singing in Fayetteville tonight, another is singing here in town. I wanted to work out but that's looking like a no go either. I don't like to run with a headache.

So anyway, peace out whoever. Space.

It's Us Who Makes The Noise...

I've been now sauntering out and down a path sometime. Come on it takes me nowhere, which I know...
Who would join me upon this journey to understanding of... any of it all, when there is none to be had?
It is cold outside, the dog has not even been long in the ground, and I feel hunger. Or is it thirst?
Should we play a game with the fanged coven, or just sparkle in the sun as the hushed whispers furtively dart between the tongues and teeth of tweens all giddy from the pregame ritual of memorization and swooneriffic fantasia? I see flickers of radiance in my peripheral vision.
Here in the twilight of my dependence of independence, I proclaim few things.
Gotta take pay for the saint's and sinners in regulation hats and scarves and things.
Walk in formation down the lane, they carry their cross make a church bell ring.
(Bring the army down)
Army majors pull a mean cool truth they're lying by the swimming pool.
Searching for the undeniable truth that a man is just a fool.
Soon to be vanquished to a lukewarm can of Spagetti-O's near you. Or to the cold center of a convenience store microwave burrito, skimped upon by the fickle finger of Time, among other Gawds of the Microwaveable Netherworld...

Obamarama...

No, not the group that brought you that pop sensation Venus. That was Bananarama. This is just the guy that's gonna make you wish you lived there...
Chocolate Goddess on the mountain top,
Burning like an ebony flame,
Dark summit of beauty and love,
And Condy was her name!
Her weapons were her charcoal eyes,
Making every man a man,
Black as the dark night she was,
Got what no-one else had,
Bootay!
She's got it,
Yeah, baby, she's got it!
I'm your Venus, I'm your fire,
At your desire.
You know old Barrack has to have tried to tap dat ass. Condy is way finer than his old lady anyday. So he gave Hilldawg a spot on his roster, wasn't expecting that either.
Regardless, I'm not a religious person but I swear if there is like some assassination attempt on him, and he looks like he takes a direct head shot...
If he shows up later totally unfazed, I may just be a changed man. Kidding, but I like how he isn't even PREZ yet, and I'm already hearing about all the promises he made during his campaign that he's already gonna be unable to do.
Wow, nobody ever questioned that at the time, they were too busy jizzing themselves over being gypped into believing they were part of some historical bullshit and breathing heavily in the media/celebrity gaseous clouds of their smug fartiness of divine intervention on our common peasant, inbred asses. Ha!
I love how it is assumed that the world didn't hate us prior to the first time Dubya ever flushed the White House toilet. Eight years of blinders under a self absorbed, hornytoad bumpkin like Bill was more than enough time for the rest of the world to gather and plot our demise.
You gotta hang out around the water cooler to hear the latest gossip and stay in the know on who's trying to ram something explosive up your ass. And in this case, the water cooler is the Middle East. Obama can't get us out of there, and as we tuck tail and run, they will bid us farewell with harsh words and a few final rockets to boot.
McCain wasn't going to keep us in some kind of war with Iraq. The hope was to have those guys finally cover their own asses, and we would have a presence there like we had in Japan. I've even heard him explain it with mein own ears, and saw his lips move with mein own eyes.
Who knows what Obama will do? I do believe he is about to have some tests coming up, one being Iran and Israel. They are not going to let Iran have nuclear capabilities. They are going to mercilessly bomb the fuck out of them. Will this, along with further disastrous events, start the end all of world wars?
"Will the devil have his day"
Kidding, geez!
Einstein once said, "I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."
I wonder if there were any past civilizations that crawled up out of the mud, or from eons huddled in caves, to have the mental might, yet the moral depravity, to nearly destroy humanity as a whole. Maybe we just got lucky to the point where a few, but just enough to restock the population, survived. Started all over. Invented god or something in hopes of scaring people from ever again trying to be too big for their britches.
Lied to future generations long enough to let the past fade away...
I think we are teetering. They are watching to see if that wobble was from blood leakage, or faked to draw the wolves in a little closer for the strike.
Well that's all for me now tonight, I'm hungry. Deal with it...

Ebon Flow...

The ebb and flow of it all, what does it all mean? My mood, and those things around me that bring me up, also leave me dashed upon the rocks.
I still have three, possibly four, days of work left this week. It is always tough to be there, because I really don't like to talk to people in the real world, and I don't like to be touched by them. Or probed in any way. I can be extremely vague when I want to be. Leaves room for loopholes, you see...
Piercings, within the realm of law, yet ringing the nipple, errr..... I mean star that is pure, unadulterated goodness like a rogue planet of vigilanteism and doom to the evil naysayers perched on my haunched visage. WTF?
I was forced to watch Jeff Dunham today on TV, and that guy is not funny, and puppets aren't funny, and you know what?
I could see his lips move.
Like today's picture? It's almost like Condy could be a superheroine if'n she wanted to. Her show would be on BET, probably give her a name like Ebon Flow, Mistress of the Menstrual Cycle.
It's 10:20pm and I have to be up at 5am so I hear that whistle blowing last call. All aboard on the last train to Sleepies' House.
Woot wooooooooooot.

Hovering...

So the Chiefs game isn't on TV once again, since they've been losing. However, thanks to Keith, I've found US97, and they are broadcasting the game. Surprising they didn't block this out, because on other channels you gotst to pay. The Saints are without three cornerbacks, and the Chiefs are due up to win. Larry Johnson is back too, so it looks like they will win, though it's beyond me why it's not on TV. This is almost a given, so I'm surprised it's being put on the shelf in favor of the Packers. Maybe I should spend three hours plus at Buffalo Wild Wings...
I don't wanna be the guy who high fives everyone when the game seems over, like last weekend.
So some guy was rooting for the Packers, he saw my Green Bay hat and was trying to high five me too. I was like, "Hey, I'm only wearing this hat to cover my Jew-fro."
So he ran his mouth, and by and by, he was disappointed. And you could see his wife was perturbed at his drunkenness. All I can say is he made me root for the other team.
Football, football...
I love the Chiefs, though they are breaking my heart right now...

Sleepy's Dead Reckoning...

I reckon that though this picture is quite old, it conveys how I feel to a tee. My paycheck will be a good one, but I'm worn out from working on a Saturday, which is today for those not in the know.
I had good company, and my boss bought food for us, even though the rotten bastard gave me a wicked tongue lashing earlier in the day for an past tardy slip up which doesn't even count because I stayed home and had a Dr's excuse. I just didn't call before work. Oh wellz, deal, bitch.
He said he would pass it on to his "guy" and the worst thing would be that I would get some stupid letter in my file, and said it like he was doing me some sort of a favor. I was like "we'll see how that all goes over."
Another woops letter goes into the shredder. Trust me, it will, if there even is one later. He tried to put me on leave restriction once, and that also fell through. Dumbass.
I now have a headache, I'm farting like crazy from some cheese dip with habanero peppers in it, and I think I'm just going to take a nap... right... now.
Nighty nights. Sleepy's house awaits with doors wide open!

2012 Elections/Ode to Condy...

Condy will run, oh yes, she will run. And she will look damn fine doing it too. You will want to vote for her. In this picture, you can clearly see she can readily seduce you with those eyes as well as squirt liquid acid to rain down upon your insolent flesh!!! Beware!!!

Yet she is also a benevolent dame. She will scrub clean all of our wrongdoings, she will wash away the sins of the fathers...

She will bring us back to past glory, riding on a star spangled pony. She will lather us with soft, foamy bubbles of...

Freedom perhaps?

Righteous and divine tenacity for the finer things, to better the realms she beholds with beauty and grace?

Some in the world do not want such a thing as peace and love under one strong black woman who can crush walnuts with her thighs. Some would rather take, take, and take some more. Credit where credit is(n't) due, they mutter under their sour, tainted breaths. We can't let this happen, they cry, befuddled, to the darkening skies.

But can it be stopped? Methinks not. She is the juggernaut, she is...

Inevitability?

Do not fight the rising tide, lest you attempt to wrangle incessently with the gods of burning hellfire yourself.

Let the cleansing rays of the chocolate goddess wash down upon your soul...

CONDY2012

Aliens...

Yup. Here I am. In the flesh. Nekked for all eyes to see. I see some of you squinting. I didn't mean that kind of nekked...

"Thank Jehovah for that!"

Okkkkkkkkkk...

I wish I wouldn't have killed my other blog. I had alot of really personal stuff in it. But to keep it would have meant to go insane. Again.

"Ghosts..."

Skeletons...

Have them, we do, don't we all, come on, come on, won't you now hey?

I like to turn my brain off. Unfortunately it comes back and bites me in the ass. I heard in space they can't hear you scream...

Left Alone...

I have nothing to share today, like it's any kind of surprise. I admit defeat.
"I surrender."
Once again, I roll the dice, and come up with snake eyes.
Kneel before Zod.
Most often, when you let down your guard, and open things, and places...
"Reveal?"
You are already lost before it has began.
Vanity.
Pride, even in the name of love, is wrong. So fuck you Bono. I just thought I'd throw that in.
But once again, I've thrown myself in front of the bus that is...
"Life?"
Idiocy?
My only crime is being the new millenium's Peter Pan, never...
I guess the only way is up now?
"But the floor smells so nice."
Mmmm, and shag, too.
I'm tired of deluding myself. I should get out more, get some sun, get some food in me. Liquid. Flavor. I need a babysitter, but who'd want the jerb? I'm most definitely a handful. And not nearly as charming in person. I bring nothing but badness to the table.
Flavor. Charm. Idiocy. I shoulda been a fratboy. Guys gone wild.
W00t. Disregard this message.

Hep-MO-tized!!!

(By the way, click on this trippy gif image, it's supercool!!!)
What's new, peoples? Just checking in, I know I've been awhile.
"You don't sayyyy..."
I been hep-MO-tized!!!
So what's been happening with me then? Ummmmm, Let's see. Working as much as I can, I've also been watching my beloved Chiefs going down the toilet once again, thanks to Herm Edwards, or as I like to call him: the idiot who keeps ripping my heart out weekly and shitting on it, then stomping it into mush.
Yesterday I watched Say Anything on Youtube. That is one of my all time faves, I took a girlfriend to see it back in... 89-90? I cry everytime I see it.
"I gave her my heart..."
And she gave me a pen.
This gem is a timeless classic. I'm a jerk piece of crap sometimes, and even I love it, so I can imagine anyone who sees it will instantly be catapulted back to their own break up scene. Cusack's best movie, hands down.
I've been seeing alot of movies, the best out of the bunch being Pineapple Express. This movie does for weed comedies/action thrillers what Say Anything did for movies where a guy holds up a boombox jamming some sweet Peter Gabriel. You know what I mizzean...
I've seen it 6 times now, think I might even "hit it" one more time before it's gone. James Franco is kickass in this, I never knew he even had it in him. All star cast and the black guy playing Matheson is high-larious. So see this if you haven't. When this badboy comes out on DVD I'm gonna bogart the heck out of it. Movie of the year!!!
So tonight, though, I'm thinking about seeing Choke, I just hope it's ok for my kid to see it. I'm hoping it ain't raunchfest 2008. I may call and ask first. Looks really good though, sex addict who makes a living by pretending to choke in restaurants takes care of his mama and wants to bang the nurse...
"Hmmmmmm..."
Hmmmm?
I'm wore out, work today was mentally grueling to get through. I hate people. I wish I worked somewhere that I was totally alone all the time. I like silence. I just recently realized that I don't even hardly listen to music anymore. And when I actually do remember to turn the radio on in the car, it's on NPR. So I'm either jamming out to some classical or yelling/laughing at Libtards and their vicious attacks on Palin. She's inexperienced? WTF is Obama then? He ain't even been around very long, and he's spent most of it running for Prez. McCain's too old? Younger than Reagan by the time he was done. He won't die, geez, you morbid fuckers. And Democrats are every bit as crooked as they point the Republicans out to be. Hell, Edwards was squirting out errant, wayward baby batter while running for Prez hisself!!! I'm voting McCain, he's able, he's been in the shit, he isn't planning on taking over the world and drinking the blood of all non white children. Hispanic news is the worst, they are pretty much telling the people who watch their garbage how to vote. The only thing important to them is getting here easier, they don't care about the stuff we need to do to survive in this crazy, mixed up world, lol. I don't think Obama is some sleeper cell terrorist or anything silly like that. The guy is an excellent speaker, he could talk the panties off of Mother Theresa, I'll give him that. But he's a whole lot of fluff, all that talk is exactly that... TALK. He isn't going to fix anything except our little red wagons. Then the shitstorm will begin.
Supposedly Planet X is swinging our way in like 2012 or something, and the aliens will be mining our planet for gold, and apparently taking all the cool rich people back with them, and hunting us down like dawgs in the meantime. Or something like that. All the world's governments are secretly making giant underground ARKs, sectioned off dwellings for all the elite. I hear alot of kookoo theories all the time. Myself?
I think we are spiralling headlong into WW3. There is just too much shit going on, and everyone is turning on us. This didn't happen when Bush was Prez, alot of it started and grew during Slick Willy's reign of terror. So yeah, I'd rather have a guy with balls like McCain at the helm than dickhead Obama. I can't believe he didn't pick Hilldawg as his VP. So we will either have a black Prez, or a female VP. One way or another, we'll have firsties. Depending on who wins though...
It may be lasties!!!
What else now that I've shared my political leanings. I do nothing but sit back here and make videos, the ones at the top of the page on Youtube. Or check out my favorite places on ze net. Liveleak, Youtube, Craptv, ummm...
"Here?"
Yeah right.
I'm tired right now, and still trying to shake some wicked bad cold. I'm also trying to not turn into a fatass again, so back to eating right, and next week the heavy workouts begin anew. I only got back up to 180ish so it'll go quick and dirty. This time I won't burn myself out and plateau like last time. I just never changed it up, or gave it a rest. I was pretty rabbitlike bodywise, but couldn't seem to bulk up. I wasn't eating enough, at least not enough meat. I got bigger when I took creatine, but that stuff made me feel weird so I quit. And I tore a tendon last year like in November in my foot, that also caused me alot of grief, and handfuls of hydrocodone.
"Eating them like Skittles!"
Not that bad...
But when the soft and fluffy ride was over, I was missing them dearly for a few days. I also need to lay off the cancer sticks. So many things to do... to do...
How though? And some of them can't/won't be delved into here, because I'm still dealing with them. Maybe when I take care of them, I will share. But for now, I will leave you with this oath as we bump fists...'
Pound it.
Lock it.
Break the pickle?
Tickle tickle.

Don't Be Square, Be There...

It is amazing that I post pictures of me that bear striking resemblance to Chaotic Graveh yet profess to love you all, and bathe you all in warm liquid night. Bizarre, and strange, events are soon to unfold. I await upon edge of seat: will I fold? Will I...
I will leave that afterthought to ye allz. My destiny is in your hands. Will the hand that bites feed upon you? Punch or get out, punch or get out...
Bondage, and fantasy. Whatever gets your cookies. Will you succumb, will you succumb?
"Methinks he's gone daft."
Begone.

w00t!

more to come, peeps. it is thundering out. the gawds are bowling...

Hi Strangers!!!

Where the fuck have I been? In hell, and I ain't out yet. I'm sure no one is still reading this, so what's the point, right?
I made a new Depeche Mode video, so check it out. It's pretty nifty and will trip your brain out. I'm personally gonna go eat some calamari myself. I'm freshly showered and wearing, ugh, a turtleneck. I look all so spiffy, and I smell almost good enough to eat. Damn, I'm fine today. This is rare.
Now I just need a haircut. I'm also toying with being a blond again.
Hmmm.........................
Comment. Let me hear the multitudes. Ha!