Sunday, April 29, 2007

A Lovestory of Capitol Proportions...

"Coming soon..."
A tale of the love shared between two men: one stiff as stone, the other stoned stiff. What would come of this taudry affair, only time would tell. Or until he got back onto the bus. Because he didn't live in Little Rock, he was just a couple hours north. That damn statue was nailed to the floor , and was too cumbersome to escape with into the drizzly afternoon anyhoo.
There will be more to come...
I promise you this.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Boobs and Bombs...

That's right kiddies, it's movie time again...
"Today's pick was a doozy too!!!"
NEXT.
I ended up seeing it alone, as my kids were wont to see the latest teen flick, Invisible. As I was originally still a little raw from Ghost Rider, I entered into this a little uneasily at first. But it pretty much kicks off with a bang, and doesn't let up until the end. Why couldn't Ghost Rider have an awesome plot as well...
"Hmmm..."
A- is the grade today.
It was faintly reminiscent of Memento, yet not as confusing. The special effects and shizzle were top notch, I'd say, and quite generously ladled on, as if by...
The HAND of GRAVEH hisself!!!
To go into detail and break it down to you would be to give the plot away, and since I liked it, I ain't iguana do that. Go see it for yourselves, I'm predicting a slam dunk of the senses, a field goal celebration of WTF, and a virtual cornicopia of kickassedness...
I will give you the general storyline and tidbits:
About the only thing I can say about the whole shi-bang is that Nik is gifted with an ability to see a short distance into the future, and the Men in Black want him to help them save Los Angeles from a nuclear explosion, even though I can't recall, or think they even mentioned, why these guys were even blowin' shit up in the first place. The best part I thought was when he was using his powers to elude casino security often by the hair of his chinny chin chin.
Ginger Julianne Moore is unfortunately in this, but she isn't freckling up the movie like I'd hoped she wouldn't. However, Jessica Biel is a boner inducer through and through heeyah.
And of course...
The black guy gets it near the end of the movie...
You don't have to be clairvoyant to know that was coming...



Thursday, April 19, 2007

Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa...

When I look back upon my life, it's always with a sense of shame,
I've always been the one to blame...
For everything I long to do, no matter when or where or who,
Has one thing in common too...
At school they taught me how to be, so pure in thought and word and deed,
They didn't quite succeed...
For everything I long to do, no matter when or where or who,
Has one thing in common too...
Father forgive me, I tried not to do it!
Turned over a new leaf, then tore right through it,
Whatever you taught me, I didn't believe it...
Father you fought me, 'cause I didn't care,
And I still don't understand...
So I look back upon my life, forever with a sense of shame,
I've always been the one to blame...
For everything I long to do, no matter when or where or who,
Has one thing in common too...
Everything I've ever done,
Everything I ever do,
Every place I've ever been,
Everywhere I'm going to...
It's a sin...

Confiteor Deo omnipotenti vobis fratres quia peccavi nimis cogitatione, verbo, opereet omissione. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa...

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Capitol Woes and Bus-time Follies...

Yesterday I got up at 4 am to get ready for a class trip with my daughter to Little Rock...
I got up long enough to reset my alarm for 4:45 am, then get up and reset it a last time for 5:20 am. I had been up the night before pretty late erasing and trying to put new music on the mp3 player, to no avail. I had all the time in the world it seemed, but then I had none and had barely any of my deliciously good music on there to enjoy. So after a last minute schmoke up I was ready to go. I had Doritos, Reese's Pieces, pop tarts, Quizno's and drink for lunch, and a few other things to get the munchness started out right. I ended up sleeping most of the way there while it stormed outside, and kids went apeshit inside.
I did, however, get a kid in trouble. After a painfully long stop at the Clarksville McDonald's, we were nearly there, and I started making the siren noise while throwing it off to the side, thus confusing and pissing off the bus driver. Next thing you know, everybody in the front is searching for the mystery cop tailing us. Eyes are darting back and forth, and all are suspect at this point. Except the chaperones, namely me, as I also glare menacingly back at the students. As it calms, I see we are near the zoo. I drop another one on them and a treacher jumps up and whirls on the students.
"Who is doing that?!?!?!"
Silence...
Some kid was playing a game and she thought this might be th culprit, so she made him turn it off. He also had to sit in the front on the way back, but that will come into play later in the story...
So we get less than an hour to ogle the inhabitants of this managerie, and most of the damn things are taking a piss or something, as they were not there. I'm also now leading a rag-tag team consisting of me, my daughter, her friend Ashton, and a terrible twosome in Fantasia and Michelle.
They really weren't bad in the end, just needed someone to firmly explain what up with them. The main problem was that my kid and her friend had issues with them, don't ask me what. They couldn't explain it to me either, so I told them that there would be no switching. We'd go as is and that was that. The only thing that bothered me was when one made mention of her father being dead in a car accident, without any emotion at all. I also had a little chat with them about their language, especially when they thought they were out of earshot. Or the fact that I can read lips.
Unfortunately, odds are they will both be pregnant sometime in their teens, and I'd put money on that too. Hope not, but yeah, probably...
So we end up eating lunch on the bus while they fix a really loud buzzer problem. So I got a 6" sub with a side of migraine. And the buzzer never got truly fixed, it went off from time to time. Then off to the Capitol building...
It was hailing when we pulled into the parking lot, but we ran inside to escape the bus. It was nice, but the tour was boring and that building isn't all that big really. I took pictures the whole time so I will later post a few. I tried to get some interesting ones, but you will have to be the judge of that for me. So blah blah, we leave, eat dinner at the same fucking McDonald's, and head home. We actually got there 30 minutes early, at 7:30 pm. I had tried to sleep again but the boy from earlier kept messing with me until I gave up. His breath was so bad he could knock a buzzard off a shitwagon, and I told him this too!!!
It was too late to see a movie when I returned, and I had plans elsewhere anyhoo. I took my kids to see Disturbia today, but saw Blades of Glory again myself. Still just as funny as the first time. Grindhouse has such weird showing times that I was unable to catch it. Oh well, maybe later...
Tomorrow is my mother's birthday. All should take a moment of silence and bow their heads in her honor.
I love you Mom, and happy birthday, I hope you got another 61 in you!!! Just do me a favor and outlive me, that's all I ask. I can't bear to be without you.
Anybody else out there love their mamas? Let them know how you feel!
There will be more reminiscence when the pictures get developed. I'm too burnt out to remember anything else I did at the moment. And I wanna hear some more Pet Shop Boys...

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Dead Reckonings...

Neglectful, ain't I? At the moment I am unable to look back to see just how long tis been...
I've done a few things since then, probably nothing worth mentioning since it obviously wasn't worth remembering in my brain. I even saw The Reaping, but didn't feel inspired to thrill you with my riveting review.
"We gave it a B...
MINUS!!!

Yes, Dead Graveh in all his gloreh. I must say I am a master with make up. And who else does a better cross in blood on the forehead thingie...

Ahh yes. Two heads are better than one. But three heads now...
"That sounds like a Police reunion to me!!!"
You bet it is, and I'm living proof as I slouch here in my chair, ticket in greasy, Hot Cheeto powder covered hand.
Alot of things I'm looking forward to, I reckon, there just isn't much happening around these parts now, if ya dig...
I'm going to Little Rock to see the Capitol and the zoo with my daughter and her school from 6 am to 8 pm. I will be chaperoning kids. And they better be good or I will chaperone my foot up their patooties.
Not really.
I'm still kinda pissed that they wouldn't let me drive my own car, said I'd have to pay for all the stuff if I did, like tickets. I'm saving 23 bucks ,plus gas money and snacks, by riding the bus, but I won't be without an mp3 player. And I will probably finish the last two books in the Chronicles of Narnia.
I reckon I'll be dead by the time the bus pulls into the final stop...


Thursday, April 05, 2007

Dekkadence!!!

Graveh throughout the years in scrapbook form, with a Where's Waldo twist! So many things to find: bloody crosses, Harry Potter, XMAS stockings, cooling fan, Vulcan hand signals, Robert Smith (of the Cure) lipstick, comic book superheroes, and a Steal Ur Face symbol...
You win nothing of course, but will feel better for trying and get to see the Graveh through the decades, in all his decadence...
I rented Black XMAS and Children of Men, but my wife wants to watch one of the new nonrelease ones. Go figure. Fucking Blood Diamonds and Leo. It better not suck balls. I havent seen anything of his since Catch Me If You Can, and that piece of raw sewage, The Beach.
Hope you enjoyed this mindless filler of a post, but tomorrow I ain't gonna be as busy as I is today...

Sunday, April 01, 2007

You Smell Like a Winner, Jimmy!!!

There is no way this doesn't make top movie of the weekend. It is that good, people. Feel good and wacky, it was everything Ferrell wasn't in that stupid Ricky Bobby movie. And Jon Heder once again kicks ass as a young, golden maned orphan/prodigy iceskater. He kind of looked like a young Tommy Shaw at times...
Nick Swardson play an obsessed fan of Heder, and has some of the best quotes in the movie. Too bad he's not in it but a few scenes. Great supporting cast, too many people to mention!
A is the score! Yes, it was gay. Yes, it was retarded at times. Yes, Will Ferrell has to show off his horrendous physique more than I like. But geez, it was a feel good movie with lots of chuckles in it. People stopped talking when it started, everyone forgot about who was kicking their seat, or that someone was pissed that they'd just gotten kicked by them, or who was jibber jabbering too loudly. Loads of laughter, and an engrossed audience at a movie with a lighthearted message, put out in a snazzy way that kids of all ages can enjoy, that's the best way I can describe it.
By the way, Heder is Mormon. I hadn't known this before, but it makes sense. I haven't seen him in anything too naughty, and I like that. He also doesn't just play Napolean Dynamite characters, but most are good natured and usually a little naive of the wicked ways of the world. He's good at it, so deal. No one else seems to be having a problem with him, his movies do quite well in fact. I always feel I need to defend him, like I have to with other likes and dislikes. Like Sandler, or Rob Schneider, people that most are quick to slam but have no excuse for why they are so gosh darn popular.
Ok, I admit, Rob Schneider is stretching it a bit. But if you've seen European Gigolo you'd be high fivin' me like a mofo right now.
Damn, it's 2:17 am, do you know where your speed skates are?
"You're gonna need 'em to get to Sleepy's house!!!"
SLEEP DIRT...