Tuesday, June 06, 2006

The Omen RePLAYed Out

I knew they would do "IT" again. Just like with the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, they take a mediocre movie at best, put some of "Today's Freshest Faces" in there, and try to make you fall in love with something you weren't in love with in the first damn place. Other than a really nice beheading scene, this was VERY disappointing film. I kept falling asleep through it, or was mesmerized by the idiot kid's cell phone light that never seemed to go off next to me. And what is up with people having to sit RIGHT THE FUCK ON TOP OF ME?!?!? There's a million seats, must we have an armrest wrestling match? And the tallest asshole in the bunch has to sit directly in front of MY kid. The dickhead behind me has to cough into the back of my head and fidget around with his candy wrapper constantly. I even tried to make sure I was at an earlier showing, hoping to avoid such thoughtless buffoons, but to no avail.
This had absolutely NADA to do with the suckiness of The Omen 6-6-06. It just blew. Maybe if you are a today's hip and happenin' teenager, THEN you might think this movie is the bomb diggity. The rest of us will continue to snort and rankle our proverbial feathers everytime they dig up another Hills Have Eyes, spit up our ass and tell us it's the SUPERDUPERSIZE Cherry Limeade we asked for. I just ain't falling for it anymore, or letting others who have fallen for it drag ME to go see it with them. I banish this movie to GRAVEH HELL, forever blotting it's memory from my already taxed mind. If you like this movie, you should stop reading NOW. You are too easily entertained. Go look at something shiny instead...
In the words of the immortal Johnny Rotten:
Get up, Get up!
Get out, Get out!
Get outta my world!
Get out, NOW!
(The rest of you can stay...)

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