Sunday, June 18, 2006

Awww Brigitte, You Know I Don't Want No Berries!!!

Yes, it's the one and only. MY DAD. He is chiseled from such that isn't around THESE days 'nary I've seen, round these parts. The title above is something I heard him say to my mom while he was chatting with me. He was referring to some kind of berries my neice picked up off a bush outside, probably inedible. Most people would pretend to take them, then ditch the berries at first chance. Not him. My Dad is hard to describe, but here goes anyway...

My pappy sounds just like Rosco P. Coltrane, always has. I love his voice, on answering machines, he is endless inspiration for comedy albums, and he's a pretty funny guy too, and VERY likable. So put this together with the fortitude of the Hulk, mix in some old tough cowboy loner, and you got that man semi pinned down.
From an outsider's perspective, he might seem a hard, callous man. I, at times, thought so too growing up. Oh, how wrong I was. When you are a wretched little bastard like I was, you don't realize all the sacrifices he made for the sake of his kids. I'm not saying he never did a few things wrong in our life, but that I think he's earned any kind of pardon at least we, the kids could give.
The gruffness and making me buy my own necessities (like car and toys) were to teach me to be responsible, more self reliant and learn that the hard earned work behind that BLING BLING makes those things a hell of alot more appreciated and treasured in the long run. You gotta take care of your shit. My Dad has shit older than me that's in better condition!
He's also mellowed out since MY more reckless days, probably due to ME stopping said reckless days. I apologize wholeheartedly to him, AND my MOM, for all the sleepless nights I've caused. You really don't truly understand how much of a lecherous, soul draining, worry machine you've been until you reach the age I'm getting to just now.
I have kids, and I have to do without many desired things, including precious solitude, to appease them. I realize things NOW from way back, the behind the scenes inner workings of HOW IT REALLY WAS.
He will always be in my top spot of people I aspire to be like, a spot shared with my MOM. In a world where sometimes I feel unsure of WHO exactly is trying to get at my WHATEVER, they are a calm oasis in the storm. He is so many things I am not, but would like to be. He and MOM have my back like no others. They, and a few others are the only people I would trust with my kids. Someday, I will be more like them. I will get up at the crack of dawn, put up a fence around the "property", and patrol the perimeter for suspicious characters rummaging around, and keep meth labs out of the neighborhood. The world will be less of a place when that man's heart stops beating. I only hope that he, and my MOM, outlive me by decades at least!
They are both healthier and more spry than I am, so that's a distinct possibility. I just couldn't bear to be here without them. I want nothing they have, only their company. I would like to spend more time with them. I make a pledge NOW to either SEE them more, or at least call them on a weekly basis. Unlike my father, I am a shy person, and my emotions are not often so easily displayed. But they have to know I love them, although we say it sometimes, I always felt it was generally understood in more of the way we were around each other. In deed, not in word. I'd give any body part, and I know they'd do the same for me. Hopefully, nothing like THAT will ever happen.
Here's to many more years of even better family "snugness" than ever before. The Nacho Libre review will have to wait, I still have to shower, but know this. It was good. Go see it. You will laugh, unless you have no soul, or you just plain suck...


BigMomma3502 said...

You said you wish they outlive you? My biggest wish is that my daughter outlives me and that I outlive my parents. Here's the reasoning - I don't want to bury my daughter (understandable, right?), and, here's the tough part, I don't want my parents to have to bury one of their own children.

Graveh said...

I'd rather not have to bury ANY of my family members. I don't even like to ponder the possibility. When we were worried Dad had that brain stuff going on, I did alot of crying over it, and he wasn't even gone yet!!! Besides, I have a KILLER funeral planned, complete with sound effects and my hoisted corpse floating over the crowd. IF there even IS a crowd.
Besides, I can always put up balloons at the Pearly Gate for whenever and WHICHEVER of you join me. Kidding!