Saturday, July 31, 2010

School Spirit Shakes...

Hi, gang. I just got back from seeing Zac Effron in uhhhhh...
Charlie St. Cloud, which I just had to look up, by the way...
C, just for the supernatural element.
So, not sure how long I haven't posted, but what are you gonna do. Sue me?!?!?
I'm covered in bug bites, which I though were fleas, but they were only mostly on my hands and lower legs. I'd always noticed these were the only exposed parts when I'm sleeping.
This morning I was doing something in the kitchen when I felt a tickle on my lower back. I smacked at it and noticed a wetness. It was a juicy mosquito, so I'm guessing he was the culprit. Fucker was living off us, mostl;y my fingers. Well, no longer. You just got knocked the fuck out!!!
My neighbor has a above ground pool thing that he didn't fill, but has rainwater and grass goo in. Idiot is unknowingly breeding those bastards like... mosquitos!!!
I have been spending alot of time watching Flip Schultz comedy, and his character by the name of Skippy Greene. He got knocked out of the tryouts for Last Comic Standing this season, though he told me in a message he'd gotten alot farther in season 4. That's right, friended him on the old Bookface...
I know it means nothing. Heck, when Nick Swardson was putting Grandma's Boy out, he was pretty accessible too. So, anyway, the guy is hilarious. I thought Skippy was naughty, but Flip is akin to a Jim Morrisonesque style comedian. He dares to shock and piss you off some. I like that.
And he has yet to piss me off. Or shock me.
Just don't talk about my mama...
So, me then?
Ehhhhh. I'm doin'.
I think it's going to be me, a bottle of spirits, and a pack of cancer sticks on the horizon tonight.
Just how fucking dark does it have to get before the dawn?
I feel like the drowning man that is barely still treading water, but finds his second wind.
Yet it is what it is: a second welling up of strength... to do what?
Prolong doom, nothing more.
False hope.
Right now everyone else's straw seem to be stretched towards mein milkshake.
And they all like to renege on their promises.
I needz to find my metaphoric pair of scissors to snip, snip, snip away the plastic probosci probing at mein main mojo...
Put on that black suit and become the man in black again.
Let this not be another second wind, only prolonging, never relieving...
I can't imagine what hell would be like. And heaven better not be more of what we have down here. Everything is so depressing most of the time. Please, tell me that death ends it.
That I don't just go somewhere else to die over and over again.
I need some high fives in there to muster up enough to continue sometimes.
Otherwise there is no point, capiche?
I wanted to see Dinner for Schmucks today. I fucking ended up with Zac Effron.
How does that work out like that?
My milkshake is empty now, let me borrow yours.
Notice I didn't punctuate that as if it were a request.
That is because it wasn't.
So hand it over, Fuckface.
You too, Obama loving sheeple.
(Sorry, just had to throw that one in there.)

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