Saturday, January 20, 2007

The Hitch Sitch: Who To Ditch?


Whe I had heard they were remaking The Hitcher, I was pretty skeptical. I mean how, just how, can you replace Rutger Hauer. I saw they used Jake Busey in the sequel to the original, to disastrous results. This did not bode well at all for a cult horror classic from the 80's. Would they stay true to the original, or take it on a new course? Could Sean Bean hold up as a suave but maniacal... uhhh... madman?

In the end, although entertaining and often jumpy, I have to say the old couldn't be topped. The guy started out with a girlfriend from the beginning, and he's the one that gets pulled apart by the semis in the end. I just think the french fried finger in the groundbreaking original can't be left out, or outdone. I give it a B...
"Minus!!!"
This is only to scold an industry that of late seems to be rehashing ideas that didn't need rehashing in the first place. Willy Wonka? Dukes of Hazzard? The Hills Have Eyes? Wait, the original of that wasn't even good. See where I'm going with this...?
Pointless.
So in the end, Rutger KO's the competition. This is almost as retarded as doing a Blade Runner remake. Sure you can dip it in glitter and deep fry it, but it's still a ball of shit at the center. Why? Because it never needed to be redone. Let my grandkids pine for that movie, I'm fine as tis.
Also, my dad broke his wrist in three places last Sundayish or something, falling on the ice which has covered much of Missouri at this time. They have also been without power for a week, with a storm looming ahead tomorrow sometime in the evening. Not much luck going on for old Dad, but he will pull through as he tough like The Duke. Wish he'd give me those painkillers. But he won't. Still pullin' for you though, pops!
Amazingly, although it was cold here a few days, we were spared any of the wintery grief that waylaid Springfield just two short hours to the north. I heard today that this incoming one might miss us too, which is fine since it will be in the high thirties/low forties next week anyway. Work won't be hindered so, once again, what's the point?
Otherwise bring it!

4 comments:

Jaysus said...

The Hitcher??? C. Thomas Howell?? Dude, lay off the reefer...that movie was LAME! The only good that came from the gruelling hour and a half of watching it was seeing the drawing and quartering. Otherwise....about like every other Pony Boy movie except The Outsiders....TOTAL SHIT!

Graveh said...

No, you are lame. And need to get back on the reefer yourself. I always thought Pony Boy was perfect for the role as a whiny puss being tormented by a relentless killer. And Rutger Hauer was the man back then. Hell, I even liked the movie where he played the blind Kung Fu master with his wicked cane/sword. And whatever, Pony Boy was banging Chong's daughter too. He musta had something going on, she was always a hottie. Now I just think you're being difficult. Do I need to send you to timeout with Juan Hernandez?!?!?!?

Jaysus said...

Well, C Tom is a lame lame lame-o.....regardless of what your dumb as says. And Rae Dawn was hot, and C Tom was pretty, so I guess she likes girly boys. I am not being difficult...I just hate The Hitcher. And who the fuck is Juan Hernandez? One of your boyfriends??

Graveh said...

Juan wishes. But then so do you. Maybe you two should hook up, and decide who is gonna be Rae Dawn and who is gonna be... uhh....
I was gonna say the guy but admittedly, C. Thomas is a lil puss. And somehow, that leads me back to the subject of you two.
THE CIRCULAR MOTION OF YOUR EXTREME GAYNESS.
My suggestion is: Let Jay be the bottom, trust me on this one. You don't want his tits slapping up against your back. Also Juan, as you are a latino, it is obvious you must therefore be hung like a pimple. Jay never has been able to take a full load like mine, so he will surely appreciate the "muy chiquitoness" of your shriveled brown pecker. The next move is up to you guys. Good luck on that...