Saturday, July 08, 2006

The WHAMMY JAMMY FRIED CHICKEN QUEEN NATION of DOMINATION...


So on occasion, I hang out and play WHAMMY PLUS on gsn.com, but always as a guest. Earlier tonight, I entered into a game with some regulars. Now first off, let me say that they get PRETTY nasty in the chat going on off to the side AND they dog you, trying to jinx you into a Whammy. So, as it's been awhile and I'm stoned rusty, I do mediocre in the first round. This also helps to lure them into some delusion that I am "easy pickens." I hunker down in the second round and begin answering questions in typical fashion, usually BEFORE the complete question has scrolled down. They are NOT liking this. The final round of spins come and I go first. I can normally hit any spot on the wheel and was dead on once again, over and over. I passed on NINE spins with almost $23,000 in my bank. The lady next to me Whammy'ed out, leaving just the Rube with the NINE spins, in addition to his own. He builds up a mound of cash totalling $16,000, then passes off HIS remaining spins back to ME.
A little taste of my own medicine...?
I think NOT!
An easy solution to my dilemma there was, AND a way to keep him from leaving the game. I wanted him to have hope all the way to the bone crushing end and NOT KNOW WHAT HAD JUST HAPPENED TO HIM UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE. I WHAMMY out right off the bat, enticing him AND moving the other spins to a column that allows me to pass back to him at will. He smells blood. Yet it is not to be so. After raising it back up to $30,000, I hit the BIG BANK and added another $30,000+ to my total. THEN passed SIX spins BACK to his speechless ass.
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE...
(Cue the Queen music!)
It's SO much more fun than playing the computer, I get to attempt (and usually succeed) at predicting real people's reactions to the ass woopin's I dole out. I also get to read the horrible things they write about me in chat. I am semi avoided there by regulars now, but I never shy from battle. I relish in slipping around in the entrails of your gutted egos. Bring that shit. I am like RAINMAN when it comes to useless knowledge and trivia games. People tell me I should be on a gameshow but I'd probably blow it in real life. Who knows, wonder if they'd let me sneak off and get stoned during the breaks. I would then rise to the occasion, clapping my Cheeto stained hands together in "greenbacked" ecstacy, as I mowed my way unmercifully through the dim witted competition with glee and mayhem. I would also like to try my hand at some Texas Hold Em. I'm a pretty good bullshitter, and look like I'm lying all the time anyway. I might not do too bad...

"One man... One goal (BWOMP BW-O-O-MP) One mission."
"One heart... One soul (BWOMP BW-O-O-MP) Just one solution!"
"One flash, of light! (Yeah!) One GOD, one vision!!!"
"Gimme gimme gimme fried chicken"
Yeah...
Let's go!

1 comment:

BigMomma3502 said...

Sounds like a fun game! I tried to play, but it says I have to have GSN on my tv which I don't. Or maybe I just misunderstood. Maybe I'm just DEE DEE DEEEEEEEE!