Coke Swingers in the CLICKless Night...

Catchy title, I know, but I always seem to get into situations that never cease to baffle me.
Like last night, for instance...
We were meant to go to see the new Sandler flick, Click, but then I got the phone call around four in the afternoon.
"Honey?" she said inquisitively. "Can I go to my friend's retirement thing at Jose's, I will only have one or two margaritas, can I, huh, please?"
Figuring I would miss the 7:00 showing, I agreed, knowing that only one theater was showing this soon to be extremely popular film, and it would be much more prudent to hit the later showing, I said, "Sure, why the heck not?!?"
When she gets home, she asks me if we can hit some pool party later that night. When she mentions the names of the hosts, I cringe. I can already feel the creepy vibes wafting off this turd of an idea. I tell her it is a DEFINITE NO GO...
So, I'm getting out of the shower and getting ready for this "extravaganza", due to being weak when it comes to the poonanner, and we head out there. I'm already imagining the drunken buffoons I will have to put up with, everybody likes to hassle the SOBER guy or ask him to ferry more liquor later when they run out. Or berate him for NOT joining in on all that FUN!
Wel-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l...
Fun is my Chinese neighbor's middle name!!!
So we get there, its already 10-ish, and NO ONE IS EVEN THERE, except the hostess and her husband. But she is well on her way, and takes us on a tour of her house, stopping at the pool area thing to plop down and chitchat. She and my wife yak it up while hubby slowly slinks over to my side. He looks down at his ol' lady's form in the bathing suit, back up at me, once more back to her as if I should follow this optical trajectory, then creepily gazes intently at me, asking...
"Wanna do some COKE?"
I had heard from another of wifey's coworkers that they were into "sharing" and EVERYTHING in his tone and demeanor were telling me that he wanted to do this very thing. I felt like being elsewhere, muy pronto, so I just told him that due to a sister coming into town that I hadn't seen in years, it just wouldn't do to look all wild eyed and bushy tailed, not a good idea AT ALL. He looked kind of dejected.
The wierd thing was that his Momma was upstairs in their house! Was SHE gonna join in too? THIS is why I avoid parties like the plague now. When you get older, it ain't speed quarter games and AC-DC anymore, the people get more freakish and perverted in their old age. They've already had much time to become warped and twisted, and I'm just not interested in OTHER people's sick fantasies waiting to be revealed. I also DO NOT want to share what's MINES (unless the swappee is one Katie Couric)!!!!! Yours will do just nicely...
Kidding, but thanks to this load of gobbledy gook I got to miss Click YET AGAIN.
It starts at 1pm today, I'm sure it will be less busy than it was last night, so we will catch it in about two hours. I've already got my fattie drying out. I know it will be hilarious, Walken is in it! Full review later!!!
"Yeah, yeah," you say, "Didn't you say the same about Nacho Libre?"
Yes, but, alas, due to memory overload AND time constraints, the witty and praise filled critique was shelved. You should have SEEN it by now anyway. I DID say it was good already. What do you need?
An invitation...?