Getting in one last post before the month ends. I'm also about to get a serious wake and bake going on up in heeyah. I just cleaned my heavily clogged pipe, and wow.
Great balls of goo-ness!!!
Ok, now that I've cleared my own pipes out, so to speak, I will get right down... to it.
So I'm sitting here off from work for the day. Feeling kind of melancholy, I go to my old Facebook page. I saw that Vampire Wars is no longer around. How sad...
And to see that those in the world who once you interacted with are gone, or moved on to bigger and better things...
I saw an old girlfriend who I'd dated back in '93-'94 has either gotten engaged or married. I'm not all sad and wishing anything, trust me. She had gotten ahold of me back in '10, hoping to bring me back to the fold(s)...
She would send me naughty pics, and then started sending me videos of herself playing with her cooter.
She also talked about how she'd never forgotten about me, and that she'd searched for me for years, even waited at my old work at finishing time to try to catch me. Whether that's true or not really doesn't matter. I felt nothing for her at the time. Then I met someone else shortly after online...
A tragically mistimed catastrophe, twas.
I have seemed to have alot of those through time. Why? Is it due to pussyfooting around?
I...
Have this sort of mistrust of people, I guess. Like: What would/could you possibly be doing with me, if not to make me love you and give my all to you so you can shred me into tiny confetti pieces and blow them off of your open palm into the nothing, the void, the...
Someone has pissed on my kindling, and it refuses to spark.
Sometimes I just want it all to be rainbows and shit, just like the rest of you, and skipping, and feeling the pull of wanting to know what's around the next corner...
Sometimes I just want death.
Sometimes I just want riches, and baubles, and could care less if there were anyone there to share it with...
Sometimes, though, I rap meekly on the glass, hoping to catch someone's, or anyone's, eye, or interest...
Maybe I give up too soon, or do not rap loudly enough. Maybe I'm thinking it would be nice if someone said, "Hey, Ronnie's outside, and it's rainy and stormy as fuck out there!!!"
But such is my paranoia. Even if I saw you clearly mouth these wordly words, I'd swear up and down you never did. Who knows, maybe you verbalized your hopes that I'd be carried away by a swift current and dashed against some hard, and preferably pointy, surface.
Does a scar really help the healing, or does it just numb that area to further and future prodding?
At the mo-mo I can no longer feel the loving embrace, nor want of this.
There is no thrill for the hunt, nor salivations for the tender sweetness of the kill, nor the bloated gloat of the blissfully ignorant...
Only the gut wrench of the ever tightening noose I've so willingly slipped into.
Hey, where you going? Crosshairs back over on me, please...
Anyhoo, enough of that.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flF5aU1iZFo
I wonder what is worse: the fall, or the splat, or the eventual crawl out of the mud?
Or to have never bothered to take the leap?
Do animals know heartache and loss?
Anger and ire?
Burning desire?
Guess what, folks. That's right, the cleft in my chin is back. I was noticing it today whilst taking my kid to school. I just need to get my lazy bootay back in the gym. I have a seven day pass to World Gym, so ehhhh, we'll see. I do like being skinny again, it is just really hard to be all energetic and shit. I will continue the running, once I start it of course, but I'd like to take up a little boxing, especially the training. Not sure if that is something that'd conflict with trying to bulk up or not. We'll see.
Shampooed my carpets all day yesterday. Looks super awesome, I just love laying on it and sniffing deeply. You could eat off it, but I'd be like, "WTF are you doing eating off of my floor, I just spent all day cleaning that shit, you fucking moron?!?"
I mean, wouldn't you?
Ok, well that was enough wah wahhhhhhing for now.
Hoping to have a new desktop semi soon so's I can start doing way cooler shit up in the internet google box machine. I'm so out of touch online nowadays.
Gotta go. Nothing witty to end with.
Later, turd burglers...
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