Blacked Out Forest...

So I flipped out on a chick that worked at Subway today...
Let me, uhhhh... set the scenerio.
I had a rough day at work. I had been forced to sit through a two hour thangie where they tought us to deal with stress. Breathing exercises, all that jazz...
Some stuff I'd actually been taught back in the 70's in elementary school, flexing individual muscles one at a time and then releasing, starting with your feet and working all the way up to your brainpan.
Sure, it's all good for short term release.
"BUT..."
Yes, even your butt.
Stuff from 1967, it even had the date at the bottom, lol. Forty four years old, if you can believe that. I'm even starting to get grey hair, how can even I expect to be taken seriously?!?!?
"Don't even think I'm even coming close to coming near the end."
Coming? Butts? Bottoms, even ENDS?!?!?
Yeah, I know. Ignore them, and they will eventually go away I tell myself. They even did, for awhile, if you can be bothered to backcheck my schnizz...
So, after a day of eating shit at work, as usual...
I go to a local Subway, to ease the pain of existence... with a footlong.
I finally decide to deviate from the norm and order the $5 footlong of the month, a turkey breast and black forest ham on wheat. I do so love wheat bread...
"He deviates further and orders bacon on top of it all."
So bold, so... decadent.
I had actually made smalltalk, and succeeded, and had won over the heart of the chick making my delicious sammich...
As she began beginning a new sammich for the next guy, she had planned toasting his as she added the scrumptuous toppings to mine, a Jabba the Hutt type girly girl waddled out in search of I-dunno-what-the-fuck began pulling on her sammich making gloves ever so slowwwwwwly...
I told her what I wanted: Everything, no pickles, no olives.
"Ew!!!"
EW!!!
Yes, I'm violently allergic to pickles, thanks mom for giving me Roladin. That, and painful stomach cramps I never told you about in the middle of the night.
I tell her that, yes, I want all the sauces. Mayo, Ranch, Chipotle, hot mustard, and vinegar and oil. She replies assholishly that I must really like my sauces.
I can feel the chip on her shoulder. She hated me before this cat and sammich game began.
Then I handed her my debit card...
"I will not continue tonight."
I actually blacked out during the whole shi-bangle...
To be fucking continued...