No One Wins in a Headbutt...

Hello everyone. How is your new year going so far?
Good, good...
Oh, mine?
Ehhhhhh...
So anyway, I broke my hand on New Year's and I didn't see a doctor while I was on vacation.
I thought it would heal so sue me. Now I'm waiting to get in to a specialist Wednesday. I hope they don't have to rebreak my hand. This morning I jerked my pinkie back on the door in the bathroom. I don't think it's healing on its own.
Not good.
So I've barely worked and have seen a buttload of movies. The Book of Eli, Avatar, The Blind Side, The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, Youth in Revolt, Precious, and mostly everything has been ok, nothing special. I really liked Up in the Air and Daybreakers. Sherlock Holmes, the Chipmunks, the Morgans, and a few others have been stinkers.
Tonight I'm thinking about The Road. It looks nice and slowwwwwww, desolate and depressingly dark. I didn't even think it was coming out around here...
As far as what I'm going to do or how long I'm going to be off, I have no idea yet. I'll probably be up to no good, you can bet on that.
I have, however, stopped drinking and smoking. I've stayed pretty strong since day one of 2010 so wish me luck. I still chew tobacco, but not nearly as much and am hoping to wean myself away from it.
Also, lots of exercise. I've been trying to snack only on fruits and vegetables, not much meat other than fish and chicken breast oven baked, and lots of fiber.
That has been the hardest, not cheating or eating late at night. I need to get regular sleep hours as well. Since my hand is broken, I will run and work out my legs until I can play catch up with my upperbody. At least it'll be easier with no flab hanging off me.
I tried to see how much weight I could gain before 2010, but only got up to 191. I think I'm hanging around 180 at the moment. I want to get superlean at about 150-160, then add nothing but muscle after that and stay around 180-190.
Once I start turning on the body sculpting part, I won't put so much into running myself to death like before. That, my lack of eating enough meat or drinking enough water, added to really poor sleeping habits is what killed me in the end. Not to mention other things heaping stress on top of that...

Pride is a dangerous monster. It is easy to feel invincible when heads turn at your every passing.
Oblivious to the warning signs and barricades plowed over, you dunder onwards toward ever nearing doom.
Then you wake up dazed. You've been in a coma for months, possibly years.
You can take the face warmer off now, nurse.
Dreams and plans have turned to dust and blown away.
The complete spectrum of emotions has been run through, you've a sneaking suspicion that it may have been worse than just being all in vain.
Imagine if Buck Rogers had been found, but no so far in the future as he had. Just far enough ahead so that everyone moved on, forgot about him. Found a new life, said to hell with his reckless ass.
Does the dream, like the finish line in a marathon, not hurt so much if you quit after the first mile as opposed to being just so... nearly within reach, yet not so?
At least if you woke up in the 25th century, you could get the shock out of the way from the get go.
To coexist with the beautifully blinding sun, yet to never feel its soothing warmth nor bathe in its light...
To be consumed by darkness instead?
At least there won't be any more crazed, drunken ranting for a very long time.
I never read The Catcher in the Rye, but I read alot about it last night. I'm thinking about finding it. Don't worry, no kooky plans here. They said it's been copied in alot of movies, many of which I liked. I was born in 1972, so I don't see why it would've been banned in the 80's or anything. They made us read things like H.G. Wells and Mark Twain. Although The Time Machine and The Invisible Man were influential in my interests, this book around age 14-16 might have rocked my world.
Amazingly, my favorite book as a kid was Battlefield Earth by L. Ron Hubbard. I still think it's a work of genius that was atrociously dishonored by a movie. If someone ever really tried to make that... WOW.
I also read Stephen King from my older sister, who we all thought was some kind of witch. You have no idea how many times she tried to kill me, even as a baby. But that is another story.
I liked IT, and would love to read The Stand. Most of his stuff was crap though.
As a teen I moved to graphic sci fi/ fantasy, via AD&D Forgotten Realms. Call me a book nerd, but alot of those were #1 best sellers. I also got into alot of Jim Morrison poetry. Wierd.
Now I read anything I can get my hands on. I haven't read anything in a long time, the only thing I have in the bathroom is my handheld Yahtzee game. I'm getting tired of it. Time to find this Catcher in the Rye feller...
So anyway, there's more in this little head but I fear to tread there on this blog. I doubt anyone reads this, but still...
I feels nekked.
If I started another blog, I'd just kill it in anguish like the other.
But regardless what happens in this silly little soap opera called life, remember this:
At some point the zombie horde will sweep across the planet anyway, and the less weight dragging you down the better. They usually make you go back and rescue their poor little puppy or something else sickeningly cute and idiotically innocent.
That's when you get bit. Do you chop off that limb, or do you bind it in hopes of a miracle cure?
One's a surefire way to save yourself excruciatingly fruitless suffering in the long/short run, but you ain't gonna be doing any sweeet Eddie Van Halen licks ever again.
The other is, well... what it is. You drag your semi bloody ass around trying to get right, and in the end you still succumb.
Hmmmm, seems an easy enough decision.
How come I never see any footprints heading down that path...?