No Picture to Share...

Monetize. Just what the fuck does that mean?
And just how much is a human life worth? I'm trying to sort through this shit myself.
I will feel again when our lips touch,
I will feel again, I promise,
I will feel again when it doesn't mean much,
I will feel again when there are things I miss.
I will feel again when my life isn't so chaotic,
I will feel again when it doesn't hurt to feel,
My face feels a tick,
My face feels as if not real,
at times,
My fucking life,
It makes me sick.
I'm good , though, dood. Dood. Dood.
Dood.
I love how when you are at your lowest point everyone up and leaves you. You are worthless. Ha, am I?
I want to scream, I want to hit things. No one seems to be on my side. This is the worst time of my life, but I will be ok. In the end I will be emotionless. I will be like the rest of you. I will(not) think of only myself. I will(not) be motivated by greed. I will(not) be true to the earning of a buck. (Not) (Not).
I saw the Time Traveller's Wife. It was really good. I cried like three times. I saw many parallels in my life, without the love he had. And I broke my finger. It really fucking hurts and I have no recollection of how I did it. I woke up today and my foot hurt, and they were superdirty. I took my kid to the doctor today and I noticed my feet. Looks like a dirty hippy who trampled through a field of shit.
Such is my life, so who cares, right?
I think I'm going crazy sometimes, or am I just feeling? I am so used to being alone, and not caring. I can't even cry anymore. When I don't care, we are all in big trouble. It is much more than just not shaving or cutting my hair. I shuffle my feet, I look at people, yet I don't match eyes.
Like a butterfly, I will open up, I will...
I will.
Then what?