Two Shakes and a Pecker Hoot...

VACATION!!!
All this upcoming week too. I can't wait to not get up at 5:30 am every day and to take my morning dump without having to hurry the process along any. We saw The Hills Have Eyes 2 last night. It really wasn't that good but the kills were nice. Or when people fell to their deaths...
"AAAAUUUUUUUURRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!"
SPLAT!!!
Unfortunately, that's what this movie did. I didn't care much for it and gave it a C because, although it was gory, the characters were lame as fudge and the actual mutants were just plain gay. They looked like rejected ideas from Wrong Turn, or Toxic Avenger suits that had gone horribly wrong. The trailer for this had given me hope, but I was wrong. I love how the first thing a mutated hillbilly wants to do when they "git" you is cornhole the bejesus out of you!!!
"It's jes' wro-o-o-o-o-o-ng!!!"

Soon the hound of hell will be upon us. That's right, I said hound. Singular. Were there more already, we'd not even be having this conversation in the first place.
So, as you can see, I'm gonna be playing alot of Resident Evil 4 while I'm on vacation, and maybe doing a little work on the house and yard if it is nice out. Otherwise my dance card is empty. Maybe a trip to Best Buy in there, or maybe go see the new Sandler flick. I definitely wanna get my workouts done in the daytime and work on a little heat desensitization. Go out and fry a few good times to get those sweat glands tweeked for the coming summer blast. It really does work, and speeds up your metabolism too. Once you get that thing going, it's all downhill. So many people don't realize this...
"A shame, tis..."
I bet at least half the guys on Viagra wouldn't even need it if they'd do a push up or two!!! Cardio is the bomb, folks, and I haven't had an ass cramp slow my groove down in a long time. Not happy with your life? Take up a slow jog on a daily basis and get back to me, you won't be disappointed. Now I know what you wanna know next. Why are the the other half taking Viagra?
They're probably all porn stars, or aspiring. The downside to this is losing vision and I'd wager in the end, your pecker won't be worth a hoot. Or two shakes...
"My way's better, methinks..."
I'm going to some casino in Seneca, Mo in a little while. Time to roll a few and pray for heavy thundershowers...