The Shake-N-Bake-Toe-Jamb-Break!!!

Yesterday I was running around the house. Literally. So I get up, sprint to the left to get out the door, a straight run up through the next room, dodge kids' toys as I veer left yet again, the past the vacuum cleaner strewh haphazardly across the hallway.
"Herein lies my problem..."
As I come racing through my kids' room, I see the vacuum up ahead and try to give it a little extra. But I swing my right foot out a little too wide and catch some sharp ass piece of wood on the door jamb thingie.
OUC-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H!!!
I try to shake it off and finish strong so as not to whimper like a puppy in front of the family, and shamble into the kitchen. I look down and see what looks like my toenail completely ripped off my pinkie toe. And quite alot of blood for a pinkie toe. I make alot of strange noises as quietly as I can and stumble back to my computer room with a paper towel wrapped around my toe.
I sit down in my trusty chair and inspect the damage so's I can bandage it up properly...
"That's not toenail, Bub..."
I realize that it ain't nail...
ALL MEAT!!!
Hurt like a bitch, and throbbed like it does in cartoons sometimes. I cleaned as best I could with alcohol and tightly bandaged it all up, then threw a sock on. Then I had some pills hat made me sleepy. Needless to say, I didn't run tonight. But I'm gonna try tomorrow, maybe a light one if nothing else.
That shit sucks. Why can't this happen to my enemies? I will be ok, however.
Wonder what comes out tomorrow at the theaters...