Kenny Powers Remix, Y'alls...

Yikes, where, oh where have I been?!?
Right now finishing up the last season of East Bound and Down. Gots my kid's XBOX 360 in here to watch some HBOGO. When I'm done, I'll more than likely give it back to him. I haven't checked if they have more, and better, access to movies. HBO OnDemand kind of sucks. Anyhoo...
Right? That's me and Kenny housing it up. Can't you tell by the headphones, and the fact that he's gripping them like he's laying some smooth and creamy jam all over that bread.
What a great show, right up there with a few other greats: Get a Life. ALF. Great, now I can't think of any more right now...
So I've been working out and running again for two weeks now. Looking great, and feeling it, too.
I still have a few cigarettes here and there, but I'm ready to say goodbye for good soon. Also, being at a real gym, and ramming a ton of baked chicken and protein, has bulked me up nicely already. I noticed parts of my upper arm are already getting pretty thick again, and I love it when others notice. Helps me keep going...
Planet Fitness is pretty sweeet. My diet is killer, too. Very low fat, high fiber and protein. Nothing bad at ALL. I keeps it pretty clean. Lots of greens. I have a few last pockets of resistance that will shrink and die soon enough. I am doing a pretty good job of muscle building, though. I have been eating a shit ton of baked chicken, but I also eat alot of peas, or beans of different kinds, or lentils, and such. If there's beef around, as long as it's not some gristly, fatty piece of death, I will scarf it down. I don't do it all the time, but when I go to a buffet like Golden Corral, I fill up as much as I can. I really don't want to get down to 150ish again.
Buffer, I say, but still extremely tight. I want definition, I also have access to way better ab machines, and more diverse. I have three that I do daily, but I like to change things up here and there with a random other machine.
Yeah, I love when I'm like this. I'm probably annoying to people, but they can see what I do works in a very short time. Plus, no vagina neck. My skin is kind of loose, but it'll shrink. I'm looking for a more permanent style fit look for me. No more falling off the wagon, or tobacco love. I will still toke, of course, but it actually truly is medicinal to me. Works wayyy better than any antidepressant I ever took. They all made me want to just die...
Anyhoo, time to smoke while I am still weak for them. I wish I could share so much more on here, but I always seem to begin to clam up on here as I go along. Sadly...
So much weirdness in my life, probably most of it my fault, or some penance I must pay to some vindictive shadowy figure, literally and metaphorically...?
I tire of deep thinking, or being forced to listen to other lesser beings make feeble attempts at doing so. I get it, it's all some fucked up "everybody's got a perspective on things"...
I get that.
My problem is that 99.99999999% of the world is full of people whose perspective is straight up:
FUCKED.
I guess it has always been like this, and will continue to do so well after my bones crumble to dust.
Makes you wonder why anyone, other than the shitheels of this planet, would want to be immortal.
Would I, could I, I would use my indestructibility to punish the evildoer. It would also help to be able to reach large masses to be able to "judge" them as "aight" or "fucked" and award accordingly.
I could just go to prisons and sweep my arm across a field of prisoners, and the savable will watch the rest writhe and burn. No one would be safe from this watchful eye. But, most would be safe, as most do not want more than just to be happy. Sadly, they usually don't rule, just suffer.
I don't feel very optimistic about all that lovey dovey shit right now, but ehhhhh...
It's all good, though I weep for the future.

The Legendary SEVERED PENIS Story...

This be my graduated child with her cousin's girlfriend. Extremely proud of she. Her be smart even though her don't speak in a robot voice.
Wow, we saw the new XMEN movie, Days of Future Past, and wow, wow, and wow. I loved it. The best parts to me were in the future when they are being wiped out by the Sentinels. It was pretty brutal, with two being worth mention. First was when Bobby/Iceman gets grabbed in his ice form and his head is broken free of his neck. The next was when Colossus was pulled apart at the waist. Both of those scenes had me agape, I wasn't expecting it to be what it was. The only thing I knew they wouldn't put in but should've was that they should've both reverted back to normal form when dead. I'm sure it was brought up, but decided against due to wanting to keep a PG13 rating...
Maybe we can get a rougher version when the blu ray hits, which I will have to add to everything else. The XMEN films are the only thing I have in entirety other than the last Spiderman trilogy, which I also lurve...
I'd really like to get all the Avenger and the solo films on blu ray. I pretty much only have the 3D THOR 2.
I do also have Man of Steel and Green Lantern, and a few more in there, but I'd love them all.
I'm hoping to get, like, the Captain America ones on blu ray when the next/last one comes out so I'll have a sweeet box set. Also the Phase One box sets would be nice. I wish they'd went ahead and redid the Hulk, still makes me sad. I need/prefer continuity...
Anyway, three day weekend. Killer Kush hurr with me, so it is all tolerable that there are idiotic people here drinking and playing some card game for money, not sure WTF it's called, though.
I saw only one person of lates is bothering to read this craptastic blerg, wonder who they be...?
I was doing a pretty good job of posting alot, but then it all goes to poo sometimes, doesn't it?
I would love to have another desktop and privacy like I had before because I loved the "on the fly" posting awesomeness I did here in the beginning. I'm still occasionally snazzy, but I was spot on back then.
I guess an upswing is long overdue. But, yeah, desktop. I hate this laptop, all hunched over it.
Another quick thangie: Norm MacDonald is back with his podcast. Took forever, wonder what ever did happen to him. He looks wayyy better now, and the show is funnier so far than last years bunch. Meeting Norm would be amazing. Not sure how I'd feel if he was a douche, probably crushed. I would still love to, I could easily just quietly just sit near him as he tells stories like nobody's business. There would be no forced laughter, or uneasy non eye contact awkwardness...
Like the story I got hurled at me today. I will save the SEVERED PENIS STORY for another day.
Don't forget to remind me.

The Boogaloo Shrimpfest Buffet: Breaded, Dreaded, and Jerry Curl Netted...

Ahhhh, da wind, she doth bloweth, on me no less...
We could dance the party all night and drink some cherry wine?!?
Probably not, besides he's dead, Jimbo.
I just now realized how coincidental it is that I post a gif of David Spade and I'm about to go rewatch his comedy special I dvr'ed last weekend. It is a pretty good one, and I also recorded a Patton Oswald one that needs to be watched and purged of. Not sure if I'm going to get it done tonight, but we'll give 'er...
Na na na naaahh, na-na-nahhhhhh...
Now some extended Don't Dream It's Over for mein own listening pleasure. So well placed in the miniseries they did of The Stand, I liked it after that, yet not before. Hmmmm, go figure...
So many...
Dot dot dots.
Yet none for dipping, as always seems the case in a dive like this with the things and the boobie tassles, no?
I should've known when I saw the sign that said FREE BREAKFAST with cover charge. I get inside, and what do I get?!?
Lies, lies, lies. No fries, just lies. And boobies, lest we forget...
Because the sign was nothing more than a ruse, really. Shorn and slick as sliced slaw on the halfshell.
Don't bother deciphering this, it makes no sense to mein ears and eyes neitherly and netherly.
Ok, then. Time for a few mustard and biscuits before Mama comes in for my Bible lessons...
Peace out, Sniglets.
Btw, Chaka Khan might feel for you, but I do not. Not unless that funkeh bass line is poppin'...
And lockin'...

Would a Little More Glove Make It Right...?!?

Wow, not sure how that sweeet picture got onto my laptop, but here she be.
Anyway, Happy Mother's Day to all y'all muthas out thurr.
I cleaned up the yard and much more today. I also ended up BBQing for my wife and some peoples. I then called my own dear Mammy. She pretty much spent it bitching me out, though, over random stuff. It's ok, though I had to straighten her out on a few tidbits. She's been listening to Sandy's version of the past, where I'm some drugged out douchebag "that ever gonna 'mount to nuthin'..."
It kind of hurts when they do that, as I was straight up lovable, son.
Anyway, I softened it up by the end of it. I hope she chills on that shit next time, I just want to try to enjoy some chit chat. I'm cool, though, not mad. Just wondering WHY sometimes...
If anything as a teenager, I more disappeared: POOF!!!
I spent alot of time out there learning about stuff no one wanted to be around to teach me that should've.
Forget about that right now, as will I. I just wanted to call her and have some happiness funtimes...
Maybe all the sun I got today will brighten spirits, as will this sweeet cheebness.
And some Olivia Newton Johnson!!!
Or some Matthew MconaughHEY!!!
Ok, gang, something went flippy on my whatnot hurr. Back atcha, naw!!!

Of Our Elaborate Plans, The End...

Yikers, my battery power on this thang is draining quickly, however...
I wanted to shock and awe with two posts two days in a row.
Fight, fight, fight!!!
Hitler's bday just passed on Easter Sunday, for those who didn't know.
He is pissed, btw, that you forgot.
It's not like he did anything to shape the current world as we know it.
Anyhoo, great revelations, even if they are/were in mein own mindschkull....
It is Sunday, so I'm going to grill out some bacon cheese burgers and fry up some serious tots.
I'm also going to cook up this nice steak I picked out. I'm going to try to hit the diet hard this week and get out on the pavement. I want to see how my body takes it, then think about getting back to the gym.
I had some thoughts last night, and they really turned the corner inside.
Not sure what up, but thangs are coming, hope they are dang sweeet.
Peace out, my niggs.

Mime Kampf...

Let me just pause for a moment and take another sip of pineapple juice real quicklike...
I like how it makes my salivary glads go into overdrive and continue to flood my mouth with spit well after the deed has been done.
Anyhoo, long time no see. Saw Amazing Spiderman 2 the other night. A+ all the way. The next morning I went out and bought the Raimi trilogy on blu ray for $20.
!!!BAM!!!
Now I'm sitting hurr on the bed listening to Jermaine Stewart on Youtube talking not having to take my clothes off. Guess he should've been more concerned with fluid leakage...
Nah nah nahhh nana nahhhh, nah nahhhhhhh.
Yup, went thurr.
Anway I can't say I've been super busy, just super slovenly. My kid has her prom tonight, and apparently hates her 'do being given to her by some chick friend of her mom. Later, not sure what's going on. Might hit the casino, or might hit Fayetteville to hook up with some friends. It's a coin toss, really.
I am kind of tired of being here, though. Maybe I just need to get out.
Uhhhh, what else?
Seeing alot of movies. I would love to find a quick and inexpensive way to expand my blu ray collection.
I also need to get a blu ray compatible tv in my room. How can I watch Knocked Up otherwise?!?
Anyway, now I'm being gophered into buying beer and oil to make flautas.
Such is life. I bid you that really hard to spell French word...
Surrender.................................................................................................................................?

BoysieZ to MensieZ...

Reminiscing again on those good old days...
Senior year, my friend was a manager of a Subway on Kearney that was run by his roommates. When I went there we would smoke a joint behind the store, and then anything we wanted to make was ours for the taking...
The thing about all this I remember the most is/was the smell. It was the smell of delicious sub meats and all their toppings: vegetable, mineral, and otherwise.
The smell of a brave new world about to open itself upon mein doorstep. The smell of the future.
Never mind the rancid smell of naive youth decomposing somewhere off in the corner...
To become an adult just as fresh off the vine picked.
So anyhoo, today we saw Oculus. Boring and predictable.
I also went to a meeting, where there was nowhere to sit. Some guy left, or so I thought. I went to his seat, and the athiest guy was giving me shit over it, like I'm supposed to be scared of Ted, some old fucker that mad dogs me all the time. I told him if Ted came back, which I didn't think he would, then I'd move.
Apparently he just must've took a big old shit because he did come back. He looked at me all weirdly as I moved back onto the old feetsies. I was fine with it, but him and athiest douchebag were whispering shit to each other shortly after. Anyway, I didn't get into any ruckus. Later, a spot opened up, and I sat there for a few minutes before I left. No biggie.
Btw, Keith called me yesterday as he'd gotten out of the pokey. It was also his one year of not drinking and such. I'm texting with him now, hope all goes alot better for him. He's a cool bean, but life tends to fuck with the good ones and give all the bad people the happy life. Hope he wins out, if I ever won big, I'd hook a nigga up. Make him work for it, though. He'd have to be my bodyguard and carry a gun. Roll doobies, and pistol whip ruffians and foolish knaves all up in my business...
Tired, I is. Surprised I posted this much. So much I wish I could just barf up on the screen.
Too bad I'm a lazy fuck.
Back atcha, laterz.

Sack Boon...

Hey guys and gals...
Wow, over two months away from hurr. I didn't really forget, I just felt nothing needed to be added to this tawdry tale at the mo-mo. Anyhoo, I feel great. I have the day off, and the tokeness is on the upswing. I am currently partaking whilst perusing my faves list on the blu ray Youtube thangie.
I have been doing alot of pondering, and alot of...
Mental jumping jacks. I welcome all comers, as well as the goers. Bring that schnizzle.
For rizzle...
I'm hoping the weather is on the upswing as well. It has been cold and gloomy as fuck here since I don't know when. No?
I'm hoping to get that gym membership deal going, and getting my run on again, too. I've even made a promise to give up the cigarettes AND chewing tobacco. I have some tweaks to my all around program this time, and I think they'll be a doozy. I'm tired of my back always hurting, and pretty much my whole arms. I'm not really fat anymore again, I just need to trim off the goo and bulk up the beefy parts.
I do have a very nice frame, I'm thankful for that. I see alot of people out thurr, and I wonder what kind of troll spat them out of its vagina. Even fit, they'd still be creepy as fuck. I know, I'm a douchebag, lol...
I feel nothing but anger.
HULK SMASH!!!
Kidding, I rarely feel anything but the fuzzies of late. Not all the time, I have my moments...
But they are rare. I finally feel like it all has been lifted off of my chest for the most part. I just want to put myself into position for the sweetness of life again.
I immediately pictured a world with man sized ferrets that you can dance with, and skip, and love on each other. Get all snuggly...
Ugh. I've been drinking coffee all day so far, and playing Candy Crush. I need to get up and around, do some thangs. I am dressed, though. I'm not a complete neanderthal.
Back soon...
P.S. Go see Knights of Badassdom. It lives up to its name.

Here We Is...

Hey, world. Check me out!!!
Currently fighting back the creeping cruds, I'm debating whether to watch The Place Beyond The Pines or go with a Conan marathon. Also...
My nose feels thoroughly reamed out due to the Dristan spray/battery acid squirtied up my nostrils.
Yeah, I said squirtied...
We went to Johnny Carino's last night for my son's 22nd birthday, though I was too nauseous to really enjoy my pepperoni burger. I actually threw up about half of it when I got home. I will say I'm proud of him for turning out as good as he has. I don't have to worry about him drinking, or drugging, or needing us to bail him out. He also works dilligently, and all that. We had our stepdad/stepson issues back in the day, but that all seems to be in the past now.
Anyhoo, one more day off from work. I need to see about getting around to getting my prescriptions today. I got a much stronger antibiotic this time around, plus a refill. I never seemed to really get better from the last one in November.
I'd like to change alot of things in my life: patterns, weaknesses, all that. It has been much harder this time around to straighten up. But here we is...
I really wish I had more to say, but that's about it. My head is still filled with goo. I just wish, and feel like, there was more to this existence than just toil, toil, toil.
I would love to have shit tons of money. True, I would hermit up and hide out from the masses, but I'd find a way to do good in the world, without an agenda I might add. But here we is...
Blah blah, that's all it feels like.
Giving my promotion to a couple of chicks with no knowledge of the job?
Still butthurt a bit over that. Must toke. Must kush out...

Crop Dusted by the Football GAWDS...

Now, I'm going to start by saying that if the K.C. Chiefs had won this weekend, they'd be gracing this post with their presence...
Yet, alas...
So sad about that game. I wanted... nay, expected MORE. I watched the game with some douchebags that claimed to be rooting for my beloveds, yet they high fived alot for Indy. WTF, brah?!?
We did lose the game, though. Sad, but true. About every damned play they'd carry another one of our guys off the field, starting with Jamaal Charles on the very first series. I won't blame him leaving screwing us out of the game, because we scored most of our points after he left. Once we lost running back #2, we were fucked. All we had left was McCluster. I like him, but he is just too teeny tiny to be carrying any kind of load. In the end, I will lick my wounds until next season. REmember, this is practically a carbon copy of Indy last year. Maybe NEXT year will hold the ultimate prize for us. Who knows?
Anyhoos...
Watching the Green Bay game now, or I'm blogging whilst I can hear my wife cussing the screen in the other room. Must not be good...
Please, GAWD, do not let Denver or San Diego, or Indy win the fucking Superbowl. Mainly Denver, though.
Fuck those guys, and Manning gets double.
About to finish up BBQing some wingies in the oven after this is done, and watching As I Lay Dying, with James Franco and my main man Danny Motherfucking McBride. Looks serious...
Seriously DA BOMB, yo.
I will say I'm kind of tired of Franco pushing for an Oscar for pretty much playing Riff Raff in that stupid Spring Break movie. I heard, from Riff on FB, he was paid some dough to shut up about it all, and that he'd been asked first to be in it. Guess they just decided to mimic him instead...
OK, guy. My job is done here. Blah blah and yada yada.
End scene.
Closing credits...

Happy New Year, Snapperheads...

Hey there, people. It's a brand new year and all that.
I'm kind of tired, I've had long days at work all week. They've also been a mental challenge, so I'm drained.
I went to some crappity crap earlier, and was miserable there. I just wanted to sleep, not hug smelly strangers...
For some reason I don't really feel very swell right now. I keep trying to get a spark going, but it is futile, I'm just to pooped to stay up and watch movies and stuff all night.
I also have to work Thursday and Friday, so it's not much of a real stay up all night kinda night.
Not really much is going on. I called my dad earlier, all is good there.
Blah blah blah.
Anyway, Happy New-New!!!
May the year give you genital warts, or that HPV virus thangie women get...

Baby Jesus and the Captivated Audience...

Twas the day after Xmas,
And all through the casa,
Not a creature was stirring,
'cept dis lord and massah,
Stockings still hung,
And all of that schizzle,
Smoking some bud,
So what's the big dizzle?!?

Went to Missouri yesterday to hang with my parents. We had fun, ate some pizza, shot some shit. It's so weird when I visit because, although I'm extremely happy to see them, I pretty much either hide or clam up.
Go figure...
Anyhoo, what did I get?
The blu-ray that has all the XMEN movies on it, including the new Wolverine. I also got some nice Walking Dead drinking glasses. I do like it, but I'm really not ever going to do anything with them. If I break them out of the packaging, someone will actually break them. I wonder how much he paid for them, I could've gotten something a bit more play aroundable. Yeah, I know that's not a word, but what are you gonna do?
So, I'm amazingly close to one year without drinking, six days to be exact. Who cares, right?
My week of vacation is almost over, as well. Next week I'll be appearing at George's all said week. Not sure what the plan is for New Year's, but she said she'd like to not drink, which is fine by me. I really don't feel like taking care of anyone, or taxiing motherfuckers from shantytown to shantytown...
Did some online stalking earlier, to no avail. Guess you really don't want to hear from moi. Guess life is great, life is grand. I'm happy for you. Here's to you slipping on a patch of ice and smacking the back of your head, a la Liam Neeson's wife. Kidding, but not, though I feel nothing for you personally anymore. It is more of a hole that itches in my chect cavity from time to time.
Wah wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Followed by a hearty LOL!!!
Why do my hands smell weird?
Oh yeah, I scooped out a few handfuls of dogfood earlier. It wafts faintly reminiscent of breakfast cereal and pee...
Anyway, merry fucking XMAS, world. Keep wasting away, and keep showing me how classy you are by worshipping all the worst thangs possible. And thanks for trying to tie a nigga down. I will win the day. I will win the battle, and the whole damned war.
Someday...
I will beat this game.
I wonder how much sense this whole blog would even mean to anyone who reads it from start to finish. Does it even? Almost eight years...
Wish I still had the other one. It was quite witty, and sad, and pathetically ooey gooey. Every post title was a song, and always relevant to the topic, and my heart. It is dead now, though. My muse escaped her self made prison, though I didn't even know I was charged with holding her captive...

Merry Clitmas...

Lookie durr.
Tis the day befurr XMAS, and I've only tres posts for the month o' Deciembre.
I, of course, am off this week. We saw Anchorman 2 last night. I will only say that I really wanted to like it more than I did. It was very reminiscent of This is 40 in this manner. Knocked up was soooooo much better, and to take away the gang and focus on other schnizz kind of helped my expectations completely ruin any chance of me digging on it.
Anyhoo, it was still about Ron, but they really made Brick annoying, and totally fagged out Champ this go round. The cameos were top notch, but I missed Ben Stiller. Got Jim Carrey, though...
I just think they let Will Ferrell go on too long with his "improv", and sometimes it's just not that good. Maybe they're too afraid to tell him when his schtick blows.
Maybe they're blowing his schtick...
It's a crapshoot, really, on the answer. Guess you better consult your lucky eight ball; shake it up, then shoot it up.
Then suck it up, if'n ya can-can...
I'm sooooo tired, but I have to finish strong hurr. Next week I'm offline at Whore-Gays. I better not have to work New Year's Day, dammit.
Anyways, gotta split. My brain just emptied out, nothing but air again.
Sounded like a socka bawl...

You Can Eat Crackers in My Bed Anytime...

Hey, gang. What's the dilly? How ya been? Dubya tee to the eff? I've been slacking this month, aint I? Yeah...
Anyhoo, waiting on that promotion, hoping I do not get passed by. Probably will, but please don't let me get beat out by anyone else from my plant. I mean, come on. Really...
Such stress, to be followed by loads more if I even get the jerb. Fuckity fuck, and back for seconds, eh?
Either way, it's just another nail in the old proverbial coffin. Blerbity blerb...
Worked in Cassville, Missouri today at a George's plant. A few cuties, one really teeny tiny. But, then again, tiny is as tiny does. So weird to be somewhere new and what not, getting the glances of people I will most likely never cross paths with in the again-gain. Wonder if anyone gave me a second thought, and if it was even worthy of note...
Bleak skies today, affecting my mood along with it. It all crumbles...
It all crumbles.
Now to enjoy Full Metal Jacket with my only beloved of the brood, my blood. Mein...
Wunderkind.
Take it away, Barb!!!

Butt, Butt, in the What...?!?

Aww, hells naw!!!
Looks as though November was a bit on the barren side. Guess I should atone for this travesty.
Today it snowed like the dickens. It actually started yesterday as sleet, cleared up in the late afternoon, then flaked out later in the evening until early this evening. Doused...
Yesterday we were let out of work early, but I was to report to another plant so that one of their own lazy bastards could take off in anticipation of the looming storm. I was resigned to this fuck over, then the rest of the neighboring plants all decided to close, leaving mine as the lone straggler. These people were also told that they wouldn't have to burn any leave. However, if any of us already loaned out couldn't make it in, we'd have to use it in addition to probably getting hassled for having the audacity to not want to die on the way there. Then more of the plant's original inspectors started to call in, making more of my group have to fill in. Then the phone calls come in, and my team is pissed. Rightly so, but what can I do to stop the shit avalanche about bury us? Luckily, they finally caved in and closed down. Not much a guy can do, but it wouldn't happen in the future. Sure, they'll just find a new way to fuck us.
Le sigh...
Anyhoo, my wife is sloshed and wants me to brave the blizznizz. She wants cigarettes, and I wouldn't mind one, so she's lucky this time. I don't wanna get dressed though. Lazy. Cold.
Watching commentary for a movie.
As far as ME is concerned: I guess I feel better about everything again. I still somewhat lack real motivation. but I feel New Year resolution all over this bitch. I just really want to force feed myself a shit ton of protein. I do so hate to eat, not sure why. Just do whatever it takes to regain where I used to be before the fall. Too bad I'm not early 30's anymore. I also realize that there is no point in lamenting, whilst the evil wrongdoers continue to climb to the top. Fuck those chuckleheads, it is time to take my shit back from those who do not deserve the self accolades they poo upon theyselves...
I think a dash of bitterness can definitely serve as a spark to flame the fuck out of the dry tinder of flabby unfabbiness. In the end, I'm sure no one cares in the end, but in the end...
The desired point of it all is not care about such paltry thangs anymore, no?
The name no longer crosses my lips on a daily basis, but there is a soreness. A pang...
For the 'tang?
Not even for that...
What, then?!?
A horizon to gaze upon...
That even though some cool shit might be wayyyyy the fuck off to get to, that at least it was there and attainable. Why does the world want to fence me in? I've laid a few miles of barbed wire and pole in my lifetime, is this my karmic penance for the offending puncture?
I now watch want wither away to be replaced by basic need. Dreams gone, only fitful near wakefulness...
I need that weird chamber Luke was in at the Hoth Base in Empire. Leave me in there, and let me get some serious prune hands...
The name no longer crosses my mind's lips...
The visage is blurred...
More so now just an empty space waiting to be filled, but too tender and raw to take in a new tenant.
Time to go drive in the snow now.
Wish me luck!!!

Gotta Crawl Before You Walk, Al...

Guess who's sick at home, languishing/anguishing on the couch?
Oui, moi!!!
Ha, took two years of French, and not a damn thang took. So now I'm just chilling here, watching all the daily crapcrud on TV.
Dr. Phil, wow. Some douchebag was on there, the one who won Survivor: China. Wah wahhhhhhhhh, I won a bunch of money and now my life is overrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...
I hate people so much. The guy sure did dive headfirst into drinking. Three liters a day? I find that hard to believe from a pipsqueak like him. I didn't watch the whole show, but I'm guessing it's all because he's gay.
Big fucking deal, dood. Get over it, it's no longer shunned in our society.
Try putting your big pants on, perhaps.
Can you imagine what someone who isn't a tool could do with the money?
Anyhoo, enough of that. I tire if it all.
Also, did some online stalking today, or tried to.
You win for today, though...
It is funny how far someone will go to hide themselves. I guess I should feel honored, or special, or...
Firmly rebuked?
Nahhhhhhh, I'm good.
The question in the final round of Family Feud was: How many times have you had your heart broken?
Lol, for shits and giggles I would've said, "Every time, Al. Every... damned... motherlovin'... time."
Then I'd wait for the "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww"s to rain down on a brutha...
Ugh, at some point I need to go pay the gas bill. It is sooooo cold outside.
Also, my Chiefs were completely robbed by that other asshole team that shall not be named. Those referees...
No longer unbeaten, but far from over. I knew we'd lose it, but beat them again in a few at home. How about those Detroit Lions, though? The Packers better get their guy back before it's too late.
K.C. / Seattle Superbowl, I'm calling it...

Swoopity Doop...

Ahhhh, to be a superhero: flying, swooping, making those killer landings...
Ugh, I'm feeling a bit sick today. My sinuses are gushing, and my throat is all super scratchy. I'm sitting at home whist the others are all at some crap birthday party. Blerrrggggghhhh.
16 days into No Shave November, and I'm already done with this stupid face hair. It may not last the night, but we'll see. I will take a nice picture if I make it until then. Who knows, it may get better and I may keep it.
Anyhoo, sleep.
Well, after I pick a kid up from work.
Peace out, niggs.

Don't Let Your Son Go Down On Me...

Cheeky bugger, I is.
Busy week. I'm currently halfway through the month without but a lone post under my belt for the month of November. It's been hard to find time to mentally jizz all over blogger, let alone sans the watchful eyes of the prying, ravenous masses...
Hungering for my attention at the celebrations. Or, maybe, they just need a ride to and fro.
Gotta move on...
So, lets.
I worked at another plant today, on the floor. Easy day, perfect companion to a Thursday I spent watching others do all the work whilst I entertained other notions, and petted a few fuzzy, furry bunnies.
I'm really getting the hang of shmoozing the boss types to enjoy many of the creature comforts they partake of on a more regular basis than I...
Now, I do not mean I'm shamelessly pandering to their bullshit. I have not, nor will not, ever grovel(ed)...
Somehow that didn't come out right. Anyhoo, I just open my mouth and let the fun times pour out. People seem to like it, so WTF brah?!?
It seems to be setting me up for some semi near future plannings in the bigger scheme workwise, which is fine with me. My plans/hopes/dreams are that I will end up somewhere I rarely have to see another living soul.
There's a big brouhaha at work over a post some idiot coworker posted about my boss, which in turn was relayed to her. She apparently does not like this sort of thang.
So blah blah they end up screaming at each other in the breakroom. I'm hanging out with the two other doods that were working with me this week. It's those darned womenfolk everytizznizz...
I'm just ready to get on with it all, get away, make more money doing wayyyyyy less.
Don't we all...?
I often wonder what the outside person thinks when they read my ramblings. I feel like here, as out there in the big bad wide world, I have too many inside jokes going with myself. Or...
I have too much inner monologue going on that often I think the rest of you are in on it. Not sure if that makes any sense, but there you go. What are you going to do? Don't tell me how to live...
Up next, the new Percy Jackson movie in about 45 minutes. Funjinx.

Pap Slappy...

Howdy, folks. Check out this beautiful specimen, won't you now, hey?
I made this. She's such a cutie pie. She went to take some Senior pictures with her friend's mammy, who took the pictures, a graduation present for my awesome kid. Yay!!!
I can't wait to see the rest of the pictures, but I will await the finished product. I don't want to get all up in the lady's business. I can wait, since I have the real kid to smack around at mein own leisure...
Kidding on the slapdoodle.
So anyway, party up in here apparently. I hope it's winding down because I kind of have a headache anyhoo. Some guy had his kid here, and that little fucker was crazy. He needed to beat that kid's ass good actually. You can love your kid, sure...
But you have to teach him not to act like a freaking crazed monkey on crack cocaine.
That's a whole deal that I don't have the will to type out. Hope the kid chills out.
Tomorrow the Chiefs will hopefully woop some more ass, this time in Buffalo.
I will also watch the new Walking Dead episode. Carol needs to hurry up and hug a zombie.
WTF?!?
Also, Tyreese went ballistic on a horde of zombies around him with only a hammer, and doesn't even get bit?
Hmmmmmmmmmmm...
Ok, lay in the dark time. My head is throbbing.

Vroom Vroooooooom...

 So...
I'm on vacation this week. Yay for me!!!
However, I do seem to be waxing wistfully this morning. I feel like a guy hitching his way into the next heart, so I can ravage, pillage, and then toss it all to the side of the road as I speed off in your sweeet new ride.
That's right, I'm a baller of the worst kind...

 What's that, you say? Having trouble staying awake on your long venture out into the big bad world?
I will keep you on more than just your toes, young ladyfriend. Hell, you may even come out of this with shell shock...
Let alone the heebie jeebies from the kind of shit I shall put you through. Blah blah suck it.

In the end I will flash my Jim Morrison-esque smizzle dizzle, and all will be well once again. Well, once you scrape yourself off the pavement.
Actually, none of this is true. I will graciously receive said ride, muster up enough small talk to not make it all completely awks, and then will slink out when I reach as far as you will let me get.
NO FURTHER TOWARDS MY DESTINATION THAN WHEN WE STARTED.
All that stuff we see in the movies, so fucking silly. Yeah, June Carter nursed old Johnny back to health, and staved off Lucifer's advances...
What a load of malarkey. Everyone in this world is out for themselves. Starter project, my ass. Fixer uppers...
Got something?
Well, you better believe someone wants it, and not just to use/share it with you. They want to take it away, and probably give it to some other douchebag. Fuck you, world.
Ok, so in other news: my beloved CHIEFS are 8-0. They beat the Cleveland Browns, barely, yesterday. I do so hope they can go to, and win, the Superbowl. I need this. I deserve this.
The Missouri Tigers found a way to lose in double overtime this weekend, ending their undefeated run. I saw they slid from #5 to #9. Could've been worse, but at least they're doing wayyyyyyy better than last year.
The St. Louis Cardinals are also tied up in the World Series. Hope they win, they're always the tits in my book.
What else? The Walking Dead is almost halfway through their opening run of 8. Lots of thangs going on, hoping it'll all get clearer soon. Too much drama, not enough smashing. Please tell me it's not going to be like that if it ever comes?
I want to bash and smash my way through, not have to get all feely with a chick that'll probably get wasted before I even get to hit it and make her hate my guts...
Ugh, not in a good mood today, but do I ever post when it's not all gloom and doom?
I just don't care to get to know any of you anymore. You interrupt my shit, and cause me to have to recalibrate my shit.
I want a coma, or maybe even just a blow to the back of the head to put a nigga down once and for all.
I want to be loved and left alone.
I want you to touch me, but only my private naughty jungle of love, then get the fuck out.
I want you to make me a sandwich, but I don't want you to make it the way you make it. I want you to make it with your feet whilst on fire and juggling machetes.
I want you to succeed at failing and fail at succeeding.
I want to know what I want, though I have no fucking clue as to what it might even be...
Is it bigger than a breadbox?
In the end nothing I feel was mentioned in this post. Everything I have attempted to convey, however feebly, has gone awry. It is now officially a bust. Maybe someday I'll be somewhat witty again, occasionally even downright almost funny. But that day is not today. I doubt tomorrow will be much different.
Someone give me money, loads of it.
And a really fast car for the big getaway...