May 1981 and a 1991 Cure flashback...

So...
This was when my life was the coolest. No bills, no worries...
And I had absolutely no idea what pussy was in any way, shape, or fuzzy form. Actually, although it doesn't look as glamorous now, we were styling back then. We also lived in a brand new house with lots of room. With exception of the birth of my daughter, my life has never been happier than in this picture. I know I look happy in my later years too, but I mean pre drugs and alcohol life. I would smoke pot for the first time around a year later, too.
Ahem...

Segway, please?
Here is me around 1991 maybe? Using Sandy's camera to snap surprise pic in the middle of a main street in Springfield, lipstick crosses on forehead and all.
Eat your heart out Robert Smith!!!
Back in my senior year of high school, I dated a weird punker chick that was only 14 or 15. Very interesting hangouts with her, I dumped her shortly before she got the mohawk. Once I gots a little more money, nicer threads, and a car, choicer pieces of ass followed. I'm sure Einstein has a theory on it somewhere...
What, you disbelieve?!?!?!?!
I wish I had more pics from this time period. I was one wild lil sumbitch!!!

Spike, You Lazy Eyed Halfling!

I will keep this short and sweet.
Spike Lee?
I hate you. There, I've said it. I saw your interview on the net yesterday. And you are full of shit.
The rest of you need to wake up. He's the kind of guy that takes us back a few steps. And that is not good.
And did I mention he is full of shit?
What will you do when THE MAN is gone?

WTC, the 411 on 9/11!

WTC. Saw it. Wasn't as impressed with as I was Flight 93. I already remember what the pain of that day feels like. I did, however get a view from that day as I hadn't pondered before.
The one from under the rubble. From the gasping voices of number 18 and 19 out of twenty to be pulled out alive. A courageous story, indeed, but a little long in the tooth. I think we can dispense with the niceties now...
Stick a fork in it, it's done.
When I'm sitting in a theater, more interested in rooting out chucklers to whup the tar out of, then it is time to move on to the next underappreciated tragedy. I can give remembrances in my own special way from here on after.
We were also the youngest in the audience too. When it was over, you could have heard a mouse fart. Creepy.
I give it a strong B. I just wasn't in the mood for it. I need zombies. Things Crunching.
Tacos...
I bought all the ingredients but must have grabbed the wrong thing on a few of them. Whole black beans instead of refried, a pain in the ass but still easily remedied. Instead of grabbing the superfilled 18 pack of taco shells, I snagged a 12 shell deal that came with seasoning packet and sauce. What a dumbass!
So I will now leave you, as I have to head back to the Neighborhood Market and grab some more shells. My kids and I have been craving crunchy tacos for the longest time. Twelve just won't do. It never does.
First day of school tomorrow. I don't have to worry about my kids burning the house down for awhile. Now I just have to worry about the freaks out there!!!
What a trade-off...

Did I mention...?

That Charlie don't surf?
An-n-n-n-nd it's my birthday!

Charlie don't surf and we think he should
Charlie don't surf and you know that it ain't no good
Charlie don't surf for his hamburger Momma
Charlie's gonna be a napalm star

Everybody wants to rule the world
Must be something we get from birth
One truth is we never learn
Satellites will make space burn

We've been told to keep the strangers out
We don't like them starting to hang around
We don't like them all over town
Across the world we are going to blow them down

The reign of the super powers must be over
So many armies can't free the earth
Soon the rock will roll over
Africa is choking on their Coca Cola

It's a one a way street in a one horse town
One way people starting to brag around
You can laugh, put them down
These one way people gonna blow us down

Charlie don't surf he'll never learn
Charlie don't surf though he's got a gun
Charlie don't surf think that he should
Charlie don't surf we really think he should
Charlie don't surf

Snakes? Ebert? Italian Meatloaf? Muthaf**kin' Planes?

Well, I must say, I'm flabbergasted and at a loss for words.
"Why?" you ask.
Snakes on a MUTHAFUCKIN plane!
That's why!!!
Shaft was in there too. How fitting, as I felt quite shafted myself.I had planned on seeing World Trade Center but Snakes was rated R, and I didn't want to leave any kids' eyes and ears unprotected. And it started way later, about thirty minutes. So I spent about an hour and forty minutes looking up at the sky (through the cinema ceiling) and asking the gods how they could let something like this happen. He also throws out a random M.F filled rant about said Mutha-lovin' snakes on said Mutha-lovin' plane. My kids loved it.
Hopefully they will grow out of it...
Hey, I used to love the shit outta Knight Rider so...
I'm already hearing talk of sequel, maybe Hasselhoff can sign up and dust off his acting chops for us so the Germans can quit hogging him all to themselves.
So it's my berfday. I'm hopefully going to eat at Johnny Carino's tonight, they are way better than Olive Garden. They also serve this bread with the oil and some kind of seed thingies, and the calamari is the bomb. I will gorge. Eyelids will grow heavy.
Then sleep will overtake me for awhile...

I saw a picture of Roget Ebert, he looks like a handpuppet in that suit. It is also creeping the hell out of me.
In the words of Keanu:
"Cancer? Whoa!"
Time to pass the ball, Rodge. I'm open, baby!!!!
Over here!!!
Wanna see my creds?
Hey, I gave this turd a twiddling thumbs down. How's that?
SWISH...

Halle Berry Scary...

Went to da cloob tonight. Place called Savannah. It's ok even though they only play beaner music. Even danced some of it with my old lady. Weehaw!!!!
She has a black friend that's into the latin flavor. Some OTHER chick showed up that looked an awful lot like Halle Berry.
Emphasis on de awful!!!
Awfyl ugleh!!!!!
Nice grill she was sportin. I could have kicked a football through the gap in those chompers...
Yet another reason to get down on mah knees and thank Jehovah I don't drink!
An EDIT to deal with here...
This just in! Someone got some sloppy doobers. Pretty sure it was me. I got called in after I posted this short but sweet blog entry. A couple of tequila shots and around six beers was too much for my wife to overcome her lust for a steaming hot bowl of the Graveh's manchowder.
Yes, yes, I know. Do the math. I know it wasn't a marathon, ok?
But when you are dealing with someone who had, once again gang, six beers and a couple of shots of tequila, you wanna get it before they pass out or
throw up. It's just that simple.
I likes it simple...

The Magnificent McFlurry!!!!

Clocks go slow in a place of work
Minutes drag and the hours jerk
So get back to work an' sweat some more
The sun will sink an' we'll get out the door
It's no good for man to work in cages
Hits the town, he drinks his wages
You're frettin', you're sweatin'
But did you notice you ain't gettin'?
Don't you ever stop long enough to start?
To take your car outta that gear
Don't you ever stop long enough to start?

That's how it feels. I ain't gettin' and I'm gettin' a little weary of frettin'. The sweatin' is startin' to piss me off too! It's been a long hard week at work as well. Jamming to a Little Sandinista by the Clash right now. So what's new?
Hmmm...
Went to Springfield for Russell's funeral. I got into Springfield kinda late, then did a snatch and grab mission on my sister. We went over to Keith's house, where I met up with he, Greg, Bennie, Bennie's indian lass, and Jennifer. Keith and Jenn were already well on their way when I got there and were reliving past tragedies. And falling down alot, mostly Jennifer.
Ok ok, all Jenn.
But Greg saved the day and got us out of there intact. We headed over to Sam's. I met up with Russ's cousin Kenny, his two kids, Sam, Roy Jones, old hangout chicks named Theresa and Meredith, and other assorted peoples whose names escape me at the moment. Believe me, brow furrowed deeply remembering the names I did put down. So, I saw alot of cool pictures of Russ and the Philzone site he used to post messages at. I was feeling kinda down, and the weed I brought wasn't hitting hard enough for some reason. I was hoping somebody had the "killer" bud. Sam asked me if I'd been adjusted yet.
I said, "No, I feel kinda maladjusted, to tell you the truth."
He bellowed, "Well-l-l-l then! Let's get this man his adjustment then!!!!"
He hands me a pipe with black stuff smeared in it. Hash, he says. It was very nice, and had a good body high. I would like to dance with THAT devil again...
Yay for me! I can check hash off the list now, if such a list exists.
The next day, after buying new shirt and shoes for my suit, I stop over at Sunny Valley to chat with Russ one last timeand smoke an obligatory doobie. When I finish, it starts pouring down hard and a lightning storm spun its macabre web in the sky, RIGHT OVER THE FUNERAL HOME WHERE RUSS WAS AT. And I had just asked for a sign.
Go figure. Russ was always like that...
Proving me wrong.
(The rest of the story tomorrow as it is 2:35 in the morning and I am a wreck. I can't keep my eyes open any longer.)

Russell Lane's Obituary

I'm heading off in just a little bit to Springfield. My friend, Keith called me earlier today, he had just found out. I'm dreading this, but have to go.
The picture above is his obituary, if anyone who happens to look up his name and finds their way here, please get in touch with me. I would love to hear from any other friends of Russell, regardless of whether I know you or not.
Peace...

Descent Into Possumtoed Bitter Reflections of Tig Ol' Bitties...

So I went to see The Descent tonight. A gaggle of cameltoed chicks spelunking their way through uncharted caverns laden with ghoulish possum headed broccoli babies and pitfalls by the oodles.
Can you say "Snap"?
(As in bones crunching...)
After snazzy but lame trailers for Saw 3 and Texas Chainsaw Massacre retread, I was wowed and amazed by what I saw. Although only female characters, the writing was sizzlin'...
Until the end. The very last scene/scare is just as unnecessary as the fact that they practically telegraphed it beforehand/leading up to it. It just cheapened it for me a tad. Otherwise, it would have stood out nicely. Thankfully, it didn't even have any T&A in it. I give it a solid B+ for the sweet semi tasteful gore and edge of your seat fast paced...ness. You get the picture, right?
Just leave when she starts sobbing by the road at the end. Before she looks into the passenger seat really slowly...
Still missing Russ, saw his death notice in the "net" paper, still feels unreal. I'm probably going to hit Springfield early evening tomorrow, see some people, crash somewhere, maybe with sis, and go to his funeral the next day.
There is a spot in the back of my head that feels like someone is putting minor electrical charges through it, and I feel the sensation of falling, but in a bad way. Like I am gonna splatter all over.
Death blows. I'm glad I never died by any accidental/purposeful means. But the alternative isn't all it's cracked up to be. Outlive everybody and feel the pain of their death.
Yay!!! Our purpose in life is to die and ultimately be forgotten, or if lucky, perverted by historians or (at best) gossipy mentally challenged descendents. Double yay!!!
I've heard that hearing the true MEANING OF LIFE is maddening to the mortal mind. Isn't this maddening enough? A lifetime of near bursts of greatness followed by crushing defeat, wearing away slowly at your lifemeter, not to mention your resolve. What a way to go.
Doomed, I say!!!
If you are lucky, you find God from wherever you stashed him way back at the end of childhood innocence. You can dust him off and hope that you either don't need him for a long time or you can hold up the facade long enough to slip into those pearly gates lest you backslide into sick depravity yet again. Comfort is nice. No one likes to go knowing that this is it. Maybe I will take that route myself some day, maybe not. Either way, we all gonna find out.
Who is behind the door? Jesus? Bhudda? Burt Convy?
Who, damnit?!?!?!?
Whoever you are, I am not amused. But I'm just being realistic.
You must be though...
amused, that is...

A Bientot!!!

Russell Edward Lane, Rest in Peace, Fellow Space Traveler...

I just got a phone call earlier from an old friend, Jay. He said my best friend, Russell, died yesterday. I didn't believe it at first. Jay has a habit of telling me evil lies, he had just recently told me Russ was a crackhead and a bunch of other dirty fibs. I got Russell's mom's number and called her. She filled me in on the details. It crushed me to hear her voice telling me all the things she told me. The worst part is that he and I had planned on getting together soon.
The whole thing is fucked up, really.
After high school, I had lived for a year with Russ and his mom. Somewhere in there afterwards, we'd had a falling out. On my 21st birthday, as a payback for a '90 Billy Idol show I'd treated him to, he took me to see PHISH, one of the best shows I've ever done in my life! After '93, we had only seen each other once, and very briefly. We were headed completely different directions in life, and a long parting seemed unspokenly necessary. Around a month or so ago, I had gotten a hit from Jay on my myspace page, talked to him, and filched Russell's number off him to call. We talked for several hours, and it seemed like our friendship had never even been on hiatus at all. Emails ensued.
We are talking at least ten fucking years here!
We were supposed to get together in the old house we lived at and do it up right one more time. He still lived there. That's how fucking cool he was. All the teenage things you go through in life, he and I stonily trudged onwards, dropping hits, rolling the Octabellifonioctic helma, smoking em like there was no tomorrow, and wriggling our bodies to the bodacious fingerings and string pluckings of Jerry-Bear and gang.
His funeral is on Sunday in Springfield and he will be cremated afterwards. I'm so bummed about the whole thing right now. The cruel gods are conspiring against me. Every possible happy futuristic plans I have to straighten out the wrongs in my life keep crashing and burning.
So the best friend of mine all throughout high school and beyond, the one who rolled our daily fatties from one end of high school to the other, the buddy who trippingly flailed next to me at dead shows, and shared many a plate of Springfield style cashew chicken and Burger King chicken sandwiches in silence is gone. Although I
DO feel we had mended any broken bridges and repaired a long stagnating friendship, I feel like we were robbed of a renewed, stronger bond.
Now I get to go to his funeral...
For you, buddeh, I am smoking this fattie, and jamming to the Terrapin Station cd. I would break my near 3 year sobriety to clink a St. Pauley Girl dark with ye right now. I know you are hanging with Jerry, and Frank, and Jimi, and so many others. Put a bottle of Stolichnaya in the freezer for me. I'll get there eventually...
Hope it's pretty fucking chilled by that time!
Got an amigo/amiga you haven't seen or heard from in forever? What a reason not to be late...
R.I.P. Russ

Asia: Minor Palpitations, Major Wood...

A little something I whipped up that makes a great desktop wallpaper. I loved her in Land of the Dead, she can beat the dog slobbers out of me anytime! Then I remembered that she was in XXX, although I don't plan on rewatching THAT turd of a movie again. Those eyes. Those pouty lips. It's all saying so much to me...
"I'm a slut, Ronnie. Take me."
That, AND the fact that she is NOT a bashful gal. I've seen her in an Italian magazine bearing ALL, along with some goofy looking choad, probably some Italian doofus. She has some kind of angel tattoo that goes all the way down from her belly to her hoo-hoo-nilly.
I DO like her so.
So anyways, I just thought I'd share that with all of ye. Had a great time with my niece this past weekend, she was a doll. It's weird hanging with someone that young that you have to really pay constant attention to, I'd forgotten what it was like. Cindi is pretty "low maintainence" and self entertaining, so it's been awhile. But good times were had and some energy was burned off. By both of us. Probably more ME than HER. Hah!
What's on tap tonight, you ask?
I bought the Syncronicity concert (83) from the Police on DVD for only $10. I plan on throwing it on the bigscreen(53") with surround sound tonight and kicking back. I also got Almost Heroes, with Chris Farley. This is a must, as it was his last film before his untimely demise. And it's a doozy!

So I'm just gonna kick it here at the flippity flop floop and slow roll my way into sweet oblivion...
Won't you join me...?
R.I.P. Bill Phillips. Died last week, put in the ground today. I knew him for around 11 years. We used to tell on each other for not wearing our beardnets. He was a strange old man with George Hamilton eyebrows, but he was cool. Too bad he smoked like a freight train. He was 90 pounds when he died...

The Invasion Begins!!!

We have a "Visitor" for the weekend. She apparently really likes to play the drums and can simultaneously appear in four different rooms. At the same TIME even!!!
Wheeee!!!!!!!!!
We held negotiations over the fate of the planet at Pizza Hut in Republic. We lost and now may NO LONGER call pepperoni by its name. We must now refer to it as: THAT SPICY BACON THAT I DON'T LIKE! (or be vaporized)
Other things mentioned: Rocketships, astronauts, and cherry pie. And whether or not I loved any or all of these things. And complete dominion over the races of the world.
Stay tuned, folks...

Failure is a TWO LETTER WORD!

Here's something you are going to hear alot, on occasion. I started working out and running again...
Which brings me back to the title once more.
Failure is a TWO LETTER WORD!
And that word is...
SO?!?!?!?
I've never read anything ANYWHERE that said you have to give up for all eternity just because you failed, or just plain threw in the towel at the time. You can choose to start your life over at any time or place that you want. Hell, if I didn't follow my own advice, I'd be doomed to a life of cigarettes, booze, junk food, and carpel tunnel inducing peter pounding! My (ex)sponsor said something to me once when we were doing a Fourth Step inventory for A.A.
"Ronnie, if I EVER went out again, I just don't think I could show my face around heeyah EVER again. EVER!"
And I thought, "Damn, isn't this like your fifth time back in? You must be too stupid to know, then, that the fork has already been "stuck" and the fat ladies are on their way to the Golden Corral buffet, with a hoarseness in their throats and a hunger in their bellies.
SO...
Don't give up! If you slide back down a little, or even plummet back down to the depths of, as I like to call it, "Lardassedness", then do not fret my little munchkins. We all tend to want to take it easy, it's a natural thing.
Motivation. Sometimes I have it, sometimes I don't. But I try, oh, how I try. Each and everytime, it gets easier though. I've been pretty good about my eating habits and when I weighed in, I was just a tad UNDER 170. I'm proud of that. I remember going to this funpark once when I was alot bigger (around 230), riding some bumper boats, and getting completely soaked. At the car, I took off my shirt to wring it out a bit.
THAT'S when I saw them. Three people in a car with a perfect view of the events unfolding. They were making faces and putting their hands in front of their eyes to shield them from my bodacious MOOBS. How deliciously cruel of them. I felt really bad at the time...
SO...
Those days are long gone. My kids go with me to the gym and work out with me. I also wear an MP3 player, so's I can jam to some sweet Duran whilst I turn this body into a lean, mean, lovemaking machine.
Ok, ok. It already IS a lovemaking machine, I'm just working on putting more of the lean and mean into it. This is so much better than sheepishly asking your family doctor for a few samples of Viagra. Which I never have, by the way, although I would STILL love to have four hours of "Penile Thunder" just for shits and giggles. And the OTHER thing, too!
SO...
What have we learned today? Failure is not always a permanent dilly-O. Feel free to give it another shot! What do you have to lose? You already suck at what you failed at.As Howard Jones once said...
Things Can Only Get Better!
So...
What are you waiting for? Hop to it!

You, Me, Dupree, and One Buttass Ugly Midget...

Catchy title, eh? I was faced with a dilemma of watching Crappy Movie One or Crappy Movie Two. I knew Dupree was going to suck, Owen Wilson plays the same tired ass hippie jackass in all his movies and I'm not up for that. I'm not really up for much of anything really, that's why I'm going to cut the movie review short this time.
Here's the brief version...
We ended up seeing Little Man. I laughed a few times, but my heart just wasn't in it. It amused me not. I feel nothing but loathing for most of the things around me. Or guilt/hopeless despair at times but I will get by. If you are my loved one or a friend reading this, do not worry. This too shall pass.
"So quit yer bitchin'!"
I just get tired of it all and want to go numb sometimes. But I plod onwards, even through shitty Wayans Bros extravaganzas of whitey jokes and ebonically charged tomfoolery. That old black guy who played the wacky father, the same guy who plays Ice Cube's dad in Friday, plays in every stupid rap star studded film of color. It's almost like it's a requirement or something, didn't help in this one though. After the FX of the past two weeks (Superman Returns, Pirates 2) these were just as creepy and distracting as White Chicks was. Were. Is. And the near future looks bleak as well. No decent trailers to speak of, and Spiderman 3 doesn't come out until next year. Although there might be something that escapes me at this time, I can't think of anything that has me counting the days until it comes out. An epic big screen mindblower from Frank Zappa would do the trick. In addition to the Cranberries, I've rekindled my love anew for Frank by hearing and seeing as much of him as possible, especially on youtube. The Crossfire in '89 where he served up some blithering idiot over censorship, surprising the hosts and winning over their inner voices of reason, was FABBO! I've been drifting too far away from the teachings of "FZ". Can't be having that...
"He used to cut my grass. He was a very nice boy..."
I'm hurtling towards something, people, I just don't know what it is. And I'm starting to not care. Doesn't mean I'm not gonna hit it head on believe you me. I just might not be steering it in any particular direction, is all.
Sometimes it's just better that way...
So unless you own all the In Living Color box sets, Little Man is best saved for its impending release and rehash on BET.
D+.
And that's being generous too. How come they always gotta be dissin' the MAN
Dayumn!
I need flesh eating zombies and I need Benchwarmers on DVD. Swardson is the man in that, but Schneider, Spade, and Heder do it up real nice this time too. I've been having Deuce Bigalow sightings alot lately, he was even a rehabbing D Rex in Little Man. Something else I saw just the other day too. And Click. I can't wait for that to come out too.
"When's he gonna end this rambling, nonsensical post and retire to the living room to play Resident Evil 4 'til the wee hours of the wee morn...?"
Soon, love...
Getting very scary in the middle east right now.
Is it time to show my true identity yet...?
(You still don't even know if that is horn or halo I'm hiding.)
(Maybe a bit of both...)
Eternal damnation, and...
Hot burnin' fiyah!
Hot burnin' fiyah!
Hot burnin' fiyahhhhh!!!!

Dear Irish Hottie...

I'm in love with your voice. If you would consider breast augmentation, then "we" could start a family sooner than "we" anticipated...
Why wait?
Lets not LINGER...

If you, if you could return
Don't let it burn,don't let it fade
I'm sure I'm not being rude
But it's just your attitude
It's tearing me apart
It's ruining everything
I swore, I swore I would be true
And honey so did you
So why were you holding her hand
Is that the way we stand
Were you lying all the time
Was it just a game to you

(chorus)
But I m in so deep
You know I'm such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to let it linger
Oh, I thought the world of you
I thought nothing could go wrong
But I was wrong, but I was wrong

If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie
Things wouldn't be so confused
And I wouldn't feel so used
But you always really knew
I just wanna be with you
............................
I like to imagine I'm being left for another woman in this song. In MY version, we ALL hook up in the end. Anyway, the version I downloaded has Simon LeBon singing with her and taking the lead here and there. It is kickass, and I've checked her out on "the web." She's pretty hot and feisty looking. I just wouldn't wanna hear all that crap about how the world is suffering.
She'd bring me down.
Can't be havin' that...

The WHAMMY JAMMY FRIED CHICKEN QUEEN NATION of DOMINATION...

So on occasion, I hang out and play WHAMMY PLUS on gsn.com, but always as a guest. Earlier tonight, I entered into a game with some regulars. Now first off, let me say that they get PRETTY nasty in the chat going on off to the side AND they dog you, trying to jinx you into a Whammy. So, as it's been awhile and I'm stoned rusty, I do mediocre in the first round. This also helps to lure them into some delusion that I am "easy pickens." I hunker down in the second round and begin answering questions in typical fashion, usually BEFORE the complete question has scrolled down. They are NOT liking this. The final round of spins come and I go first. I can normally hit any spot on the wheel and was dead on once again, over and over. I passed on NINE spins with almost $23,000 in my bank. The lady next to me Whammy'ed out, leaving just the Rube with the NINE spins, in addition to his own. He builds up a mound of cash totalling $16,000, then passes off HIS remaining spins back to ME.
A little taste of my own medicine...?
I think NOT!
An easy solution to my dilemma there was, AND a way to keep him from leaving the game. I wanted him to have hope all the way to the bone crushing end and NOT KNOW WHAT HAD JUST HAPPENED TO HIM UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE. I WHAMMY out right off the bat, enticing him AND moving the other spins to a column that allows me to pass back to him at will. He smells blood. Yet it is not to be so. After raising it back up to $30,000, I hit the BIG BANK and added another $30,000+ to my total. THEN passed SIX spins BACK to his speechless ass.
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE...
(Cue the Queen music!)
It's SO much more fun than playing the computer, I get to attempt (and usually succeed) at predicting real people's reactions to the ass woopin's I dole out. I also get to read the horrible things they write about me in chat. I am semi avoided there by regulars now, but I never shy from battle. I relish in slipping around in the entrails of your gutted egos. Bring that shit. I am like RAINMAN when it comes to useless knowledge and trivia games. People tell me I should be on a gameshow but I'd probably blow it in real life. Who knows, wonder if they'd let me sneak off and get stoned during the breaks. I would then rise to the occasion, clapping my Cheeto stained hands together in "greenbacked" ecstacy, as I mowed my way unmercifully through the dim witted competition with glee and mayhem. I would also like to try my hand at some Texas Hold Em. I'm a pretty good bullshitter, and look like I'm lying all the time anyway. I might not do too bad...

"One man... One goal (BWOMP BW-O-O-MP) One mission."
"One heart... One soul (BWOMP BW-O-O-MP) Just one solution!"
"One flash, of light! (Yeah!) One GOD, one vision!!!"
"Gimme gimme gimme fried chicken"
Yeah...
Let's go!

burn, baby, burn...

this world rejects me
this world threw me away
this world never gave me a chance
this world gonna have to pay

life don't believe in your institutions
i did what you want me to
like the cancer in your system
i've got a little suprise for you

something inside of me
has opened up its eyes
why did you put it there
did you not realize
this thing inside of me
it screams the loudest sound
sometimes i think i could

burn

i will kill him where you're standing
flock of sheep out on this pay
with all your lies bumped up around you
i can take it all away

something inside of me
has opened up its eyes
why did you put it there
did you not realize
something inside of me
it screams the loudest sound
sometimes i think i could

i'm gonna burn this whole world down

i am the agent i am corruption i am the angel of your destruction
i am subversion secret desire i am your future swallow down all that fire
i never was a part of you

burn

Raiders of the Lost Beer Cooler...

Or does Nebraska Nolte and the Wet Bar of Doom sound better? He could've singlehandedly crushed the career of Christopher Reeve AND Harrison Ford if he'd played his cards right!
So I just got back from the lake. We spent the day out there swimming and BBQing. I'm still white as a sheet though, but a little better hydrated, and it was nice to take the kids out so they could run apeshit all over the place. Wear themselves out for an early bedtime. MY Mama didn't raise no fool. I also started watching the first Spiderman movie as well, but fell asleep while he was learning to do the web thing. I just have no patience or "giddy-up-n-go" to sit through a full movie without falling asleep or getting bored with it. Adult ADHD maybe. I've always been antsy and have NEVER been able to keep out of trouble.
Such is life, I can't change who I am, can I?
I lack motivation. However, I have kept THIS little badboy going on its third month. Maybe not EVERYDAY, but more often than SOME, who shall remain nameless. And where the fuck are you, non commenters? I need to feel your love, your admiration. Your unflinching obedience to my dominion. Let me smother you in gravy. Come on. I'll show you a good time...
What else? My birthday is a month and a half away, and I'm three months from THREE years of sobriety in A.A.!!!! Yay for me!
"What's THAT?" you say.
"But you're a pothead!"
So...?
Better THIS than slave to nicotine and caffeine. Or those stupid Japanese puzzles that are the new fad nowadays...
Bring back Backgammon, I say!

Nick Nolte, Savior of the Universe?

Barley, Hops, and the American Lay? Imagine a world where he HAD been allowed to play Superman. Beercans strew all over the Fortress of Solitude. Frozen patches of vomit consisting of cheetos and Wild Turkey 151. He wouldn't even START saving the day until AT LEAST after ten am. On top of THAT, he was almost Han FUCKING Solo!!!

I guess they would have had Mac Davis playing a more curly locked Chewbacca, complete with "swingin" medallions and I'm sure the Millenium Falcon would have a CB in there. Along with empty pints of Evan Williams and crushed cigarette packs AND randomly placed puddles of vomit. Consisting of cheetos...
You know the drill.
"Awwww, Chew-BACK-uhh, that's not a GODDAMN hyperdrive!!!
"Awwww, Jeez-USS!!!"
I've got one MORE blockbuster hit hero that he ALMOST played, you're NEVER gonna guess which one it is. But it's a biggun. I'm saving it for a later post. (Hint: Tom Selleck was also offered the role.) Nick Nolte completely blows my mind. He could have been in some of the top movies of all time. Luckily, he's a man who can't say NO to a "good time". He reminds me of ANOTHER trouser skidmark, Gary Busey. The GRILL on that "coke hoovering" space doofus alone is enough to scare ME away. I don't like naturally LOUD people. Add boisterous to the equation and you've got yourself a real, bonafide ASSHOLE on your hands. 'Nuff said on that subject.
So, I DID see Superman last night, but am completely torn on this issue. There were things I really liked. But there were ALSO things I really didn't like about it.
Things I liked: More gritty/actiony, and less PG than the predecessor, Marc Singer adds a nice touch to a franchise as cold and lifeless as Reeve' worm infested corpse. Things I did NOT like: Kevin Spacey (Hackman will forever be the definitive Lex Luthor in MY heart). That, and I just don't like Spacey. Just little things about the movie really. Things I can't explain, maybe an even more adult themed version would have been more to my liking.
***Spoilers***
At least "Soop" has a kid now. Imagine if it HAD been Nolte. There would have been super "rugrats" scattered around trailer parks all over the U.S. of A. So we can thank our lucky stars then, things are well in the multiverse once again. Hallelujah.
I'm not going to SPOIL it anymore than I already have. But the new Spiderman trailer was what got me going. Venom. Finally. Unfortunately, it's still almost a year away. See the trailer, I think I actually started to get wood watching it. I give it up to them for doing a bang up job with Spidey. That movie is going to make a shitload of money. Maybe top 10 all time material. Yes, the trailer looked THAT good.
Awwwwww, Jeez-USS, look at the time, will'ya?
So to recap:
Nick Nolte-drunken fucktard. Superman-B+ material worth seeing but a little long in the tooth. Spiderman 3-the BOMB.
Any questions...?