No matter what I do wrong...

I'm happy my kid is the coolest kid on the planet. I'm wayyyy happy she has a much harder skin than I had. I cried like a bitch all the time.

"Want some ice cream, Ronnie?!?!?"

Punch you in the eye first.

The Texas judge can kiss my ass, his daughter, too.

My kid is the most in tune person to my dreams, even if they don't coincide...

She wants me to be the best, she wants me to...

"Be there?"

Love her?!?!?

That I will always do. She has no idea how many nights I stroke her hair, no matter how much my hnads/wrists always hurt.

I'm only 39 but I feel like Uncle Clyde. I capitalize out of respect.